Chapter 227 - The Alternate Reality

The golden rays of the evening sun, caressed Li Juan's soft skin as she remained seated on the couch in the modestly decorated counselling room.

She raised her teary eyes and looked at the amicable woman who sat across her.

The huge stone that was placed on her chest has lifted and Li Juan felt that she could finally breathe again,

Though half of her life she used to live with the help of medicines under the care of imminent doctors, it was her first time meeting a psychologist.

Truth to be told, she never considered consulting a therapist, however, at the brink of breaking down, she chose the right thing and sought medical assistance,

"How do you feel now, Li Juan?" Wan Qiwen, her psychologist asked in a soft voice,

"Hmmm, better," Li Juan replied and wiped the tears that ran down her cheeks with a tissue, 

She came to talk about the chaos inside her head, however, never ever she imagined that the conversation will end up in tears.

The corners of Wan Qi wen's lips perched up into a tender smile as she listened more, 

"Do you think there is something-" Li Juan repeated the question that has been flashing in her mind for a while, however, even before she could complete, Wan Qi Wen interrupted her. 

"Wrong with you? No," The psychologist completed her words and took a moment before continuing,

"But, rather than calling you wrong, I would like to use the term "different," Wan Qi Wen rephrased and corrected Li Juan who curiously sat listening to her,

"Your way of perceiving situations, the things happening in your life and your interpretations of them is slightly different from others. But that doesn't mean that you are wrong and the good news is that several people like you exist among us," She paused and studied the confused look on Li Juan's face,

"Like me?" She repeated in a hoarse voice,

"Hmmm...Li Juan, will it be alright if I call Lee Tae Yang inside? I think it's better than discussing within ourselves," Wan Qi Wen suggested and pushed her glasses that slid down to the tip of her nose, "But only if you are comfortable with it,"

"Please, go ahead, doctor," Li Juan agreed and wiped her eyes once again in a vague effort to eliminate the traces of her tears from Lee Tae Yang. 

Wan Qiwen picked up the intercom and called the receptionist to pass the information to Li Juan's bystander who was waiting outside,

Within few minutes, a faint knock was heard on the door and Lee Tae Yang's charming figure appeared on the door step

"Please take a seat, Dr Lee," Wan Qiwen offered a seat next to Li Juan as she invited him to join them,

Lee Tae Yang silently glanced at Li Juan for a split second and sat on the couch with a face brimming in confusion and worry,

"There is no need to worry, I just thought it is better to include you as well, like a friendly conversation," Wen Qiwen tried to ease his tensed demeanour that was wide visible and continued in a placid tone,

"Which one was your favourite bedtime story while you were a child?" 

Hearing a random question from the psychologist, Lee Tae Yang's gaze subconsciously turned to Li Juan, wondering whether the question is directed to him or not,

"My question is for both of you," Wan Qiwen added with a smile and went on talking about her favourite bedtime story, giving them a kickstart,

"Mine was little mermaid. When I was a child, I was absolutely fascinated by her fishtail and even bought a mermaid suit to goes around pretending that I'm a mermaid," She paused to peer at the couple who were still reluctant to speak and picked one of them, 

"What about you, Dr Lee?" 

"I listened to the stories of dragons while I was a child," Lee Tae Yang answered enthusiastically, as he recalled one of his favourite childhood memories that remained intact. 

"Celestial dragons or earthly dragons?" Wan Qi Wen sounded curious as she spoke,

"I liked both," 

"And you, Li Juan," She tilted her head and sought an answer from the woman who appeared as if she is lost in thoughts, "Which is your favourite bedtime story?" 

"Li Ji and the serpent also the ballad of Hua Mulan," Li Juan stated without any delay,

"You might've heard about the story of Hua Mulan, but have you heard the story of Li Ji and the serpent, Mr Lee?" Wan Qi Wen shot her question to him, to which he replied with a firm "No"

"Can you tell us that story, Li Juan?" 

