Chapter 318: I'm Not Dying Tomorrow

Qian Meng's eyes were probably red and glassy. And she knew Mo Qingchen looked the same.

The guy left quickly, leaving them to their own devices. 

Mo Qingchen sat down and took the mug into his hand.

He took a sip of his coffee and then sighed as he looked at her. 

"You're mad at me for not telling you sooner," he stated. 

Tears filled her eyes as she rubbed her hands over her face. Was she mad at him? It felt wrong to be mad at someone who had died and come back to rescue her at all costs. But she was definitely hurt.

"I just…" she hesitated for a moment, trying to reign in her emotions. "Why wouldn't you tell me, Mo Qingchen? You already figured out that I had a similar experience, but you didn't tell me. I could have been with you longer. I just don't understand why you would let me sit there, completely oblivious, doing nothing—"

She was so sick of crying, but the sobs came back in full force. 

"I probably should have told you, Qian Meng. You may hate me for the rest of your life for not doing so, but I didn't want to put you through that hell once again. Between me telling you everything and you someday revealing the strange but scarring dream you had, I thought we would figure it out. I wanted our time together to be unburdened, I guess. I didn't want the dark cloud of doubt looming over us all the time. I guess, I thought that if you didn't know, it would be easier. I didn't want to drag it out. But sometimes I will say or do things that are unprecedented and you will think I am evil. But I am stopping things from happening before they did in that world."

She made a terrible sound of pain somewhere between her sobs, loud enough to cut him off from speaking further. 

"It's not enough. You… you are giving up everything for me. For some guilt that you hold on to? Why? Do you realize that the guilt ate you up? You are too young. I'm too young to lose you. If you continue on like this… you'll die in a few years." She wailed. "I don't want to be a widow so young. Even if I look fabulous, I don't want it!"

Mo Qingchen was going to chuckle but he couldn't. 

"Qian Meng, don't cry. Please," he pleased. His eyes blurred as tears filled them. "Please don't cry."

He reached across the table to take her hand but she couldn't bear to look at him. Her eyes remained locked on her water bottle.

"It's not fair," she continued. "I can't let you do this…"

"You listen to me, Qian Meng," Mo Qingchen instructed. "You are going to be just fine. I am going to be just fine. We are both strong and we will get through this. I don't have a single doubt in my head that we will overcome anything that the universe throws at us. You are going to stand at the top of the world alongside me, we will be happily married and every dream that we ever had will come true." His voice shook as more tears came from him. "If you want, we will have children together someday and you are going to be a wonderful mother."

"Stop," she begged, cutting him off once again. "Don't do that. Don't reassure me like that. It sounds like you are saying goodbye. The way you keep working and getting no sleep. The way you throw yourself into protecting me. Mo Qingchen, it scares me. Do you want to die?"

"I'm so sorry, Qian Meng." She looked up to see him wiping tears from his cheeks. "I'm sorry for putting you through this."

Qian Meng took a few deep breaths, trying to calm herself down.

"I'll wrap up work here quickly and we will go home. Once we are there, I will start taking care of you," she sniffed. 

She hadn't given any thought to this, at least not until she stated what was on her mind. It was just instinct. She just knew that she needed to be there with him as long as she could. "I want to stay beside you and make sure you are taking care of yourself."

"Qian Meng, you have work left here. I can't ask you to put everything on hold and come home with me. And I am definitely not going to ask you to spend every moment taking care of me," he insisted. 

"You're not asking me. I'm telling you."

"But your work. You have a lot to take care of."

"Do you think my work matters more to me than you? You already took away so much time from me. You are not going to take the rest of our time together away, too!" she answered, raising her voice. 

"It's not like I am dying tomorrow," he groaned.

She was floored that he would even argue with her about this. Why wouldn't he want her to come home? And either way, he needed her. Who else would take care of him? Who else could make him follow their instructions? 

She didn't know how much work she needed to put into getting his body into shape, but she was sure that it would worsen if she didn't take charge quickly.

He must have noticed her plotting, so he responded. "Okay." He held up his hand in surrender. "You're right. I should have told you sooner and I should follow your instructions. God knows I am not going to argue over having you around at home."

"Good, because it is not up for discussion," she replied stubbornly. 

"But you have to promise me something, Qian Meng," he paused for a moment. "You have to complete your work before accompanying me home. I don't mind going through some hoops and working from a distance."