Chapter 45 - Sniffing Away Out Problems.

Lance.

He is upset. 

I can't tell. 

But I don't know how to ask him because I don't want to upset him more. I can't wait for the day he would want to talk to me about his problems. It should be easy, being in a relationship with someone and wanting to talk to that person. 

At least it is pretty easy for me. 

I see him and I want to be an open book with him, I want him to explore all my pages. My worries, what makes me happy, what makes me sad. How much I fucking love him. 

I can't expect him to be the same. he is a different person. I fell in love with him for him, I just want a lot more closeness from him. 

''Hey,'' he welcomes me into his arms. I rest my head on his right shoulder as he wraps his arms around my waist. I stay in his arms for a couple of seconds as I take him in. He smells like vanilla. I have come to register that scent to him. there is always a hint of vanilla in him. over his cologne when he is sweaty. That vanilla scent always remains there. 

My nostrils flare up as I sniff for more of him. he pulls back from my arms and raises a brow with a grin ''Did you just sniff me?'' 

I nod with a bright smile. I am proud of my creepiness. Yes, I sniffed my boyfriend and I would do it again. 

''Why,'' he asks with a chuckle. 

I shrug and pull him closer; he looks down at me with amusement etched to his face. All the worries of him not being okay, dissipate. I don't want to talk about what is bothering him, because I don't want it to upset him. I want to go on this date with him and be happy all through. Spending time with him is enough to put a smile on my face all night.

''Cause you smell delicious.'' 

My answer is honest and from the expression on his face, I can tell that he likes it. He bends forward and I watch him as he places his face in the crook of my neck. I feel the butterflies as they dance around my stomach. My body reacts to him passionately. I don't know what he wants to do until the moment he takes a deep breath and sniffs the hell out of me. his nose stays pressed to my neck after and I wait for the revelation. My hands clutch the hems of his shirt at the bottom. I never want to let him go. 

''So, how do I smell?'' I mutter after a couple of seconds of silence. 

He pulls away from me to look at me, but I still hold him by his waist. I have gotten so used to touching Ford. Now, not touching him is weird for me. 

''Uh… I don't know if I can top delicious. Maybe addictive. Like sniffing you is not enough,'' he leans into me again and whispers in my ear ''I need a taste.''

I feel his tongue as he grazes the edge of my neck and shivers crawl up my skin. He is teasing me because he doesn't do more than just the lick and my body is not satisfied. I pull him closer to me to the point where our bodies press against each other, leaving no room for space. He reacts to this immediately as I feel him harden against me. his face is still so close to my ear, so I hear the muffles of his breath ''We have to leave soon,'' he groans with so much frustration in his voice. 

The perfect date with him would just be in bed, watching old movies. I wish we didn't have to go out to get this privacy but that is the whole point of a secret relationship. No one can know about us, if we stay here in my house, we would get caught. 

I don't even know with my mom; she spends most of her time with John. The only times she comes home is to check up on me to make sure I am still alive. 

I wish she could just leave me in this house after our move. I am seventeen, I would be old enough to live on my own soon. I really don't want to move into Ford's house. We could have this house to ourselves. It would be the best thing for us right now.

Too bad mom wants to act like a happy family. Like somehow I can have the father figure, I never had. 

She doesn't understand that I don't want a replacement for my father. He will always be my father, no matter what happened. 

''Do you want to just stay home and we could continue this in bed?'' I suggest in hopes that he will agree to it. 

I have always been anti-social, the kind of person that would rather stay at home than go out in the public. Ford seems like the type that would rather go out than stay in the confinements of his four walls. I know that he is fighting a lot of demons that he doesn't want to talk about. I want to be the solace he needs to kick their butts. I will fight with him until there are only smiles on his face. 

I don't mind being the one that takes away his sadness. 

I volunteer as tribute. 

''We can't, baby. I have the whole thing planned. Dinner at a fancy restaurant, a walk around a park, night in a five-star hotel. Come on. Let's be normal for once.''

His words confuse me. he is trying to compensate for something and that confuses me. 

''Do you think our relationship is not normal?'' 

He shakes his head immediately with a guilty expression. He didn't mean to say that words, I can see it in his eyes. But it is out there and I want to know what he is thinking. 

''That's not what I meant. I just want to treat you specially. You are my everything. I want to show it to the world. Granted, we will be going somewhere no one knows us, but I want people to see how in love we are with each other. I want to flaunt you to the world.''

I blush at his words and my heart can't help but feel heavy. I would've convinced Ford to come out of the closet if his dad was not getting married to my mom. Being gay is his vice. I know he wishes he didn't have to be gay. There is this stigma in his head. He feels guilty as hell for loving someone of the same gender, I wish I could help him be proud of who he is but we can't do anything for now. I have to wait until we are old enough to be independent. Old enough to make our own decisions and then I will show him, how loving someone can never be wrong. 

I just have to be patient. 

''I love you,'' I press my lips to his for a soft kiss and he welcomes me by holding me tighter. 

We are in my room and I am dressed for this date but looking at him and how fancy he looks in his black pants and navy blue and white checkered shirt. I think I dressed wrong. 

''I don't think I am dressed okay for this date,'' I pull apart and he examines me with a goofy smile. 

I am dressed in one of my most worn jeans and a plain black shirt. With my all-time favourite Adidas sneakers. He talked about a fancy restaurant. Is this outfit fancy restaurant attire?

''You look good to me.'' he adjusts my shirt for me. 

I roll my eyes because Ford always does this. ''You look like a fucking sex god. I look like your driver.'' 

He laughs the kind of laugh that is genuine and comes from the heart ''You don't look like my driver. George wears designer suits.'' 

I remember George the driver from the first time I met John and yeah, he was in a one-piece suit and it looked fucking expensive.

''So, who do I look like?'' 

He smiles ''You look like Lance, my boyfriend. The man of my dreams. The one who doesn't have to dress too fancy to look sexy as hell.'' 

His words are like drugs to me, addictive and dangerous for my heart. How can someone be so smooth with words? 

''Let's get out of here before I rip your clothes off,'' I warn him and grab my wallet from my work table. Putting my wallet in my jean pocket, he chuckles. 

We walk out of the door and to his car, he opens to the door for me but plants a peck on my lips. 

''I plan to rip those clothes off you. No doubt about that.''

With that, he winks and starts the car. 

My heart dances in my chest. 

Suddenly I am looking forward to this date. 

Hell yeah.