Chapter 183 - Self Doubt

We follow her deeper into the cave and then she says while pointing at a seven foot cavern entrance.

"once we enter inside their, you will feel a dense pressure trying to crush you."

I ask curiously.

"so what do we do about it?"

she replies.

"you will close you eyes and concentrate on continually releasing your inner mana, and spread it around to combat the pressure."

confused on what she is talking about, I ask.

"how do I do that?"

she sighs and explains it carefully.

"when you feel the pressure mounting, you will breathe in and out slowly, while releasing waves of mana."

Rosie adds on.

"your brain is responsible on how much mana your body can emit, so all you have to do is visualize the mana inside of you and concentrate on how much to release."

I reply.

"okay I think I can do that."

Lady Mengshee claps her hands together and says.

"great, now let's get moving."

"shit this is too much."

I look to Rosie and see that she is having the problems as me, but Lady Mengshee is walking around seemingly unfazed by the sudden pressure, she looks at us and say with an ominous tone.

"both of you better start fighting back that pressure, or your heart will explode."

sweat starts pouring out of me at an insane rate, Rosie who is also sweating says to me.

"remember what she said, concentrate on the flow of your mana."

I collapse to the ground while clutching on to my c.h.e.s.t and think to myself.

"I can't so it, this is too much for me to handle."

I look to Rosie once again, and see that she has her eyes closed, and is no longer going through the same struggle as me, Lady Mengshee kneels down next to me and says.

"your friend, overcame the intense mana that is flowing in this cave, so hurry up and do the same or you death will come soon."

"good, now focus on emitting mana to counter act the pressure."

as the pressure around begins to soften up on me, I start breathing in an out calmly, and focus on releasing the mana inside into the air surrounding me, then Lady Mengshee chuckles.

"good job."

Rosie asks her.

"so what now?"

she replies.

"now keep that level of concentration, until it becomes second nature to the both of you."

I ask.

"how will we know?"

"when you no longer feel the pressure trying to crush you."

I follow up by asking.

"what of we run out of mana."

she replies.

"your mana will not deplete, since you are not using any spells."

after me and Rosie stay like this for what seems like a couple of hours, Lady Mengshee breaks the silence and asks me.

"so why are you seeking to increase your power?"

I open my eyes but still maintaining the same level of concentration and answer.

"there is this otherworldly entity calling itself Damien, and it has taken control a very powerful person named Mauri, and it intends to increase its power by consuming living beings and I need to increase my own strength if I want to defeat if."

"I'm glad you answered me honestly, because if you didn't I would have killed you where you."

I reply.

"I have no reason to lie to someone who is helping me."

she giggles.

"Leonard said the same thing to me, when we first met."

she then says.

"anyways, once you complete your training with me, defeating this Damien entity will be possible."

she looks me in the eyes and says.

"but strength isn't the thing that is going to hold you back from defeating him."

"so what is going to hold me back?"

she points at my forehead and says.

"that fear and doubt that is going through your mind."

I reply in a defensive tone.

"I don't have any doubt in my mind."

she replies.

"maybe no direct doubt or fear about defeating Damien, but there is doubt and fear that had carried over from your past life and defeats from previous battles."

I respond.

"what do you mean?"

"your afraid og losing her again, and live in fear that you will not see your family again."

I ask.

"of course I would, it's normal isn't?"

she nods.

"normally, but this Damien character is something that will use that against you."

I ask her.

"the how should I fight against that?"

she responds.

"we will dig into your past life and erase that burden over in this life."

I ask.

"how?"

she doesn't answer me and then all of the sudden I find myself standing in a school hallway, with rows of lockers against the wall, I look around and see a bunch of familiar dace and students from my middle school days walking to their next class, I then think to myself.

"why am I, in my middle school days?"

but then a voice I haven't heard in a long time, says to me.

"Daisuke, come on let's get going before we are late to our next glass."

I look around still unsure why I'm here and then I ask out loud.

"Lady Mengshee what is going here?"

but I don't get an answer from her, instead my middle school friend with glasses, messy short hair, and is wearing a black collar shirt, buttoning down from top to bottom with a button decorated with our school emblem and his black

pants are kept in place with a black belt, and his worn down sneakers remind me he never cared too much about his shoes, looks at me like I'm crazy and asks.

"who is Lady Mengshee?"

I reply to him.

"uh no one, let's just go before we are late."

while we make our way to our next class a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach overwhelms me as I remember what happened to middle school friend Yuto Saito.

"he committed suicide, because he was bullied relentlessly."

I stare at him and think to myself feeling completely helpless.

"I'm not ready to relive this awful part of my life again."