He felt so angry. All the negative feelings someone could experience, anger, pain, betrayal, sadness had all gathered inside of him at this moment and gave him the final push to act. Those were his driving power and he felt like a black aura had surrounded his body.
Luke didn't know what he had created. Alex was never like that, he never felt so negatively. He always believed that things could get better. That there would be always a way but he had taken that strength away from him and now his only source of power was his displeasure, his agony.
So driven by all of these monsters inside him he launched forward and jumped on him. Luke surprised by the sudden attack fell to the ground with Alex landing on top of him. He was crying, unable to breathe properly while his fists landed angrily everywhere, filled with hate.
He could do anything. Push him back? It was like a rock had landed on him and he didn't know if it were his feeling for him and his guilt that made him unable to stop him from beating him up or if he actually was that strong and he didn't know it.
His lip was already cut and he had a black eye by the time Alex got tired and fell on his chest.
"I hate you" he mumbled and for the first time Luke got familiar with a new type of pain. It was excruciating to hear someone you loved tell you he hated you, he could never imagine just words to have such strength against him. He didn't care so much about the physical pain but this, this was different. It tore his heart in two and knowing that he was the one who had brought it upon himself made it worse.
He wrapped his arms around Alex's shaking body.
"Please don't say that."
"Don't touch me" he said and tried to free himself from his embrace. The most comforting place once had started to feel like a prison. "Don't touch me." He screamed forcing Luke to let him go.
Alex stood up. His face red from anger. He looked at his boyfriend still on the dirty ground but his eyes showed no signs of remorse. He was still angry, he hadn't vented enough and Luke wondered if he could ever forgive him.
He didn't know that his father was dead. All he had done was agree to them having their memories erased and he visited them just once, after that he never heard about them again. How could he know that something went wrong and his father died? Wasn't it better like that anyways? His parents hated him. He believed that would make him happy but instead Alex hated him for it. Even though he couldn't understand why when all he wanted was to help him.
"Mark!" Alex shouted leaving Luke there on the ground. He pretended he didn't exist.
His best friend appeared hastily. A bloody sleeve resting on his forehead and Alex's eyes widened as he froze in his place. Someone had hurt him and he didn't even have to wonder who.
If there was a chance for this to be over soon Luke knew that this chance had been shattered into a thousand small pieces after Alex saw his best friend hurt.
"Who did this to you?" He asked Mark even though he knew the answer. He wanted to hear his name, feel the destruction the person who owned that name did. Luke had sat up now, still on the ground watching Alex be a ticking time bomb.
"It's not exactly who… I mean I did fall but you know shit happens" Mark said scratching the back of his head with his free hand. There was no way in this situation he would just blurt out Luke's name. Alex could have a heart attack with everything that is happening.
"Who did it?" he shouted and mark flinched. Everyone today had been scaring him a bit too much and honestly he didn't like this. It was definitely not what he had planned on his mind and for the millionth time he felt like he was in a freaking soap opera. A human and his wolf boyfriend were having a quarrel in the middle of a rundown neighborhood shouting about how someone killed someone else's father but still no one was surprised. Yes, there were people who were looking from their dusty windows with confused expressions but no one apparently wanted the show to stop by calling the police because why do that? Their lives were boring anyway and because of that Mark was being screamed at the whole day!
"You know who did it! Don't ask me" Mark shouted back and Alex turned his attention back to Luke.
He was sitting on the ground; his knees close to his chest as blood dripped down his chin. Alex too he crouched down reaching his eyes level. Luke couldn't speak. Was there anything he could do or say to defend himself? Defend himself from what? He wasn't being wrongly accused. He had done all these things. He had been slowly turning into a monster but no one could understand him. His worries, the anxiety that crawled on his mind leaving him awake at night. No one knew but even that wasn't an excuse.
"Why did you hit him?" He asked him
"He made me mad. He wouldn't answer my questions." Luke answered honestly. Alex scoffed. It was that easy to make Luke angry. For him he had to hear that his father died so he could have an outburst like that but for Luke it was as simple as someone not answering his questions.
"Is that so? How about my fucking questions then? Huh? Why aren't you answering them?" he said and slapped him. "Do your lies, the fact that my father died because of you, the fact that I have no family anymore because of you justify me hitting you?" he asked him.
"Yes"
"No! it doesn't. I hate myself for it! You make me hate myself. You make me act like I am not me! Why? Why are you doing this to me? What did I do?" he asked him and tears streamed down his face "This hate inside me. I don't want it so why?"
Both of them were turning into different people. Straying further and further away from the image the other came to like, to want and it was all because of Luke and his obsession, his fear of not losing him. He couldn't explain that to him though because he had to reveal everything. His biggest secret, the one that could destroy everything.
"I'm sorry. I know that I was wrong" he apologized but Alex just laughed mockingly.
"Your sorry has become just an excuse for you to be forgiven and do the same thing again and again." He told him "It's fucking annoying!" he shouted again. His throat had started becoming soar and he stood up looking at Luke from above. If looks could kill Alex's gaze would have burned him to the ground. His clenched fists at his sides and the tense jaw made everything obvious. This time it was different, this time something was beginning to break and if Luke tried to fix it now he would just ruin everything.
"Mark let's go, we are leaving" he said and looked at his best friend who just nodded in response.
Luke tried to get up, stop him at least he wanted to keep him close. He was scared that Alex would leave for good. He would run away from him.
"Don't get up. Stay down there like the low life you are" he told him and not only Luke got surprised by his word but everyone around him.
He could see it with his grey eyes very clearly, the person talking to him right now. Those emerald eyes that were looking at him with disgust. That person who had hit and shouted at him.
That wasn't Alex.
"No wait. Don't go please" Luke called out to him, grabbing his hand.
Alex took his hand away. He didn't want to be touched by him. It was that hatred again that bloomed inside him like a poisonous flower.
"Don't touch me. And what you did…to Alex…you will pay for it" he said surprising even himself. He blinked a few times confused as to why he spoke about himself in the third person.
"Let's just leave" Mark said not able to see his best friend in this state.
Alex and mark walked away without even looking back at the two other. Luke this time did not try to stop him, he wasn't Alex after all, it was someone else who had appeared to fight for him.
The grey eyed boy stood up and wiped of the dirt from his pants. He rubbed the edge of his cut lip on his sleeve and turned towards Mikael who was now out of the car, supporting himself at the front of the car, his arms wrapped on his chest. He looked at him carefully, his head moving from bottom to top and he laughed at his disheveled appearance.
"You heard that too?" Luke asked him.
"What? Alex referring to himself in the third person like is possessed?"
"Yes, that"
"You wanted to prevent him from remembering but you shit are making things worse. Get in the car and find a way to fox this" he said and threw the car keys at him, landing on his palm "You are driving. I have to lecture you about how to not be a fucking jerk."
"I know" he said and his head dropped in regret "I fucking know"
"One thing I know" Mikael said with a grin "Is that Alex…in his past life was a badass"
....
Hello! Thank you for reading I hope you like it. I would love to hear your thoughts about the story...I fyou like the flow, the plot the characters etc. Also if you want you can find me on insta and we can there! @yaminoyosei
Again I want to thank you all for the support you've been showing this book. To me it's very important.
Also I am very excited and I can't stop myself from updating like five times a day because I want you so much guys to read about a point in the story that is comming up. It's going to be great!