Hearing Wan Qi Wen's demand, it didn't even take a moment for Li Juan recite the story which she loved as a child,

"Back in the day, there was a giant serpent lived in the mountain and he used to eat young maidens from the village situated on the foot of the mountain. Though the villagers tried to stop him, none of them was able to succeed. They feared the serpent's wrath might bring calamities upon the village and sacrificed young maidens from the lowly births such as peasants and slaves for the beast. During that time, in the Li household of the village lived "Li Ji" along with her six sisters. Since her father had no sons, she considered it won't make any difference that she lived or died, so she volunteered to sacrifice herself to the serpent. She went to the mountain with a sword, a hunting dog and sweet rice balls. She kept the riceballs at the entrance of the cave and lured the serpent out of its cave. When the serpent came outside to eat sweet rice balls, she unleashed the dog to attack him. While the serpent was distracted by the dog, Li Ji killed the beast and came back to the village as a hero," 

Li Juan concluded and looked at her psychologist who was all ears to her story,

"Is there any particular reason why you liked this story?" Wan Qi Wen inquired as soon as Li Juan concluded,

"Li Ji and Li Juan, as a child it was intriguing for me that there is a heroic character who has a name similar to mine," She replied rather in a serious tone,

"And I'm sure you tried to pretend as Li Ji," Wan Qi Wen made a remark that is based on everyone's childhood fantasy.

"Hua Mulan depicts the story of a girl who dresses up as a male warrior and goes to the war instead of her father. Did you find any common factors present in these stories?" 

"Both of them were heroic women. They came forward and sacrificed themselves to save others. When women were considered as pretty flowers who adorn the household, they did something contradicting and empowering," Li Juan voiced her opinion, 

Wan Qi Wen nodded in agreement and placed her palms over her lap as she prepared to present her inferences. 

"From what I've heard from you, these weren't just bedtime stories. The messages portrayed, the characters, everything in these stories deeply influenced your personality," She pointed out,

"You were the only child of your mother and someone might've said that it would have been great if she had a boy instead of a girl. After all, some people still prefer boys over girls," 

"Hmmm," Li Juan agreed with a hum as she found Wan Qi Wen's statements are accurate,

"In a way or another, the things you heard as a child might have moulded you as a daughter who is no lesser than a son," Wan Qi Wen remarked in an appreciating tone. 

"Xiao Li used to dress up in boy's clothes and fought with boys who teased her," Lee Tae Yang added whatever he heard from Li Juan's mother,

"I used to fight with others and get into trouble all the time, even I had to change schools because of that," Li Juan conceded without any reluctance. "But I restrained myself for the sake of my mother when I become a high schooler,"

"Have you ever broken that word and got into trouble?" 

"I promised her that I would never do something that would get me expelled from the school. So I restrained myself from getting into trouble within the school compound," Li Juan casually stated,

Her casual statement almost made Wan Qi Wen broke into a peal of laughter, 

"But you made sure to hit people who won't affect your reputation at the school, right?" 

"Yes, I really wanted to finish my high school with flying colours and get into a good university. But it didn't happen as I expected," Li Juan mumbled as she kept her eyes downcast,

"You were your own hero until someone else stood up for you,"

When Li Juan heard her psychologist's comment, she abruptly raised her gaze with a tinge of bewilderment,

"Well, it is basic human nature to have feelings for someone who treated you better. However, it didn't end well. The person whom you trusted the most, hurt you and there wasn't anyone to share or talk about what you went through. You were close to your mother, but you restrained yourself from talking about it with her, fearing that you might hurt her and kept enduring it all alone. When your mother found about it, the damage has already done," Wan Qi Wen explained how she perceived Li Juan's experiences as a psychologist.

"I admit that I had difficulty in leading a normal school life," Li Juan opened her mouth to agree with Wan Qi Wen,

"But I don't know what made me jump from the school building. I would never do anything that hurts my mother,"

"You wished to hurt no one but yourself," Wan Qi Wen revealed the truth with a bitter smile,

"Doctor," Li Juan uttered in disbelief and looked at her psychologist as if she heard something incredulous,

"You put others before you and neglected your own hurt self," Wan Qi Wen pointed out, rather in a serious tone. However, on the other hand, Li Juan appeared conflicted by the statement,

"When your mind could no longer handle the stress and pent up emotions, it created its own version of reality and tried to indulge you into it," 

"Are you saying that my own mind played games with me?" Li Juan blurted in confusion and exchanged glances with Lee Tae Yang sat beside her,

"Your mind tried to help you coping with the emotional baggage you always carried," Wan Qi Wen tried to elaborate,

"Tell me, when was the first time you saw the queen?" 

