Chapter 40 - I can't love anyone else

He gazes at her. She squeezes her eyes shut, waiting for him to take action.

Knowing that she has been with his previous reincarnation makes him both happy and sad. At least, his previous reincarnation always treated her good.

In the past, he fought a lot against his true feelings for her. Because of that, she was always taking the first action. There was no one else who made him happier than she did. He knew that she loved him. When he started to notice her disappearances, he was always jealous that she was going back to Li Jun. Their relationship became vague because he was always afraid that she loved someone else more than him. At that time, he hurt her a lot. It was also the reason why he intentionally ɨmprėġnȧtėd her to trap her with him and then, he asked her to marry him because she was carrying his child. She was upset when she found out. He was a fool. He couldn't understand what she was going through. He never tried hard enough to know either.

There was one time when she cried a lot. She didn't tell him the reason. After that, she didn't disappear like before. She even started to live at his place during the last few weeks. He realizes now. She knew that she was going to die. She only wanted to be with him as much as possible.

It's been ten years. Right now, she is lying beneath him. After ten years, he can feel her warmth again. It feels like a dream. Even now, she wants to be with him because she knows that she is going to die soon.

She opens one eye and peeks at him when he lays down beside her. She is too cute. He pulls her in his arms, pressing her softness against him. "Tell me everything that I don't know."

She looks a bit disappointed. "What do you want to know?"

His nose is almost touching hers. Being like this is not bad. "Everything."

She stares at him for a long moment. Then, she sighs and says, "I guess that I am not breaking any rule if I tell it to someone from the future. I will tell you then."

"I am waiting." He slips his hand inside her shirt. She stiffens when he draws circles on her back. "I am keeping my words. I am being gentle with you."

"Right." She puts her arm on his waist hesitantly. "My family must have told you already. It sorts of run in the family. I have cousins with different abilities. Out of all the abilities, time-traveling is seen as the worst. My aunt, who disappeared for decades, is stuck in the past. She messed up with time a lot. Sometimes, she did it for fun. At other times, she had good reasons. The timekeepers are people who try to stop the misuse. Changing the future has grave consequences. I am the result of her actions. Though she managed to save her family, her actions must have changed other things."

"What did she change?" He asks her quietly.

"I don't know. Sometimes, I am afraid that my family will die. That hasn't happened yet. I guess that they are safe." She puts her head on his ċhėst, listening to his calming heartbeat. "I am being sent to the past a lot. It must be because of my aunt. It must be my job to fix the past. I don't know what I am changing there. I know that I have to leave this world when my job is done."

"It's hard for you." He strokes her head. "If I find those timekeepers, can I make them stop your fate?"

She kisses him on his nose. "Kang Si An, only time-travelers can change the past or the future. The timekeepers can only try to stop them from doing so if it is unwanted. Finding them now won't help you. After I leave, you have to move on, ok? Find a good girl. Get married. Have a family. I am happy that you love me this much. But, I would never want you to live alone for the rest of your life. I am your past. You have to find your future."

Kang Si An's heart aches when he sees her clear smile. She's asking him to find the future, but there has been no future since she was gone. If he had known that he loved her that much when she was alive instead of taking her for granted, he would have tried harder to know what was wrong with her. She hid things from him. He let her hide them. If he had known that those secrets would become the reasons for her death, he would have forced her to tell her.

Like a crazy person, he was looking for the timekeepers' organization. They seem to be always out of his grasps. He wanted to change the past.

She is telling him the secrets now because the past is already written for him.

"There will be no one else." His voice is cracking. "Kyuri, it will always be you. No one else can take your place beside me. It's been ten years, but I feel like it was only yesterday. I can't love anyone else."

Kang Si An looks into her eyes. Those dark brown eyes are quiet, but they seem to say a lot wordlessly. It feels like the time is frozen. This moment between them is a gift. The past and the future meet. He sees her let go of what was holding her back. He has never thought that he would see her falling in love with him like like this. He returns her tender kisses. He can't hold back anymore.