Chapter 46 - Match 46

(Trigger warning : Self harm) 

"You need to stop doing that" Mikael told him while they drove around town. 

Even though his friend had told him that the best thing they could for now was drive back to the compound, Luke had insisted that at least they made sure that Alex was okay. So they were passing by shocked pedestrians as a sports car drove right next to them at the speed of light and searched around. The colors of the city seemed dull to Luke and he didn't really care if he injured anyone while driving. He had begun losing his common sense a while ago. From the moment he found out about Alex he was losing bit by bit pieces of himself. 

"Dude go slower you're going to kill somebody" Mikael scolded him. "I know you're angry but…"

"No you don't know" Luke said while clenching the black steering wheel. "You definitely don't know" he repeated while his eyes were glued on the dirty, grey roads. 

All these people, were useless. They just took up even more space and the old, moldy building that stood tall in front of him were just obstacles in his search. If he could tear the whole city down, he would. 

Luke was sweating and he felt like he couldn't breathe. His hands started shaking and Mikael looked at him concerned as he seemed not able to drive anymore. 

"Stop the car Luke"

"No" he stuttered 

"Stop the fucking car. Now!" he said grabbing the wheel and maneuvering the car into a small empty space at the side of the road. Afraid that they might crush Luke stepped on the break in a hurry resulting in them falling forward and bouncing back on their seats. Now that the car had stopped Luke felt that Alex was getting further and further away from him and that was devastating. It was like a rock suddenly had crushed his rib cage and he couldn't move.

"Get out the car you're in shock" Mikael told him.

"I…I.. can't breathe" he managed to say. What was happening to him? He had never felt like that. Like he was trapped in his own head he could control his body. "I can't move" he repeated shocked and his nail suddenly came out. "Help me!" he shouted and his eyes watered. He started scratching his arms with the sharp claws. He needed to feel something else. Something different than this dysphoria that made him unable to function. He was being wrapped by an endless numbing darkness and he couldn't find a way out. 

"Oh my God Luke Stop!" Mikael said and jumped out of the car. He ran to his door and opened it, unbuckling Luke's seatbelt and pulling him out, making him seat on the road. He pinned his hands down and looked at him. "You are in shock. I am so sorry, I didn't know. I just thought you were angry." He apologized and hugged him. 

Luke's claws scratched his back as he hugged him and he couldn't stop crying. Mikael groaned at the sudden pain but still caressed Luke's back whispering that it would be okay. That everything would be fine until he finally drew his claws in and his breathing became more stable. Still there were a few stray tears but now he would at least stop hurting himself. They were both filled with their blood and Mikael realized that in the so many years he was alive, this was the first time after Scarlet that he had witnessed so much blood and pain. These days were just a nightmare.

"Why am I like this? Oh god please Mikael help me? Why am I acting like that? This is not me" Luke cried out hating himself. He felt like this conversation was being recycled again and again just because he couldn't get in his head what was wrong with him. He felt the hate, he felt that he was wrong but he couldn't see the cause, dammit how could he fix it if he didn't know what it was?!

"I know, I know it's okay. Don't worry. You will get through this I am sure. You are strong Luke. You are a good person I know that." He reassured him.

"The things I've done to Alex; all I've been doing is hurt him. Why do I do this?" 

"You are scared. You are scared that you will lose him."

"Of course I am. Didn't you see? That person was not Alex, he was not my mate. He will take him away from me. In a few days, this party. I can't sleep at night. I see him hating me, pushing me away. I've never felt fear like this before. I think I am going to go insane."

"Listen to me Luke. I am your best friend. I can't sugar coat anything for you because right now I am the one caring for you the most. You are my only family and I want you happy so please get this to your head. By lying and by acting alone on what you think it's good for someone you love you will only push the away. You are triggering Alex's true self to come out, it's a coping mechanism. He wakes up to protect him from the pain you are causing meaning that your lying and scheming have the opposite result of what you wanted. You need to talk to him. He loves you I know that."

"I can't tell him Mikael. I know he will hate me. He was so happy playing soccer. He was smiling so brightly and I ruined that!" he shouted hitting his fist on the concrete creating a huge whole on the road. 

