Chapter 116 - Do A Bite

"Yes! Hahaha! Calc, please!? I want them too!" Miss Masher proves to be as equally on board for the yoyo as she is with the boomerang. With her hands clasped together in front of her in a pleading gesture, she is now doing her best attempt at puppy-dog eyes in Miss Calculated's direction.

Miss Calculated leans forward with her eyes closed, pinching the bridge of her nose.

Across the table, Miss Chievous has caught a case of the giggles, leaning slightly to her left.

Before Miss Calculated brings herself to give a verbal response, 23 has come to the rescue. It simultaneously sets down three bread baskets, one in between Miss Calculated and Miss Masher, one directly in front of Lucas, and the last directly in front of Miss Chievous.

Resting on top of its head is a large tray with numerous platters balanced on it. Even despite its obvious weight, 23 is actively utilizing all four of its arms without needing to hold the tray steady.

"My apologies for the wait, esteemed guests. Have you decided on your entrees, or would you like additional time to consider?" While asking this, 23 has already set down three different plates of wings in an arc in front of Lucas, as well as a floral-arranged fried onion in front of Jonathan.

Noticing a brief stirring of air beside him, Lucas turns to look to his right just in time to notice Jonathan scooting his seat forward a bit and dropping a damp crumbled-up paper towel on the table between them.

"Eh, where'd you get that?" Lucas's brows are scrunched up to a comical degree as he stares at the wadded-up paper towel.

"The… The restroom?" Jonathan almost sounds as confused as Lucas, as he's not entirely sure why Lucas is as bewildered as he appears to be.

"Hehe, zoom!" Miss Chievious gives her eloquent analysis, making a swooping hand motion as she does so, then falling into a fresh giggle fit afterward.

Continuing to unload the spread of food, 23 sets an arc of dishes from Miss Chievous to Miss Masher. The first two plates are two different styles of shrimp, followed by crab cakes, then fried mushrooms, and then a dish with a few of each seafood item is placed before Miss Calculated. The last two platters are finally set down in front of Willy, one being a large plate of fries covered in cheese and bacon, and the other is a few fried balls of mac and cheese.

"You, I like you. You're good, twenty se-er-three. 23. Thanksh." While Lucas is saying this to the diligently working service bot, he has ripped off a chunk of bread, unceremoniously stuffing it into his mouth as soon as he's done speaking.

"...Thank you, sir." 23 pauses a moment as it sets down a few small plates for everyone to use for their selected appetizers, hoping it doesn't have to repeat its question before someone will answer.

"Um, I-I think every… Everyone should be, um, ready?" Even though Jonathan sounds as timid as ever while stating this, he is rather aggressively tearing apart the onion with both hands.

Somehow, there are already two plates in front of him, both of which have a little bit of every one of the appetizers, apart from those which are within seated arms-reach of his and Lucas's seats.

Miss Chievous hasn't ended her giggle spree, though it's at least low enough to not be too disruptive. After biting off a piece of bread that she had put far too much butter on, she chews a few times and then decides she should be the one to order first.

"Shurf n' turf! Mmmmm porterhoush an' steamed! And! And an extra grilled tail! No! Two! And! Another steamed tail! And! A zoup of day! An' mash potato!" Barely half a second after Miss Chievous finishes announcing her food desires, Lucas smacks the table, nearly cracking it.

"Yesh!" Yelling this out, he pauses a solid three seconds before realizing he should probably elaborate. "Me too!"

"...And how would you both like your steaks cooked?" Poor 23.

Seemingly still on the same drunken wavelength, they both shout out "Rare!" nearly in sync.

While Lucas focuses the entirety of his attention on the platters of wings before him, he grabs a drumette from each one in order to figure out which is which, while everyone else orders their orders in a far more orderly fashion.

Halfway through eating the second one, he already forgot which plate he took each one off of, effectively invalidating his data.

While he's on his fifth wing, now fairly sure that the leftmost plate is the hot ones, Miss Calculated is holding up a menu before Willy and slowly playing a game of hot and cold with him to figure out what he wants to order.

Once the orders are finally complete, Willy is prancing with his front two paws, keenly staring at one of the fried mac and cheese balls. Miss Calculated catches the hint right away, pulling over the platter to place one on a small plate and cut it into smaller chunks before sliding it in front of him, to his great joy. It isn't very long before he's snarfed the whole thing down, licking the plate clean after.

"...Very well, if you'll excuse me, esteemed guests." 23 places the gathered pile of menus on the large carrying tray still balanced on top of its head, then turns and heads over to the Thieves of Elsewhere table, delivering the last breadbasket it had been carrying.

Miss Masher has already desecrated a crab cake in short order, directing her path of conquest towards the closest coconut battered shrimp.

Once he's finished dismembering the entirety of the fried onion, Jonathan puts a generous handful of crispity crunchety onion on each of the plates in front of him, then slides one of them in front of Lucas.

Grunting out a happy acknowledgment around a mouthful of bread, Lucas gently places a mild wing on Jonathan's plate as some sort of payment for his filial piety.

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Lucas total kills: 7

Lucas total deaths: 11

Lucas total assists: 1

Lucas current GDV: 12.21 (+.01 +.01 = +.02 net change)

Lucas's fame level: 4.50* (Beyond just local, viral meme tier. Local levels are extremely high.)

Lucas's hero suspicion level: 2.5* (More than just passing suspicion for some paranoid individuals, people are realizing he's an impulsive idiot)

Jonathan total kills: 6

Jonathan total deaths: 2

Jonathan current GDV: 3.80 (+.01 +.01 = +.02 net change)

Jonathan's fame level: 2.75* (Mostly just local)

Jonathan's hero suspicion level: 2.75* (A few paranoid individuals are suspicious)

Willy's fame level: 1.5* (Anonymous meme fame, local fame primarily as 'Xenoclast's dog', but some strangers know him as William/Willy now)

Supervillain social circle size: 11

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Little character theater:

Jonathan is consciously forcing himself to eat at a normal speed, mostly to avoid getting gas or heartburn rather than any other consideration, though.

Willy has covetously stared at the cheese fries long enough that Miss Calculated put two handfuls of them on his plate, which he is now savoring: Bark!

Lucas, staring at the plate full of options in front of him for about five seconds before sluggishly deciding he wants to eat some of the onion next: 'GET IN MAH BELLEH!'

427, actively glad he has this shiny new deafen and blind option: 'It's so… Peaceful. At least Maynard wasn't so… Stressful. Though, he was boring as hell.'

Author, hiding their smile and using a soothing voice: Poor Lucas, his executive dysfunction is even worse when he's intoxicated.

Mr. Quacks, surrounded by the gnawed remains of several chicken wings: Quack!