Chapter 154 - Dumbfounded

Noah's POV

"Why you didn't tell me? You made me believed those lies on my head, are you fucking kidding me?!"

I gritted my teeth, holding my emotions to slide out of my body. The most important thing that can save our friendship, he choose to set aside just for what?

Fuck. I don't know what to feel now. Should be happy because he didn't really continue his affair with her or should I be angry because he hide it from me?

"I j-just felt really g-guilty and I don't want y-you to forgive me i-instantly.."

The emotions in his eyes plays a huge break inside me. If he just tell me about it, my anger wouldn't last long like this.

I could've forgive him when I'm ready...

"And you just let everything go to waste, huh? Is that what you want? You fucking let me hate you in my entire being!" I shouted.

"But I did that because I betrayed you, Noah! I was fucking blinded with my guilt and I don't know how to cope up with it!"

"You should've at least tell the truth! Not like this! Not like I was the one who made this harder for you!"

"I tried. But I can't.."

"You're just a pathetic asshole who cannot face his fucking hardship in life. You're a coward and a fucking pretender!"

"I know.." He looked away. "I'm sorry."

I clenched my jaw and started to dug my eyes deeper onto his. The fist that I've been holding for awhile was already free from the control now.

I punched his face for the first time. I badly need this. He fucking did this to me. We're both so pathetic now. He tried to hide the truth and I was miserable with all those lies that I chose to believe.

Damn this.

I immediately gripped his collar and placed leaned to face him closer. My hand was shaking so bad that I almost punch him again.

I'm angry because I was dumbfounded.. I made him feel like it's his fault alone.

That he never really cared for me..

"Please..f-forgive me.." He cried.

He put his hands together and clasped it like he's asking for another chance.

Fuck.

"Get up,"

"But--"

"Get up or I'll never forgive you," I said which made him stand up.

I wanted to end this gap between us. We've been through a lot. He suffered with his own guilt and sacrifices. And I also suffered with my misery that I don't know how to get through..

"This may sound surprising but I already forgave you long time ago.." I tore my eyes away from him, still avoiding his corny stares. "You had the chance but you never came and beg for another forgiveness, you idiot. Was that hard to do?!"

His mouth parted in shock. The room filled with silence until he realized what I've said. Happiness coated those stream tears behind those eyes.

"Really?" He wiped his mouth.

"I don't repeat my words, asshole!"

But I was surprised when he suddenly waggle his hands on the air and acted like he goal something.

Fuck, he looked stupid.

"Stop it. I can't stand seeing you like a fucking stupid asshole," I scowled.

"Thank you so much, man!"

He bumped my arm while smiling, I glared at him instantly for that. We're not that close like before how dare he try to act like we're close enough.

I roll my eyes and turned my head at his bookshelves inside. Shawn is a bookworm which actually the same as Raine. They're alike in this kind of field.

I felt the bitterness on my smile when I remember her.

"Have you already tell Raine that you actually knew her?"

His question made a huge impact on my entire body. I feel like all the blood all through my body was drained.

I was also stiffed with my position. My hands start to tremble and I don't know how to stop it.

"N-not yet," I closed my eyes and swallowed hard. "And she will never know.."

I opened my eyes and stared at his blue green eyes that was also filled with sadness.

I stood up and brushed my hair upwards and arranged my black jacket. I feel like I need to go now.

"I had to leave. There's a client that was waiting for me." I forced a smile.

"Sure, man." He smiles. "Hope you find the way out."

His words seemed like it has a double meaning. It looks like he wanted to say that I must find the way out for this. For everything..

I just nodded and headed outside. I had my leave and started the engine. I don't know where to go so I just drive.

I'll just consider this a luck when I arrived safe. I just feel so weak. His question earlier keeps repeating inside my head. It's fucking bugging me like a deadly threat.

But then, I heard my phone rang. I used the wireless earphones to connect with the caller and pressed the answer button. It's Adrian.

"Hello," I answered.

"You have an important meeting with Mr. Dawson, Sir."

"Where?"

"He's probably on the North Cascades now," I pulled off the break. "He said he's on the way there."

I immediately turned off the call and started the engine again. Of all the places, why would that old man choose to go there! Now that I'm thinking about her, I'll be going to the place where I had a memories of her.

Fuck this life!

I diverted all my frustration on the steering wheel. The sky just won't let me breathe for a short period of time, huh? How pathetic.

