Chapter 734 I Will Be Right Here With You

"No, Tina. No way! I can't by any possible means! I refuse to read a single word of this because I understand just how much pain you must have been through and how desperate you must have been.

But what Jean told me makes perfect sense. This letter is way more affectionate than anything I've ever let myself be a part of for nearly two decades.

We've been missing out on each other for a very long while. No... Actually, I am the one who has been missing out on something beautiful! I only cared about my own feelings, and never even stopped to think how you felt! Oh Tina! How selfish I have been!

I never tried to feel or understand what you were doing, what you wanted. I think I can safely say that I met a lot of people but never paid attention to that one person in the world who actually cared for me.

It wasn't until today that the truth dawned on me. Tina, you have been by my side for such a long while that now, I can't even imagine how I am supposed to live without you. My lack of attention towards you continued for so long that now, I hate myself for knowing so little about you...

I can't tell you the situation I got myself in when I heard that you had overdosed on some pills to end your life! And that too just to get away from me. I panicked hard because I feared that I had lost you forever.

That was also the moment when I realized that your face, your smile, your voice, and the affection that you've been showing me for two decades have been carved into my bones after that much time spent in your company! It has melted in my blood, and no one can take that away from me now.

I can't do this... I can't live a life without you! How...How can I do that?"

Tears were streaming from Juan's eyes, like a mountain spring gushing forth from an orifice in the mountain, and his eyes were locked on Tina's pale-colored face. He picked up her hand very gently as if he could have broken her skin in a matter of seconds and stamped a kiss on her palm. He slowly put down her hand under the quilt, took a deep breath, and opened the letter that Jean had given him earlier. Both of his hands were trembling.

"Dear Juan, When you lay your eyes on this letter, I will have left you, and this little world forever. I imagined a thousand scenarios in my head about how you would react to my choice of a 'getaway'. And if you feel sorry for me in the slightest, then I will be satisfied. However, I don't think that you will do such a thing. Most probably, you will just throw this letter in a pile of garbage and move on to your work and through your life. Your time will never stop for me today too, just like it never stopped for all the moments we spent together. Juan, you hate me! You hate every inch of my being; and that is just because we were engaged when we were so little. You hate my company because my love is an invisible rope on you that locks you in and you still haven't found a way to free yourself. You hate me so much that you want me to disappear forever so that you could achieve some closure.

For the past 20 years, I have complied with every wish of the elders, trying my best to be the woman of your desires. I wanted to be someone who helps you and cares for you with every fiber of her existence. I don't know if I succeeded but it sure seems like I didn't. You have no idea just how many obstacles lay in my path to becoming that perfect woman. I worked my ass off for you and didn't care what I had to give up in the process. I dedicated my whole youth just to be with you. Some might ask Why? Why did I try so hard to catch your shadow? Did this ever cross your mind to look for a reason in my affection? Juan, the reason is the first time I met you; that very second. You had that smile on your face that simply brightened my whole world. I don't know why I felt that way but it brought me hope and I decided that you were the one that very instant.

I never even dreamed that I would become a burden on your shoulder over the years. I never thought that one day, you would do anything to avoid me and my affection towards you. After I woke up to reality about how much you don't want me, I gave up. I will do anything for you to have your own life back, even that means to sacrifice mine. I don't care. As long as you are free and doing what you love, I am satisfied. I have been walking on my knees and looking up to beg you for love for a very long time now. This has gone on so long that I don't even remember when everything started. I kept looking at you from afar, hoping that the smile on your face never faded.

I will not dare to dream about marrying you, or about putting on a white gown and walking down the aisle towa

Jean Wen sacrificed herself for family interests. Before her husband divorced her, she made every effort to please him.

"You are inexperienced in bed," he said coldly.

"You! Give that land to my family, or I won't agree to divorce," Jean replied furiously.

"Fine. It is exactly what I am thinking about," he sneered.

ed his own grip on her tiny, cold hands once more and whispered softly, "Oh, thank god! My dear Tina, easy now. Let me go get you a doctor. I will be back soon, I promise."

Tina struggled to open her eyes fully. She heard Juan's words but still didn't want to let go of his hand. She slowly shook her head, refusing to let him leave like a willful child who didn't want to let go of her favorite toy. Only heaven knew how long had she been waiting for this moment. All she could think of was that Juan was crying, not for anyone else but for her.

He looked at Tina and her stubborn little hands holding onto his, and smothered his urge to get a doctor. He pulled out his hands from her grip very gently. Then he appeased her with all dewy-eyed and lightly rubbed the back of her hands and crooned, "Okay, okay, I won't go anywhere. I will be right here with you."

Tina gathered her strength and beamed a smile at him. She was pleased to hear that he'd stay. She wanted to give him a hug but was too weak to manage any movement.

Juan's mood had swung terribly after he had read Tina's "farewell letter". It was like taking a roller coaster ride. However, everything was gone from his mind when he saw that Tina didn't want to let go of his hands.

"Tina, you have no idea what have I been through for the past hours. Your letter and your quiet face; I couldn't have survived that. But I am glad that you are awake now, or I wouldn't have known what to do. I am overwhelmed with joy to see you alive again! Tina, don't you ever do this to me again. It's not funny at all!" Juan switched from pleasure to warnings all of a sudden. He couldn't bear the thought of this happening once more. He had to warn her—"not again!"

A complicated expression showed up on Tina's face. She was way beyond happy to see Juan when she opened her eyes. But his sudden switch startled her. She wanted to hide her face when Juan said the word "letter".

She couldn't believe that Juan had just read the letter. But that wasn't the worst part. The fact that she had to face him after the "farewell letter" was the reason she was feeling ashamed. 'Oh god, this is so embarrassing!' Tina murmured in her heart, turning her face away from Juan.

She could feel that Juan was waiting for her obedience and she could also feel the heat from Juan's stare, daggering all over her. So she shifted her glance back at Juan and nodded her agreement. 'Juan, you win. You always do.' Tina took a deep breath inside.

Juan finally took a deep sigh with relief. His nerve had been seriously broken with since the beginning of this incidence and Tina's response eased him.

He took her hand gently inside of his and gave her a light kiss on her palm. His face turned extremely tender and he whispered softly, "Thank god you are all right. I don't know what I was supposed to do without you. Maybe I would have spent half of my life regretting not being with you and the other half resenting myself. Tina, will you give the me the pleasure and marry me when you return from the hospital? You will make me the happiest man on earth!"

'Marry me...'