Chapter 184 - Life Of Daisuke Takagi

I spent the whole day, thinking about Saito's fate, completely ignoring everyone, I then ask myself.

"am I supposed to stop it from happening?"

instantly everyone and everything completely freezes, almost like the whole world stood still, and then Lady Mengshee appears in front of me and answers.

"no, this is one of your many painful memories that you carry around like heavy baggage and you need to confront it, instead of avoiding it, so that you can properly heal emotionally."

I ask, hoping that I won't have to do that.

"do I really need to?"

she nods.

"yes, because if you don't do it, Damien will use this to exploit you emotionally at every opportunity and it will be the very thing that will defeat you."

she then says.

"prepare yourself, because we are traveling on the day your friend's body was found hanging by his parents."

I shake my head.

"no I'm not ready."

she replies.

"you better be, or you'll be here for a good while."

suddenly, the surrounding environment turns into a big blur, and the a couple of seconds later, things clear up and I find myself walking out my house, where my younger sister Shiho from my past life, who is still in her pajamas, waves goodbye.

"see you later, big bro."

I remember that she woke up with a fever this morning and I yell at her.

"get back to bed and rest!"

I sigh and think to myself.

"maybe, I can somehow save Saito, all I need to do is confront those bullies that have been constantly tormenting him."

I quicken my pace, and arrive at my school in no time, and right there in front gates of the school, I spot the three guys already harassing Saito.

"heya gopher, yer paying for our lunches today as well."

one of them pushes Saito down with the heel of his foot and laughs.

"make sure ya get it right this time, or yer getting another beating."

my anger reaches my breaking point and I try to yell at them to stop, but no words come out of my mouth, almost like an external force has prevented me from doing so and then suddenly Lady Mengshee whispers.

"this is not how it works, Collin, you can't change the past."

my body begins to walk on it's own, and even though I try fighting it, my body won't listen to me, no matter what I do and as I enter the school, leaving Saito behind, I begin to cry.

"damn it, was I always this cowardly in my past life."

I look back once more and say to myself.

"damn you, Daisuke, you should have done something."

the world around me turns into a huge blur once more, and suddenly I find myself playing video games with my sister Shiho, I then think to myself.

"what the hell, how much time has passed?"

Shiho shouts with excitement.

"ha, I beat you again Daisuke."

but once I remember exactly what happens next tears start to roll down my face, Shiho notices and panics a little.

"Daisuke what's wrong? it's just a game, you don't need to cry."

she hugs me and says.

"here I'll go easy on you, in the next game

I shake my head.

"it's not that."

she asks.

"then what is it?"

I stare at my bedroom door, and as it swings open, my heart drops and a feeling of dread completely rolls over me.

"damn it, even though I know what happens next, I can't help but feel helpless."

my mother from my past life, peeks through the door wearing a plain white t shirt, underneath her light pink apron, and a worn out light blue pair of jeans, and says.

"oh um Shiho, I need to talk to your brother for a moment alone."

Shiho stands up and nods her head.

"okay."

she then says to me.

"come and get me when you are done, so we can play some more."

after Shiho leaves my room, my mom sighs and asks.

"you are probably wondering why, I want to talk to you alone?"

even though I already know, I shake my head.

"no."

she sits down next to me, and after a few moments of complete silence, she exhales and says.

"what I'm about to tell you, is not easy to say, but I'd rather have you hear it from me, then having to hear about it from somewhere else."

unable to maintain the facade that I have no idea what's going on, I ask with a sobbing voice.

"did something bad happen?"

at the sight of me crying, she holds me close to her and she also breaks down crying.

"oh baby, I'm so sorry I wish it wasn't something bad."

I sniffle.

"what happened."

she replies.

"Saito's mother called me, and told me she and his dad found him dead in his room."

I bury my face in shoulders and I began to blame myself.

"it's all my fault, if I wasn't such a coward who abandons his friend, he would still be alive."

my mom still sobbing, shakes her head.

"how can you say that? it's not your fault."

I continue sobbing.

"how can I even call myself a friend, if I abandoned me when he needed me the most."

my mom stays silent as I continue to ramble.

"he would always look to me for help, but all I ever did was avoid and ignore him whenever those bullies were picking on him."

her hand gently strokes the back of my head and then she says with Lady Mengshee's voice.

"it's okay dear child, let it all out."

my mom suddenly turns into Lady Mengshee, but even though she did so, she still continues to hold me close to her.

"now how long has it been since you've emotionally dealt with this buried memory?"

I reply softly.

"since my middle school days."

I then ask.

"did I really have to re live all of that?"

she nods and asks.

"notice how vulnerable you are right now?"

I respond.

"yes I see and now I get it why you want me to confront my bad memories, so that Damien can't use this against me."

I then ask.

"so what now?"

she answers as her face changes continuously from, Saito, Syd, Rosie, Gale and Klein.

"we will revisit you memories, until you are no longer broken down in tears when those memories are brought up and then I'll remind you that you are not a failure or a coward."

her face turns back to normal and sighs.

"I know it sounds harsh, but if you can't do it, then you won't stand a chance against Damien."

I close my eyes and reply.

"okay then, I'll be in your care."

Lady Mengshee looks at Rosie and says to her.

"after I'm done with him, you're next."

she nods.

"yes ma'am."

she looks back at me and says.

"alright then, I hope your ready, because we are going back in."

I respond.

"hold on let me prepare myself."

she shakes her head.

"sorry but no prepping, because Damien will not give you a chance to prepare yourself, when the two of you eventually face off."

and just like that I'm instantly transferred back where I started, walking down my middle school's hallway with Saito, I look at him and think to myself.

"shit, I don't know if I can do this."