Chapter 226 - Seeking Help

Gu Ying stood at the doorstep of the ancestral hall, observing the conflicted look on the face of the most exceptional medical miracle he has ever seen in his career, aka Li Juan, contemplating the befitting answer for her question.

"Do you believe in past lives and reincarnations?" Her question was simple,

Like anyone else, he could have given her a clear cut answer and conclude the conversation, however for some reason, Gu Ying decided to continue,

He heard a lot about Li Juan as the crowned sovereign head of the Yu clan, as his nephew's fiance. However, he wished to know Li Juan as an ordinary individual. 

"If I say yes, will my answer make you happy?" Gu Ying dotingly asked her,

Li Juan averted her gaze from him and lowered her head to hide the frustration as she started speaking, rather in an infuriated voice,

"Back at home, in the Yu clan, everyone believes that I'm a descendant of the Lunar maiden and the fated mate of the wolf god. In Dai Jinlong palace, everyone treats me and Tae Yang as the reincarnation of a couple who failed to live their life. Among these conflicting beliefs, I can no longer find my true self, like really what the hell I'm supposed to believe?" Li Juan shared her concern. She could have ignored everyone's words and move on with her life, but for some reason, she couldn't. 

"What if both of them are true?" Gu Ying pointed out in a calming tone that gained Li Juan's attention back,

"No matter how fate and destiny play their roles in your life, you are the one who makes the final word by making your own choices," He tried to make her understand the truth that she refuses to believe,

Under the effect of other's opinions and words, Li Juan doubted herself, even though she didn't have to pay attention to any of it,

"Yes, you can be the Lunar maiden and still choose someone other than wolf God. What if you are the reincarnation of Bai Yu Yue? You can fall in love with anyone you want. Whomever you were in your past life that doesn't count...In this life, you are an individual named Li Juan...It's your life, it's your decisions," Gu Ying tried to convince her to accept herself and stop worrying about others,

However, Li Juan remained silent without responding to his words. She was still contemplating over the facts, whether to linger more on to it,

"I know it may be difficult for you to understand it now, take your time. As I said earlier if you are finding it difficult don't hesitate to seek medical assistance," Gu Ying suggested with a smile,

Suddenly, his gaze fell on the familiar silhouette of his nephew who was striding towards the ancestral hall,

"Anyway, Xiao Li, if you want any help, please feel free to contact me and as for now, why don't you go inside? Gu Ying proposed and turned in the direction of the giant door of the hall,

"Your aunt is overseeing the arrangements of the ceremony, why don't you go and lend her some help?" He let Li Juan enter the ancestral hall as he stood outside waiting to have a word with his nephew.

He had a bunch of questions to ask Lee Tae Yang and also had few things to inform,

"Good morning, uncle," Lee Tae Yang pleasantly greeted as he approached Gu Ying.

His handsome face was brightened up like summer sun, beaming with happiness and joy,

However, when he noticed the contemplative look on Gu Ying's face, he sensed something amiss,

"Uncle, what's wrong?" Lee Tae Yang inquired, his obsidian orbs narrowed as he spoke,

"Tae Yang, just give me an answer," Gu Ying avoided the words of pleasantries and interrogated him right away, "Were you aware of Li Juan's mental state?" 

As soon as his uncle's words reached his ears, Lee Tae Yang figured out that there is nothing to hide anymore,

"Hmm," He agreed without any hesitations,

"And why didn't you get her an appointment with a psychologist?" Gu Ying crossed his arms over his chest and harshly questioned the other,

From the conversation he had with Li Juan, it was evident that she was struggling to appear normal and blend herself with the crowd,

As a doctor, it was even more shocking for him to know that nobody figured out that Li Juan is having trouble coping with her problems,

"I believed that I could change her...with our child...I believed that a sense of family...would restore her deteriorating mental health...but I-" Lee Tae Yang's words broke as he tried to admit the truth,

As someone who remained with Li Juan for a long time, he was the very first person to detect her fragile mental health. He wished to help her and as they started to live together, he somehow managed to stabilize her condition,

However, the loss of their child has reverted her state of being into something even worse than before,

Gu Ying let out a sigh and grabbed his nephew's shoulder as a comforting gesture,

He could sense the pain and agony in the young man's eyes as Lee Tae Yang restrained himself from breaking down.

The child was their last beacon of hope and just like how he blamed himself for their child's death, Li Juan held herself accountable for the tragedy that befell them.

"I know you love her and wants to give her the happiness and love that she deserves. But son, right now, more than anything else in the world, Li Juan needs medical help. She must realize what exactly is wrong with her. That is the only way she can lead a peaceful life," Gu Ying advised the man who remained silent with guilt,

"Talk to her. I'm sure that she will listen to you,"

"I'm scared, uncle," Lee Tae Yang mumbled in a low voice, "I'm scared that the moment she knows the truth, I might lose her again. She...she will leave me,"

"That's how you thought of Li Juan?" Gu Ying probed with a pair of bewildered eyes,

"I don't want to lose her again," Lee Tae Yang's gaze darted here and there, as he recalled the struggle both of them had to experience in the last few years,

He doesn't want to endure such an agonizing experience once again,

"Tae Yang, look at me," Gu Ying hollered and tried to gain the attention of the man who was mumbling like a madman,

"Li Juan started to realize that something is wrong with her," He reminded Lee Tae Yang who stood there with a befuddled look,

"She knows it,"

"She knows it?" Lee Tae Yang repeated in incredulous disbelief as his eyeballs shook in fear,

"Yes, she asked me about the possibilities of an altered mental state after numerous brain injuries," Gu Ying informed the most important point he picked up from his conversation with Li Juan,

"It's time, son. Xiao Li needs to know the truth,"

Listening to Gu Ying's words, Lee Tae Yang ruminated over the things that inhibited himself from discussing the truth with Li Juan,

His love for her, the insecurities he holds in his heart has always restrained him from hurting not only her but also people around Li Juan.

