Chapter 468 - Ren Nakamura

As much as he wanted to swallow his doubt, his fears, and his cowardice, it was simply an impossible ask for his body to quell its trembling; it was a thought that persisted in his mind as the "worse case scenario"--but that wasn't true. 

No…it could be worse. I could leave here without everybody–I refuse to do that, he thought. 

"Are you certain that is your choice?" Togae asked, resting his abyssal cheek against his hand, as his elbow persisted on the arm of his colossal throne. 

"...Yes." 

It would've been even easier for him to outright reject the question with a "No" but he forced his answer out instantly to prevent his fear from overtaking his tongue. 

"I'll have to do it all again…right?" He asked, raising his head. 

"Yes, and no," Togae promptly answered. 

"What does that mean…?" 

Togae held his unwavering smile, "As you perceive, nothing will change. Only a moment will pass, a fleeting second–however, in that minuscule passage of time, your body will relive a journey through Purgatory; all of the pain, stress, torment–it will all be ingrained in your flesh simultaneously.

It was difficult to grasp what the nebulous entity meant at first, though that was mostly due to the fragile state of his hazy mind at that moment. 

"All at once…? It'll be over in an instant, you mean?" 

"In a sense, yes. You don't have to lift but a finger. However, I'd say the aftermath will not be a fleeting, momentary affliction," Togae answered with his calm, but booming voice. 

For him, it was a difference that meant the world, but the mysterious, powerless aspect of it left him still wavering in his resolve. 

"Alright…I'll do it," he confirmed. 

"A noble decision," Togae raised a single hand, pointing his towering index finger upwards, "ready yourself, Ren Nakamura. I'm sure you needn't be reminded of the stress that Purgatory puts one's body through." 

He kept himself on his knees, gathering his breath as he tried his best to stabilize his breathing, as well as his swelling heart. 

Though knowing what was coming, it felt impossible to truly quell the quivering of his body, and the lightness of his head. 

"Are you ready?" Togae asked.

He gulped, forcing his doubt down his throat before he answered, "Hit me." 

The moment he gave the signal, keeping his bandaged hands against the flooring below to keep himself stable, the colossal deity's sable finger lengthened like a tendril, swirling before propelling directly towards the young man. 

Togae's snow-white fingernail, larger than the human's head, lightly touched the top of his head–and as it did–it came. 

His mind fell completely blank, but it wasn't due to an absence of information being processed–it was the opposite. 

"Graaaaargh—!"

Without a wasted moment, the pain settled in; seizing his bodily functions as his muscles swelled, constricting and contracting. His veins pulsating as they protruded against his skin, running hot enough that his complexion shifted to a strained red. 

As if an unseen blade was being dragged across his skin, lacerations were etched across his pale flesh; dragged across his crimson-dyed bandages, the unseen eviscerations opened his past scars. Soon, the plethora of cuts, small and large, shifted into stabs as his body was skewered by invisible blades–leaving him keeled over on the ground as he groaned out. 

It's too much. It's too much. I can't take it. I can't take it. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop, he thought. 

He had no control over his body, only helpless as his muscles twitched, flexed, constricted, and swelled all on their own, burning with a fiery agony. Through his veins, the pain poured through like molten lava–sizzling and charring his inner systems, but he soon realized it was his own blood. 

Scraping against the rough flooring below, his fingernails peeled and bled, though the pain was far too minuscule in comparison to even be felt. 

Heart palpitations began, thumping wildly as the wild beating of his pivotal muscle felt as if a drum was being savagely beat inside of his body–clutching his chest as blood spewed from his lips, nose, ears, and every orifice he could make note of. 

–Soon, it was over. 

The momentary experience etched itself for a tortuous eternity. 

After quieting down as the onslaught of pain came to a stop, still pulsating through his body in a dissipating manner, he laid there, groaning as crimson poured from his afflicted temple of flesh. 

"Well done, Ren Nakamura. That is proof your body has been cultivated into one of respectable strength. If you were anything like the you that first entered Purgatory, this experience would've left you only as a hollow shell of blood and skewered flesh," Togae congratulated him. 

He couldn't respond at first as he prioritized lifting himself from the ground as adhesive, fresh blood stuck from his skin to the stone below. 

After raising his gaze, he looked up at the primordial creator with an eye dyed in his own blood, parting his messied lips. 

"...So, I can bring back seven, right?" He asked hoarsely. 

"That's right. After what you've done, I assure you there will not be any catch to it–you've earned you right for this wish, Ren Nakamura." 

He somehow managed to bring himself to his feet, though his arms hung limp at his sides as a puddle of blood only continued to expand at his step. 

"Bring these seven back…Iris, Macheo, Aiko, Hongse, Jae-Seong, Valerie, and…" He stopped for a moment, pondering as he looked at his red-dyed hands, "...Mencius." 

"Are you certain that is your wish? A desire this grand is not one that can be undone once set in motion," Togae asked to confirm. 

He nodded slowly, "...Yeah. Hurry up, already." 

Sorry, Meinhard. But, I promised to bring everyone who died recently back. You've had your time to settle into the afterlife, I'm sure you're comfortable by now…but them, I'm sure they're itching to get out of that place. 

Sorry…he thought. 

Togae's smile persisted as he raised a singular hand before snapping his fingers, "Then let it be."

Just as the ungodly, shining aura emanated from the deity's snapped fingers–his consciousness faded, dropping backward as he landed harshly against the stone. 

Ah, I guess I lost a bit too much blood…just wake me up when it's done…he thought. 

I'm sorry, Meinhard.

"Why?"

I couldn't bring you back. I'm sorry. Even after all the hot-headed promises I made, I couldn't do it. 

"You did what you could. That's all that matters, isn't it? Nobody can fault you for trying your best." 

I could've done more. As long as there is blood running in my veins, I don't have an excuse. 

"Stop that. Keep thinking like that, and you'll lose everything, Ren. You…should really learn to value yourself more."

Value myself? 

"That's right. It's alright to keep some special people in front of you, but sometimes, you have to step back and remember there is only so much a single person can do. I'm sure you know–nobody wants to be saved at the cost of one they love. Learn to just sit back and take in the wind. There is a lot to this world that you haven't had the chance to enjoy yet, Ren."

…Value myself. If that's what you want, then I'll try. 

[Purgatory, End]