Chapter 902

He didn't urge me again. I sat on the toilet and looked at myself in the mirror. I was so stupid, so confused and so thin.

You all say that Lin Xia dotes on me, loves me and protects me. I'm lucky to be with him, and I think I'll live well.

But I'm always unhappy.

But if you ask me, I won't regret doing so. Back then, I'm afraid I'll choose this again.

Go out and wipe your hair with a towel. Lin Xia gives me a glass of warm water: "drink some. Do you need some sleeping pills?"

"No, it's almost six o'clock now. It'll dawn soon."

Don't want to stay in the bedroom, go outside, find out the smoke I hid, go to the balcony, open the window of the balcony, and the whistling wind blew me back.

Light a cigarette, fill the heart and lungs with a faint smell of tobacco, put aside the annoyance, and look down from high.

More than five o'clock in Beijing, has begun to have the taste of fireworks. The sun has not come out. It is gray and gray, moist and with endless cold. It is green and green, and now it is black and green.

If you jump down from here, you may not cry for anyone, or be sad for anyone, or love or hate anyone.

A voice urged me: jump down, jump down, Mo Qianxun. You are so painful now. Is living to be painful all the time?

Another voice said: it's ridiculous. Dare to die. What else dare not? People who want to die are cowardly. People look down on them when they live and even more after they die.

I waved my head to wake myself up.

The orange lights can't shine on the wet and cold of March.

The wind was too strong, and the smoke I had just smoked a few mouthfuls was blown to the bottom. I watched quietly. The butt of the cigarette burned slowly, the heat between my fingers became heavier and heavier, and the pain began to catch consciousness slowly.

It's nice to have such pain.

Lin Xia didn't sleep, but she didn't come out and didn't call me. Throw the hot cigarette butt on the ground and spit out the smoke ring to make the wind look bad.

Xiao Bei is like a cigarette. He can't quit anyway.

I don't want to hurt Lin Xia, but I think one day, I will hurt him severely, even if I don't want to.

Now it's like a dead end. I can't get out. I can only look up to the sky. There are floods in all directions. There's no way to escape and I can't breathe.

I don't know what to do. I don't know.

"Chihiro, come in. It's windy there."

Lin Xia finally called me, and I went in with a sigh.

He closed the window, leaving only a small crack in the wind: "go and have breakfast."

He didn't seem to want to wait for his mother to come up to make breakfast. I just followed him down in my cotton pajamas. He drove me through the cold morning of the city.

The traffic lights kept turning and the sanitation workers who got up early were cleaning the roads. The city was quiet, but everything was still going on like this. Every day was so orderly.

Newspapers, cleaners, breakfast sellers, vegetable sellers and flower senders will never be lonely in Beijing at any time.

The bakery already has the smell of bread, and the lights are gradually on more and more, but the sky is also getting brighter and brighter, which looks very bleak.

Familiar roads, familiar shops, there are no skyscrapers and not a lot of traffic. There are not as many cleaners here as there are in the city center, broken paper, fallen leaves, and visible.

Lin Xia stopped the car slowly. It was a newly opened breakfast shop.

I used to eat breakfast here. It tastes good, cheap and a lot. Eating a bowl can save even Chinese food.

I followed him in. The simple table had traces of years, and the smell was still so familiar.

"Miss Mo, I haven't seen you for a long time. It's rare to try our Guilin rice noodles again."

I didn't say a word. Lin Xia said, "a bowl of plain rice noodles."

"OK, Mr. Lin."

He and they are really not strangers. As I expected, Lin Xia has never been indifferent to me. He always looks at me from a distance, but he knows everything about me.

If I don't fall in love with Ji Xiaobei, maybe he can't help me.

Guilin rice noodles came up. The round rice noodles were crystal white and attractive soup. He dug a spoon of pepper and put it down: "eat."

I pick it up and spoon up the soup. It's hot.

All the tastes are the same as before. Eating is like going back to the past. How bitter it was at that time. Lin never wanted to give up.

He ate a big bowl and stared at the empty bowl.

He put the money on the table and pulled me out.

On the way back, it was no longer so empty, and there were more cars.

Life is like this, busy, so around, even do not know why they are so busy, why they live.

But life is so precious that once it is lost, it will never come back. My father left. It hurts me and my mother. My mother left. It hurts me.

If I leave, I know Lin Xia will feel heartache for me, but it's not what I want. Life is always like this. Leave and return to the dust. You don't know anything. The living person is in pain.

The change of traffic lights, that is, a few minutes earlier, or a second earlier, may disappear at Hukou on the road.

There is only a gap between life and death.

I close my eyes, what is love, love wants its life, hate wants its death.

Because he is not here, do I want to give up my own life? What is my suffering?

Close your eyes and hold on to your hands.

It's not too early to get home. Change your clothes and take some cream to make your skin look better.

I took the books and went to school as usual, listening to the explanation, but I knew I couldn't listen to a word

Will he also become my past wound? It will be very painful at the beginning, but it will get better after a long time.

Maybe, what we need is time to make up for the injury in our heart slowly.

My quiet, let Lin Xia breathe a sigh of relief, will not look at me everywhere, class, class, eat, sleep.

Ji Zhixian called me when she came back, and I said to Lin Xia, "Lin Xia, Zhixian will fly to Beijing at three o'clock tomorrow afternoon."

He said softly, "well, I'll take you tomorrow."

"OK." answered.

Take a bath and go to bed. Even if you don't sleep in the middle of the night, you can't sleep during the day. You're in a good spirit.

He saw it in his eyes, hurt in his heart, and thought of ways to let he ma make all kinds of things I like to eat, but I only ate one bite and didn't want to eat.

He didn't go to class in the afternoon. He asked me to take a nap and wake me up at two o'clock.