"Hmmm, I will talk to her," Lee Tae Yang finally broke the chain of his thoughts and agreed to do whatever he can to help Li Juan,

"I can understand why you are scared of confronting the truth. But Li Juan is no longer the teenager who would leave you fearing that she might hurt you. She has grown up and matured enough to understands the feelings of people who love her. She is better than before," Gu Ying consoled him and led Lee Tae Yang inside the ancestral hall,

In the far end of the large hall, Li Juan stood next to the altar, checking out the various ancestral tablets arranged on the altar. 

Lee Tae Yang dawdled towards her in steady steps and stopped in an armlength away from Li Juan as he gazed at the woman immersed in the sight of the symbols of the Guan dynasty's glorious pedigree,

He stood there looking at her slender figure, a throbbing pain rising from the depths of his heart,

Will they ever be able to lead a peaceful life together?

After a few moments, Li Juan let out a sigh as she turned to leave and noticed the man stood behind her, silently,

"When did you arrive, Yangyang?" She sounded perplexed as she inquired. She was immersed in reading the names of the ancestors and failed to recognize that someone was standing next to her.

As he gazed at her gorgeous face gleaming with joy, the tightened corners of Lee Tae Yang's mouth gradually relaxed into a tender smile,

"Just a moment ago," He replied and took a step towards her, closing the distance between them,

"Xiao Li, did you get any calls from your grandpa or Zhi Jun?" 

"Actually, I dropped a message to first brother and begged him to keep my visit as a secret from grandpa. Otherwise, I'm going to get an earful for driving all the way to H city," Li Juan giggled at her own reckless actions that lead her to Dai Jinlong palace.

"Your grandpa knows that you are here," Lee Tae Yang closed his eyes for a moment and uttered as if he is confessing a harmless mistake,

"What?" Li Juan almost squealed. After her abduction, Bai Qi took serious measures to ensure her safety and made sure to send at least two bodyguards whenever she leaves the palace. Since she knew how hellbound her guards when it comes to her safety, she didn't dare to face them after sneaking out of the hotel,

"But how?"

"Yesterday the place where I accompanied grandpa...turned out to be Yu palace, you know...to officially propose the wedding and look for a suitable date," Lee Tae Yang admitted in a flustered tone,

Li Juan was at loss of words as she listened to him speak about their marriage,

While she only thought about getting married, he has already moved ahead and planned their wedding with both of their families

"Are you angry at me for visiting your grandpa without informing you?" Lee Tae Yang asked doubtingly,

"No...no..absolutely not," Li Juan revealed a charming smile as she replied and reached out to grab his arm,

"I admit that we are little late to tie the knot," She whispered in his ears like a secret,

Lee Tae Yang gave her an agreeing nod and tangled his fingers with hers,

"Last night, were you trying to tell me about this before I came up with the story of reincarnation?" She asked him in a mellow voice, her eyes sparkling like diamonds as she gazed at the man who meant the world for her.

"Hmm," Lee Tae Yang hummed and shifted his eyes to the altar where the ancestral tablets were arranged, 

"I thought you might need some more time," He uttered and unknowingly glanced at Li Juan's flat abdomen, memories of their little bean flooding back into his mind.

Even though Lee Tae Yang spoke anything, Li Juan could sense the sorrow that eating him alive,

"Our baby...she promised to meet us again, Yangyang...she asked me to wait for her...with you," Li Juan struggled to find the right words to console him when her heart quivered in the surging pain, turning her into a hysterical state,

"She...she requested you to not blame...yourself...she said she will meet us,"

Unable to endure it anymore, Lee Tae Yang grabbed Li Juan's shaking shoulders and tried to stop her from spouting some of her hallucinations, 

"Enough!!!" He mumbled in utmost difficulty, "Please, stop it,"

"Yangyang, our baby-" Li Juan rattled the same line,

"Our baby is gone!!!!" Lee Tae Yang pressed her shoulders and roared in pain, "We lost our baby...please understand it,"

Taken aback by his change of demeanour, Li Juan rendered speechless for a moment,

What did she just say to him?

Just a while ago, she was arguing whether reincarnations are real or it is just her frenzy brain try to fool her with hallucinations.

"It's just you and me, Xiao Li, please...please understand that something-" Lee Tae Yang's words of consolation broke when Li Juan raised her palm, intending him to stop.

All of sudden, the chaos in her mind vanished, except for one question,

"What if her doubt was real?"

"Yangyang," She uttered in a low, yet clear voice, the rims of her large black eyes turning red as a small drop of tear rolled down her cheeks,

"Will you take me to a psychologist?"