Chapter 152 - Please Give Me An Answer

Crown Prince Felix Valestra was standing still, staring out of the window. The trees and flowers which surround the royal family villa created a mesmerizing view yet his face didn't hint at any positive things.

Lifeless yet tired eyes, a broken heart, the face he made was as if the world was over for him. He had no resemblance to the once confident and powerful Crown Prince. Gone were the eyes that used to twinkle with mirth, they were replaced by the eyes of a man who was knocked down by the cruelty of this world!

"The number of my nightmares are the highest these days. No medication can prevent this. I can't sleep or eat. Even if I fall asleep for just a few minutes, that dreary reality would haunt me, making me lose my sleep." He narrowed his eyes at the floor and clenched his teeth in pain. "I feel like I'm dying."

He slowly turned around and looked at the young man who was sitting on the couch, carefully hearing him out. "Do you think I will be able to be the same again, doctor?" He muttered.

Dr. Antonio Givani seemed to be troubled by something. After keeping his silence for a while, he looked up at the Prince. "I will give my all to help you, Your Highness. But for that, you must tell me all the details. What start your depression? How did you cope with it? Why did it become serious now? What triggered your nightmares?"

"I'm a psychiatrist, Your Highness. Whatever you say, is safe with me. We can't make this work if you can't place your trust on me." He added when he noticed the reluctance on the Prince's face.

This young psychiatrist was Matthew's cousin. After attempting a few times, Matthew finally persuaded the Prince to get some counselling from his cousin. Dr. Antonio Givani was only 30 years old but he was one of the best psychiatrists in Edeladon.

After quietly standing still for a while, Felix walked towards the doctor and sat on the couch opposite to him. "I used to have a woman whom I deeply loved while I was in college." He started.

"But... I was young and spoiled. It's my first time experiencing such a feeling and I was lost. I don't know how to act warm or loving. I don't know how to express my love. As such, I often come off as a cold lover."

"Time passed by and due to some tricks of outside force, I was often blinded by jealousy. We get into many arguments and I made her life miserable."

"What happened to her?" Dr. Antonio asked. Though the Prince was narrowing his eyes at the floor the whole time, he was carefully reading his every expression. Guilt. That's what he saw the whole time.

Felix sat still, nervously pressing his fingers together. "One day, our argument was tense and severe than ever. She tried her best to placate my rage but... I left her apartment as I was overwhelmed with anger. That night, I received a call from her but I refused to answer. I finally picked up on the third time."

"Then I hear her crying. At that time, fear crept into my whole body. She didn't say anything and hang up the call. I was so anxious, so I rushed to her apartment." Felix wiped his face but still, his gaze was fixated on the floor. "It's been four years, but I never once forget how she was lying on the floor, covered by blood. She was murdered."

It's the first time Felix told his story with the exact details. Yes, this was the truth. The last time he saw her alive, he was angry at her. Even when she tried to stop him from leaving, he refused to listen to her.

During the last four years, he often wondered what would happen if he wasn't stubborn and answered her first call. Will he get on time then? Guilt was killing him each day! Now, he realized that she was murdered because of him! How was he supposed to live on?!

"You think that she died because of you and that haunts you until now." Dr. Antonio said and Felix nodded.

"What happened after that?"

Felix felt too ashamed to speak about what happened after that but... he must do it if he wanted to be healed. He knew that someone was waiting for him. He must recover and return to her no matter what!

"My parents were afraid that I would be in trouble as I was just a college student at that time. So, they send the guards to dragged me home and I was locked up for days. Throughout my life, there was no time that was as tormenting as those days."

"What about the woman's case?"

"Because she was an orphan with no family, she was buried after a small funeral. The case was concluded as a suicide. Besides, no one was there to pushed forward the investigation. She died a lonely death, with no one mourning for her." Felix paused and glanced at the doctor.

"You might remember the case. Four years ago, a college student who was an orphan was found dead in her home. It was concluded as a suicide because they found a suicide note. The case of the Ciza Apartment."

Dr. Antonio thought about it and recalled the case. He realized that there was a Ciza Apartment case years ago. It shocked the whole country because the person who died was a young orphan who worked hard to support herself. But after it was announced that it was suicide, people forget about the case very soon.

The Crown Prince was related to the young orphan? No one would think about this! Though the doctor was flustered, he didn't show it. Instead, he remained professional and focused on his patient, the Crown Prince.

"Have you ever seek psychological consultation after what happened?" He asked the Prince.

"No. I just tried hard to cope with it. I don't believe that she took her own life. As such, catching the culprit and avenge her became my only goal in life. I was able to live on because of that goal." It was like that until he met Yelena. She brought colours to his dark world.

"Your Highness, you neglect your mental wounds and left them untreated for many years. Now, it has acted up but... do you achieve your goal?" The doctor carefully observed the haggard-looking Prince. "Given your current condition, there must be some recent events that trigger or add your trauma." He assumed.

Felix bit his lip and maintained his silence for a few seconds. After what seemed to be forever, he finally spoke up. "There is."

Taking a deep breath, he told the doctor all the things that happened in the past few days - the betrayal and death of his most trusted man, the abduction of his fiancee, Alonzo's evil deeds which hurt him the most.

"My cousin whom I grew up with, killed my ex-lover and disguised it as a suicide. Now, he abducted my fiancee and hurt her. If I don't find out his true nature that night... " He closed his eyes, being haunted by the worst thing possible. "My fiancee will be dead. I don't think I'll be able to survive that, not again."

"After what my cousin did, I'm too ashamed to face my fiancee and her family. It's my fault for not realizing Alonzo's true nature sooner. My fiancee's father wants me to leave her so that I won't put her in danger. I know that will be the best but I'm still filled with greed. I can't bear to part with her, so... I promised her to return once I recover. But I don't even know how to heal myself."

"What is on your mind when you return to Edeladon?" Dr. Antonio asked.

Felix recalled the tormenting 6 hours he spent on the plane. "Her father's words repeatedly echoed in my ears. 'If your love killed my daughter, what will you do?' 'Your feelings put her in danger.' 'Sometimes, love is not everything.' 'You said you love her, then you should know what to do.' It's driving me crazy."

"Do you know what is most tormenting, doctor?" Felix paused and glanced at the engagement ring on his hand. "I know that her father has a point. All his words make sense and he only wants the best for his only daughter but... I'm still selfish. I cannot give up on her because she's my life. Without her, I'm good as dead. I'll be in a living hell, so I'd rather die than live on like that."

"Please give me an answer, doctor. Her father said that love is not everything. If that's the case, why do I always suffer because of it? If it's that easy to give up, why do I always find myself being unable to do that?"