"It was seven years ago. While I was in a vegetative state, I saw that dream and the Queen's plea made me wake up from the coma," Li Juan tried her best to convince,

"Do you know that dreams usually occur during a stage of sleep where our brain activity is high?" Wan Qi Wen asked monotonously to the people who sat before her, 

"Scientifically, we call it REM, Rapid-eye movement, a stage which is similar to the state of being awake. Everyone dreams, from babies to blind people, except people in a coma. To experience or to be able to see a dream, there must be high brain activity which comatose patients usually lack," She paused and pointed at Li Juan,

"And of course, there are exceptions, like you. In your case, the dream that helped you to wake up from the coma was induced by a joint effort of external factors as well as internal stimuli," 

"I...I don't get you, doctor. What kind of external factors?" Li Juan wracked her brain as she listened more to Wan Qi Wen. Whether it is because of her lack of knowledge or muddled mind, she was unable to understand whatever she just heard,

"I think the best person to answer your question is doctor Lee, who happens to be a neurologist and did extensive research about your case," Wan Qi Wen suggested and shifted her gaze to Lee Tae Yang, intending him to carry on,

When everyone's attention turned towards him, Lee Tae Yang let out a sigh and gazed at the woman who sat next to him,

He gently reached out for Li Juan's clenched fist, his deep voice sounded so tender and gentle as he began to spoke,

"When you got admitted to the hospital, you were reported as a comatose patient with very little chance of survival. However, the very same day, you miraculously woke up. Since you were at a growing age, with a high IQ brain, professor Luo made sure to avoid any drug that might alter your brain capacity. But you retrieved your speech and motor abilities within a fortnight, which is quicker when compared to the average rate of recovery in comatose patients. However, it only lasted for a short period and you began to have relapses that eventually worsened your conditions. That's when I started to check your previous medical records and found something crucial,"

Lee Tae Yang stopped and gulped before continuing,

"After your first accident, you were on a heavy dose of drugs that leaves hallucinogenic side effects as if someone purposefully wants to put you into a mentally unhealthy state. You were already in a trance state when you fell from the school building. After few hours of you getting admitted to Neuro ICU, someone tried to kill you by cutting off your oxygen supply. All of your accidents were well-planned attempts to hurt you. But miraculously, you survived every one of them. While you were in a vegetative state, the low oxygen level- "asphyxia" created a series of emergency brain activity as if it is your last chance to survive and you woke up,"'

Lee Tae Yang wrapped up and looked at her curious black eyes, though she understood whatever he said, there was a hue of quandary visible in them,

"But the dream...," Li Juan muttered in a low feeble voice as she struggled to comprehend the heavy burden of information that has dumbed onto her. She was aware of the murder attempts since Tang Wei Sheng admitted his family's wrongdoings. But how it is related to the visions and those dreams?

"You can consider it as a wake-up call," Wan Qi Wen was the one who answered her question,

"Do you remember the alternate reality that I mentioned earlier? You were on the verge of death and your mind played one last trick to help you change," She continued as her eyes remained focused on Li Juan.

"Till that day, you lived as a person with high IQ but low EQ. You were someone who had no idea to deal with an emotional outburst.

You refused to share your thoughts, emotions with someone else or you had no one to rely on. All of those pent up emotions took a toll on your mental state. To save you, your subconscious mind picked up a persona with the qualities and attributes of your favourite characters whom you idolised and created a strong woman in your spitting image,"

Wan Qi Wen's shocking truth struck Li Juan like a thousand bolts of thunders,

The one person whom she always treated as her guardian angel,

The one whom she always looked up as an inspiration to stay alive,

That person turned out to be just a fragment of her unstable mind.