"Okay, okay don't tell him. But only this. Stop lying to him. Let him be himself. He gave up everything, his life, his school, his soccer career just to be with you. That is more than enough for you to realize that he wants you. He wants you to just be with him. No lies and secrets, no supernatural drama. He doesn't care. So you just need to put that behind. Alex won't awaken if you don't trigger him to. I am sure." 

"Do you think I can make things right?" he asked him and Mikael sighed. 

Judging from the way Alex looked at Luke he was sure that he would forgive him. The boy was that much of foolishly in love with him but he wasn't stupid. His second chances one day would end and he had to realize that sooner or later. Taking him for granted meant that he could act recklessly more easily. Not being scared of losing someone just because they love you, thinking they will always be there could be what pushes them away. 

"I don't know. He might not forgive you but try, I guess. He still loves you. Let him calm down first. Nothing will come out if you meet like this." He said and looked at his injured arms. "You need to get this treated by the way."

"I didn't realize I did it." He mumbled looking confused at his arms. "I want to try Mikael. To be a better mate I don't want to be like my father." 

"Then try. No one's forcing you to do these shit. Your biggest enemy is not who Alex might end up being, not Lily, damn not even your dictator father, your biggest enemy is yourself and only you can fight with him. Now get your ass up and let's go home. I will send my magic cab driver to search for them"

"That man is a blessing"

"No that man is super expensive that's why you will pay him. Get to the passenger seat I am not letting you drive again." He told him.

"I am sorry." Luke told him. 

"I've done worse to you" he said and Luke smiled. "I guess you can call it a competition at who's the crappiest friend." 

"You've improved though" Luke commented and fastened his seatbelt while Mikael was turning the keys in the engine. The car roared and he smoothly put it back on the street driving at a normal speed this time, leaving the busy city behind and finding themselves back into the quiet country side. 

So much time had passed that the sky had been painted an orange color that was getting lost and mixed up with a pretty violet as the sun was getting lower and lower, his light slowly getting lost behind the tall trees of the mystical woods. 

"Realizing you're wrong is the first step to improving yourself Luke"

"How did you do it?" Luke asked him. 

Mikael hadn't always been this way. He was rebellious and angry. Mad at the world and always on edge, looking for a fight with everyone that even spared him a curious glance. 

"I didn't do it. Scarlet did it for me." He replied. 

"When you met your love you became a better person but all I've been getting is worse."

"Well I mean your case is just a bit more complicated. Suppressed soul and all, no bonding mark but I am sure the Gods chose you two for a reason. Some people are perfect from the beginning, some others are not." He told him leaving the continuation of his thoughts silent. And some are not meant to be with each other at all, even if there is love. He couldn't hurt him by saying that, maybe there was still hope for them. The mating bond was sacred after all.

"I hope so." Luke said and let his head rest on the seat. He closed eyes and took a deep breath. He really was hoping there was salvation for him out there, because the way he felt when he was around Alex, he knew he wouldn't find it anywhere else. That calm. The way their bodies matched each other so perfectly and how his eyes mirrored his tortured soul so well. How could he let go of that? 

"Oh, no, no, no. Don't fall asleep now. We just relived The War of the Tribes and you have the audacity to fall asleep?" he said mentioning so easily an event about their dark past.

"Don't talk about that. That's the least I want to remember." He said 

"Okay then let's talk about how you injured MY CRUSH YOU BITCH" Mikael shouted and his best friend gasped. 

"Your freaking what?"

"You heard me" Mikael said with a cheeky smile.

"Not the carrot head dude"

"Shut up. I think he is cute. And you are going to apologize to him. Get on your knees."

"I will, not because he is your crush but because I was a jerk. He just wanted to help his friend."

"Good boy" Mikael told him and Luke rolled his eyes. 

He was really a jerk and he needed to think how to fix that. Fast and before that hellish party because things would only get worse.

...

Now I feel sad. Not gonna lie. I mean what exactly makes bad people bad? Is Luke a bad person? What do you think after reading everything?

Also thank you again so much for reading! I hope that you can interact with the story and that you enjoyed reading!