Chapter 61

Cersinia was asleep when she heard a muffled voice.

“I don’t know if I can be by your side.”

Somehow, the sad voice turned her dream into a sad one. The voice, coming closer and clearer than before, was too familiar. The low-pitched voice was definitely Ben’s.

She suddenly woke up. She had long gained consciousness. As she closed her eyes and held her breath quietly, she felt another breath next to her. A great presence that cannot be ignored. It touched her skin.

‘He wasn’t in the mansion before I fell asleep, so when did he come?’

It was either in the middle of night or dawn, considering the room was still dark. Cersinia was contemplating when to open her eyes. She couldn’t open her eyes suddenly because Ben thought she was asleep and was now revealing what was on his mind.

“I’m afraid I’ll hurt Cersinia.”

After a short silence, he spoke again. The subtly trembling voice sounded uneasy.

“I really don’t know.”

It was as if an unfathomable deep agony had engulfed him.

“That can’t be true.”

Cersinia eventually opened her eyes. She was worried about the darkness and anxiety that Ben felt, so she couldn’t turn a blind eye to it.

“Cersinia?”

Ben’s and her gaze met. He looked surprised. As if he had never expected her to wake up.

“Did you avoid me for that reason?”

Cersinia raised herself and sat down. Ben’s eyes fluttered slightly as he was still dumbfounded.

While Cersinia was alone in the mansion, she was lonely and so alienated since it felt like she had nowhere to belong. It was because of Ben’s absence. Because he was not by her side, he, who was always there for her and became her shield. She was very sad and upset about it, but Ben avoided her just for that reason?!

“…”

“Tell me, Ben. Did you avoid me for that reason?” Cersinia nervously retorted.

“I’m not confident that I will not hurt Cersinia…”

‘Huh, what is he talking about now?’ Cersinia’s eyebrows twitched slightly.

‘You don’t have to protect me, Ben. I’m not made of glass!”

“That’s not what I meant. It’s just that I’m afraid that my action will hurt Cersinia. Even the other day…”

He spoke hastily but quickly stopped before finishing his sentence. Ben’s face was stained with pain as if he was being reminded of the past. Cersinia stared at him without saying a word. He had a serious expression and had lowered his gaze as if he didn’t dare to make eye contact with her.

If he’s talking about something he did that could hurt her, Cersinia was sure that he was talking about the time when he grabbed her wrist. At that time, surprised that he held her wrist tightly, he kept apologizing as if he had committed a great sin.

‘How the heck did the memory of that day affect him so much that he was so afraid and avoided me?’

Cersinia sighed.

“Ben, you can’t hurt me.”

“You and I don’t know about that.”

Ben clenched his fists firmly. His ever-growing desire was uncontrollable. He wanted Cersinia to the extent that he couldn’t control himself anymore. If possible, he wanted to put shackles around her ankles and lock her in his arms. He wanted to make her stay by his side even if he had to break her legs. Because he can’t let her go anymore and doesn’t want to experience being away from her again. One experience just enough.

‘How would Cersinia react if I conveyed my thoughts?’

‘Will she hate me? Or will she be disappointed me?’

Ben considered himself disgusting and terrible, but he wouldn’t be able to accept it if Cersinia thought about him like that too. He laughed at himself and chewed on his bottom lip hard.

“No, that’s not right. You’re a person who can’t do that.”

Ben even doubted himself, but Cersinia was convinced that he was a person who could never hurt her.

‘Ben was even cautious about slightly touching my hand.’

For her, Ben, who prioritized her first, just like three years ago, was a person who could never do that.

“And you know that no on can hurt me. My powers, remember?”

Ben nodded at her words. His broad shoulders were drooping like a puppy that lost its owner.

“Ben, look at me.”

Ben hesitated and eventually raised his head. He couldn’t possibly disobey her.

“I know what you’re worried about.”

In the end, Cersinia understood that Ben was worried about her and tried to avoid her. Three years ago, at the dockside, when she said that he might get hurt if they were together because of her power, he smiled brightly and said he wanted to be with her. Cersinia will never forget that moment. Even with her curse-like power, Ben showed her that it possible for her to stay with people, and that she didn’t have to be alone again. It was now time for her o show him that she wouldn’t leave him either.