Raine's POV

"Are you still going with me tomorrow?"

Jacob asked while we're walking on the way through our building. It's still early that's why we decided to just walk.

"Ah, you mean. The beach thing?" I asked.

He immediately nodded and his face looked so tensed with it.

"It's your treat, right?"

"Of course. I know you wouldn't go if not," He rolled his eyes.

I chuckled and stopped in front of the building. We're already here though. It feels so fast.

"I'll go," I smiled.

His face enlightened for that. He seemed like he just got a candy from me. What a cute guy!

"I'll pick you up tomorrow, tell your friends to pack their things and yours okay?" He reminded, still holding my hand.

He's been holding it for awhile now. I actually don't mind it. It's just feels odd because the feeling wasn't like how he used to hold me before.

I feel like I was being burned with his touches. It was odd really..

"I'll go now, you should take a grab. I told you to just go home earlier but you're this stubborn--"

"It's fine, Raine. I told you, I'm not going to let you go home alone," He chuckled.

"I'm not a little girl, duh!"

"Even so!"

I just pouted and pulled my hand from his grip. His brows moved but I immediately took a step backwards and waved my hand at him.

"Take care! See you tomorrow,"

I continues to waved at him. I felt thankful that he came to block the big wall that keeps breaking me earlier.

He's like a hero to me.

"Good night, Raine. Thanks for your time!" He waved back.

"I forgot to say congratulations! I know you can win it really," I winked at him and he just laughed.

After that I immediately headed towards our unit to wash up. I felt so dirty for wasting my time today. That's why I immediately went inside my bathroom to take a shower.

It didn't last long since I felt so cold inside. My body was shaking with the cold temperature.

Damn.

I bit my lower lip and run towards my room to change. It's so cold, gosh!

I laughed when I realized how fast I get changed right now. I was already my pajamas and my oversized hoodies.

I applied my skincare after that and checked my phone. I saw a text message from Jacob saying that he already got home and I don't have to worry. I chuckled because I didn't even tell him that.

I just replied him a smile and fall to sleep.

When I woke up in the morning, I didn't expect that my friends are already gathered together, wearing their luggage and thick coats.

Sam was the one who wakes and me now I'm rushing to take a bath. They said that we can't make Jacob wait so I just had no choice but to do what they say.

Ugh! Waking in the morning is really the hardest!

"You need to be pretty today. Come here, I'll be in charge with your make up!" Sam grinned and placed me on infront of my dressing table.

"I cooked breakfast so eat it before we go, okay?" Jessy said.

"What about you? Did you eat already?"

Gia nodded. "We already eat without you,"

I just pouted for that. They even eat without me, huh?

But my attention diverted with their outfits. I laughed when my eyes turned to Jessy who looked like se overdo her clothes.

"You're not sure you're excited for this, huh?" I chuckled.

"Of course we are!" They all shouted.

I just laughed and waited for Sam to finished my make up and when she's done. I immediately had my breakfast and get change. I just wore a floral dress, revealing my cleavage and pair it with a denim jacket. I also placed some sunglasses around my eyes and a heels.

I'll just take it off once we arrived at the shore. I'm sure I'll be missing it.

"Where are we going?" Jessy asked excitedly as we entered Jacob's car.

"North Cascades." Jacob winked at them and turned to me.

Seriously?!

My mouth parted with that. I didn't know that we're going there, oh my god!

"Jacob, you looked good today!" Jessy gave him a thumbs up.

Jacob was just wearing a white beach button down dress, revealing his chest and a khaki board shorts. He paired it with some white sneakers which really suits him. He's also wearing a black sunglasses!

He looked like a total celebrity!

We drove all the way to Jennie and Marco's apartment. I was the one who sat on the shotgun seat and everyone was grinning on me now.

When we already fetched them, I was thankful that they already got along well. Thank God, Jennie was also talkative!

We arrived the North Cascades after 4 hours. My head was a bit stiffed but it's fine as soon as I took a step on the land where I was born.

Oh God.

I don't know but he's the one that sink inside on mind once I looked at the shore in front of me.

This feeling was killing me. Those memories with him filled my mind and I don't know how to get over it now.

"I think I saw Noah,"

I felt some goosebumps as soon as Sam whispered it on my right ear. What did she say?

Our eyes met and this time, worries filled her whole face.

"He's here, Raine.."

Fuck.

To be continued..