Chapter 467 - The End Is Never The End

"I am Togae, the creator of Purgatory," the entity introduced himself, holding his ever-present smile.

"Creator…?" He huffed out, still holding his chest. 

He watched as the colossal being adjusted himself on his skyscraper-sized throne, leaning his chin atop his sable knuckles. 

"That's right. Purgatory is the world I've created: my recreation of Gaia—though I've taken a few liberties of my own."

"A few…? This place is hell!" He yelled out.

Facing the one who was indirectly responsible for the suffering he endured, he felt an indistinct anger that quickly dwindled the previous, freezing fear he experienced.

Togae simply chuckled low, "A hell you've surmounted, Ren Nakamaura. There is no victory without trial." 

As he stood there, a question arose in his mind that he had to speak. Even in the face of the all-powerful creator, the question boiled inside of him with an infuriating curiosity. 

"Why was Belmon here?" 

He asked through a shaky voice; just mentioning their existence stirred the unsavory memories. 

Togae remained silent for a moment before responding, "Why? I believe you found that answer for yourself."

"What…? Are you talking about me? That's not what I'm asking! If you're the "all-powerful god" of this hell, then how did they get in?!" He shouted, clenching his chest. 

Even though the enigmatic creator possessed no ocular organs, he could hear that gaze speaking a million words in its enigmatic form, backed by his unfading smile.

"You are basing this question on a false assumption, Ren Nakamura."

"What?…"

"All are allowed to enter Purgatory. I do not discriminate—I welcome. If you're asking if they broke the rules of this realm, then I ask you—what laws do you believe I govern? This is a realm of opportunity, Ren Nakamura. I simply exist as a spectator; nothing more," Togae's bellowing answer met his ears unsatisfyingly. 

Keeping silent for a minute, he looked down at his bandaged hands as a certain rage bubbled through his eyesight. 

But, he composed himself—reminding himself why he was there. 

"…Whatever. Where's my—"

"Reward?" Togae finished his question before he could fully utter it, "Worry not; you've earned that much."

The inhuman colossus continued to smile as he looked down at the minuscule human. 

"I want my wish…" 

He clenched his fists as he said this; it was the moment of ultimate truth for him. 

Everything thus far was simply speculation; there was no guarantee of anything. 

"Then name it: your desire," Togae told him.

Being prompted to state it, he found himself at a loss for words for a freezing moment as he looked up at the inhuman deity. 

It was all but confirmed: it was possible. 

Given such a decision to make, a variety of thoughts naturally flooded his human mind. It was a moment where he held complete, and absolute, boundless possibilities in his own decision. 

At that time, he realized something–a thought that had occurred to him a few times throughout his time in Purgatory. 

It's not just them–I can bring him back, too, he thought.

The creator of Purgatory remained silent as he did, allowing for him to gather himself before finally stating his wish. 

"Bring everyone back! Iris, Macheo, Aiko, Hongse, Valerie, Jae-Seong, Mencius, Fedrin, and…" He stopped for a moment as he spilled his wishes out, clenching his fists, "...Meinhard!"

After he shouted out his desired wish, he gathered his breath, huffing and puffing as he looked up at the silent, smiling god. 

It was that ever-discerning smile that silently loomed over him that filled his veins with ice; even through the wordless moment, he felt as if he was already rejected. 

"Ren Nakamura."

"...Yes?" He gulped, feeling his droplets of sweat line his skin. 

Togae remained still, sitting in complete comfort as though he was speaking to one that posed no threat in the slightest, "Your wish cannot be met." 

"What…?" 

Those were the single most disheartening words he'd ever had meet his ears; so incorrigible, dreadful, and despicable, that he wanted to throw up–right then and there. 

"What the hell do you mean?! What the fuck do you mean my wish "cannot be met"?! Bullshit!" He shouted out without restraint, straining his throat as he unleashed his words in complete anger. 

The nebulous creator remained silent, watching the minuscule human, whose tears strolled down his pale, bandaged cheeks. 

"Don't you dare fucking tell me it was for nothing! Don't you dare…!" He fell to his knees, slamming his fists against the ground as the stone beneath shattered. 

Though his anger quickly faded to despair as tears plentifully traversed his cheeks, leaving him knelt in despair. 

"Ren Nakamura."

"..."

"Lift your head. You did not let me finish," Togae informed him. 

–It was a faint light of hope, one that he was cautious not to let himself cling to after the evisceration that had just occurred to every strand of his heart. 