‘As he said, I can’t promise to be together with him forever, but I could reassure him that nothing would happen to me.’

“I know you can never do that. But if that really happens…”

Cersinia took a breath a deep breath. Ben waited anxiously for her to open her mouth again.

“I won’t blame you. There’s no way I’m going to get hurt easily.”

Quite pleased with her own answer, Cersinia laughed a bit. At those words, Ben’s mind went blank as if he had been hit in the head with a blunt weapon.

‘I know. Cersinia’s power is extraordinary. But she’s a human too.’

A human’s feelings can be hurt and broken by those who criticize her. Her bleeding appearance after being hit by a stone still vividly remained in his mind. The way she shed tears as she was collapsing.

Ben swore to himself that after that day, he would protect her so she doesn’t get hurt again. But he was being arrogant. She was a greater person than he thought. She had the strength to protect herself and the strength to overcome her wounds. As if to prove it, Cersinia was comforting him right now.

‘As always.’

Cersinia was always the one who saved him. He liked her strength, but he thought she would be easily broken by his desires.

‘What the hell was I thinking? She’s not fragile.’

How could he possibly think she would get caught and broken by him?

‘I was foolish.’

Every word she uttered pierced his chest. The image of a fragile glass-like Cersinia escaped from his mind. The anxiety, condemnation, and the agonizing he felt for over a week, melted away like snow.

“…”

Ben looked at her with twinkling eyes. Red hair, straight forehead, a tall nose, red and plump lips, and crimson eyes. Everything about her was projecting into his eyes. The only thing he wants to do is be with her.

“So don’t be afraid of things that haven’t even happened.”

Cersinia said that to Ben, but also to herself. She slowly reached out and snapped her fingers in front of his eyes.

Crackle.

With the sound, a small flame broke out on her hand. The blazing flame lit her face and roamed on her hands. The flame, which hovered like a firefly, disappeared instantly when Cersinia folded her hand.

“Rather, I’m worried about you.”

She shrugged proudly and burst out laughing as if it was fun to show off her power after a long time. Ben swallowed dryly at her clear laughter. The urge to kiss her lips, which were bending smoothly, raised.

“Do you remember what I said at the dock?”

Ben nodded mesmerized. He hadn’t forgotten it, not even for a second of every day he spent with her. The memories was so bright and precious that he thought about it countless times.

“I certainly gave you a chance, but you were the one who said you want to be with me.”

Her voice tickled Ben’s ear and heart. He couldn’t take his eyes off her, just like a person had no choice but to look at her since the day he was born.

“But now it makes no sense for you to avoid me.”

Ben’s heart pounded as she laughed lowly. He felt numb, as if his whole body was electrocuted. There was no vague anxiety, only one desire that dominated his mind.

“By the way, when did you get here?”

Watching Ben, who did not answer, Cersinia blinked several times in embarrassment.

“I.”

As Ben carefully opened his mouth, Cersinia was delighted.

“Yes, say it.”

“I want to show my greed.”

“Greed? What kind of greed? No, just be greedy. Everyone has greed.”

Ben’s eyes lit up at her answer. After all, it was Cersinia, he knew that she would say so. Because she is a sweet person. No matter how he looked, she always made his heart race. It’s something that only Cersinia can do.

“Cersinia.”

“Yes.”

Ben could no longer suppress the emotions he had endured for a very long time, which he had been hiding inside himself. As she said, now he wanted to be brave. His eyes, which were completely filled with Cersinia, were as hard as stones, unlike before. His unshakable eyes shone brighter than any other jewel.

“I like you.”

He wanted to stay with her no matter what. If he could be greedy only once in life, he wanted to try his luck and let her know that he wanted to be by her side. Now he wants to be greedy.

“…”

Cersinia was so flabbergasted, she couldn’t close her mouth and froze in place. Only the breaths of the two lingered in the silence that came with the confession. The moonlight pouring through the window surrounded the two as if embracing them.

“I like you so much.”

He was smiling as brightly as he was three years ago when it was raining heavily at the dock. His smile reminded Cersinia, once again, of a white spring flower.