But, he stood, looking up at the smiling, inhuman entity with his bloodshot, left eye. 

"I cannot meet your wish, however, I can–to some capacity."

"...What the hell are you saying?"

Togae answered, holding up three fingers, "In the case in which a victor of Purgatory wishes for resurrection, the limit is three people."

"Three…?"

His eyes widened: somehow, this information felt almost as visceral as this time, his veins ran hot with boiling blood. It wasn't anger, but the realization of what he may have to do. 

Three…? I'll have to choose…? No, that's not right. I can't. It's not my place to dictate who lives and who dies…he thought. 

The thought alone made his vision blurry and twisted, finding no cohesiveness to his flurry of thoughts. 

"Ren Nakamura."

–The all-powerful voice forced him to focus on its originator, causing him to look up at the stygian-skinned entity. 

"Purgatory is my world. It is a trial for mortalkind, but a home for others. As such, it exists by my whim, not by ironclad laws, and rules. In fact, the existence of the wish for those who surmount the trial is not something given to all. It is required to overcome Purgatory, not clear it."

"What're you trying to tell me…?"

Togae learned just slightly closer, and though his colossal form was still far from being close to the young man, that small distance closed felt as if he was directly face-to-face with the frightening deity. 

"Purgatory awards those who struggled, but made it. Those who are persistent, unyielding, but at the same time…fragile. It is by only their stubborn nature, fractured, but continuous, that they truly pass the trial of Purgatory. That is what you've achieved–in picture-perfect form, at that. As such, I will make you an offer, Ren Nakamura." 

A small token of hope, but he knew not to trust it immediately. 

"...What is it?" He asked quietly, gulping down his fears after his voice had trembled. 

To him, it was unclear whether it was the bleak nature of reality that shook his voice, or the anticipation of whether or not it'd be within his power to fulfill the complete form of his wish. 

It was that ever-existing smile perched on the lipless face of the eyeless god; it kept him on his toes, though sensitive his pained heart was. 

He knew to himself–whatever "deal" would spill from those inhuman lips would be unpleasant, but he wasn't prepared for what actually left from the mouth of the creator. 

"If you're truly intent on returning those who fell back to life, then you will have to relive another trial of Purgatory." 

His blood ran to ice at these words, finding his breath evaporated from his lungs as he stood silent for a moment. 

He only managed to weakly let out his words, "...Relive…? Relive Purgatory…?" 

"That's correct." 

–He wanted to throw up. 

It was a thought that lied beyond sickening. After the respite he had found, only momentarily, but massive, after completing his time through hell–he felt as if he had just been woken into the reality that was far worse than any nightmare. 

He held his stomach, running his fingers across the blood-stained bandages that were wrapped around his abdomen, "...If I do that, I can bring everyone back?" 

–Again, his hopes were stamped out like a small, hardly-living flame. 

"Only four more."

"What…? Why…!?"

Togae seemed to exhibit some form of anger as he was questioned this time, "Sickening greed of mortalkind. Have I not made you a fair offer? In truth, I've bestowed you with a kindness that I needn't have to. But, you want more? Shall I rescind my kindness?"

"No..! Please, no!" He quickly yelled out, dropping to his knees and prostrating before the grandiose entity. 

With his forehead against the stygian stone below, he felt its coldness against his skin–but soon realized that chilly feeling belonged to the tears that flooded down, dampening the material below. 

"Then what is your answer, Ren Nakamura?" 

Though it felt unfair, he knew to the heartless, inhuman god–it was as fair as he would get. 

That's right…I'm nothing but one man. This is a god, his realm…I don't have a choice, do I? He thought with a solemn breath. 

He had realized it fully then and there: there was no room for negotiation–he was before a god, one who sunken into such hubris that the concept of being wrong simply didn't apply. 

It was a difficult pill to swallow, but he forced his inflamed emotions down his throat as he lifted his head. 

"I'll do it," he answered quietly through his taut, trembling throat. 

"I did not hear your answer, Ren Nakamura. Speak up." 

He repeated, yelling out this time though his voice shook, "...I'll do it!" 

It had to be forced from his lips, otherwise he would've never answered. The pain had accumulated in his time through the hellish realm was ingrained in his body; he trembled at the mere thought of experiencing it all again. 

All of my cuts, bruises…all of my deaths–all of it. I'll have to experience it again. But, I made a promise–a promise that I'd save everyone.. If my suffering can save them…I don't have to think twice, right? He thought.