Chapter 152 - Four Entire Brain Cells

As Lucas goes to resume walking towards the men’s rooms, Jonathan seems to hesitate for a moment. Noticing this, Lucas chuckles and slaps him on the shoulder, holding his strength back just barely enough so that it only stings slightly.

“What, ya don’t wanna go hang out with a buncha supervillains without me? Heh, come on, we haven’t really had any chances to talk, anywho. Shit’s been pretty crazy lately, yeah?” Following Lucas’s teasing and invitation, Jonathan has a clear look of relief, starting to nod in agreement as Lucas finishes his broad observation of recent events.

While he hardly appreciated getting hit, it was clearly preferable to heading back to continue triggering his social anxiety.

“Yeah, it’s… it’s all been a lot. Is it, um, is it always like this? For you? Since the, um, you know what, at, um, least?” While Jonathan vaguely answers, his eyes are darting about the area, even pausing for a moment to turn to peek back over his shoulder to be extra thorough. Seemingly satisfied with his verification that they don’t appear to have any sort of an audience, he then points up at his forehead while maintaining a questioning expression as he looks back up at Lucas.

“Eh? ...Yeah, actually. Only been at it for not even a day longer than you, though. ...I hope it won’t always be like this, this is pretty fuckin’ exhausting. Wait, it’s even worse for you, yeah? Any fun stories lately? ...Uh, didn’t you have a gas can?” Towards the tail end of Lucas giving his response, he belatedly realizes that Jonathan is now empty-handed.

“Oh… Oops, I, um, left it by Willy… Guess it’s M-Maria’s now… Oh, I didn’t lose any, erm, points? I guess? From it though? B-but I, um, I d-don’t really have any, uh, good stories. Just that, um, I don’t… I don’t know why so many people try to r-run away? They saw how fast I am..? So... Why bother?” When Jonathan sheepishly admits to abandoning arson materials in Miss Chievous’s presence, Lucas can’t resist snickering out a bit of laughter. By the end of Jonathan’s rhetorical question, Lucas has a bit of a contemplative look.

“I guess they’re… Too scared to really think about it? It is kinda dumb when ya think about it though, innit?” While Lucas is musing this out loud, they have reached the entrance to the men’s restrooms.

[Lucas.]

In the middle of pushing the outer door open to head inside, Lucas locks up briefly, startled by 427 suddenly speaking up after such prolonged silence on his part. He recovers in short order though, and continues heading inside.

‘Ayy, long time no see buddy, whassup?’

[...Technically, you’ve never seen me. Ahem. Regardless, I understand that you haven’t had many opportunities to chat with Jonathan, but this is important.]

Jonathan had noticed the odd actions on Lucas’s part, staying quiet as he follows him inside. As both of them head over to the wall of mirror-backed sinks, he keeps watching Lucas with a curious look, but stays quiet so as not to interrupt what he correctly assumes is system communications time.

‘Oh? And what’s that?’

[I require your, or rather, more likely Jonathan’s, assistance. While you were enjoying goofing around I was doing what research I could manage with the limited information available so far. Any direct attempts at looking into any sort of animal research laboratory has borne no fruit, to a rather suspicious degree. However, when I changed targets and started looking into the company responsible for those ‘super tuff’ toys, they may very well be one and the same.]

‘Oh shit, ya found a lead that fast? Whatcha need from us? To get close enough to turn it into a task or somethin’?’

[Ah, it would probably be best to avoid that until we’re ready. Given the sizable positive modifiers you received earlier when dealing with that marble railgun girl with Miss Calculated and Miss Masher’s assistance, I believe it is decidedly in your best interests to utilize everyone’s apparent interest in taking part in this operation. What I need help with is managing to pass some of my discovered information along to Miss Calculated without it, well, being suspicious. To her, in particular, which is the hardest part of all.]

While 427 was speaking, Lucas has been leaning close to one of the mirrors, preening a bit. While the budget gel might not have withstood Jonathan’s zoomies, it hasn’t had such an issue on Lucas’s part, to his satisfaction.

‘Heheh, Chelsea would lose her shit if she saw me now, a little effort really does go a long way… Ahem, er, yeah, that makes sense. But uhh, just what is it you want us to pass along?’

[Chelsea..? Who is, no, never mind. Ultimately, my goal is to help direct Miss Calculated into looking into the toy manufacturer first, one way or another, as I’m sure she’ll make the necessary connections in short order once she finds enough of the relevant information. It would spare her quite a bit of time and effort by skipping the initial series of dead ends I had to deal with. Someone involved seems to have done their job well when hiding any traces of their REAL work, but they are currently likely doing all that they can to monetize some of their other discoveries from along the way. Presumably, it must be costly to maintain generations of curated breeding, doubly so as they’re doing it with more than just rodents.]

[They probably haven’t managed to create a sufficiently effective material akin to that which your suit is made of, hence their decision to try a different application, instead of attempting to directly compete in that existing market. I wouldn’t be surprised if they intentionally used famous supervillain’s appearances for the express purpose of drumming up attention as soon as at least one of them raised a fuss over it. With the way things are, any form of PR truly can be spun into good PR, it would certainly be a better form of advertising than most conventional methods.]

‘So coax her into diggin’ into the toymakers, and I guess stop Mark from tryin’ to sue? I mean, he’d understand the publicity bit, yeah? So just gotta convince him to, uhh, make his toys first, and springboard his own PR off of the shitty ones all at once?’

[Hmm, yes, more or less. Presumably, he has enough people business-minded enough that with a little prodding they’ll coordinate announcing the upcoming line of products, denounce the existing ones, and perhaps launch a lawsuit in short order, so the lab doesn’t have time to benefit from the attention it will gain from his fuss. Hmm, I’m not sure how many people are willing to invest in pre-orders for dog toys, but that could serve as additional capital for additional sapient bot purchases.]

‘Oh, yeah, even better. ...Yeah there’s no convincin’ way for me to say I came up with all that in the time it took me to come here an’ then head back.’

[Right. One moment, I’m passing this all along to 011 as well so it can update Jonathan.]

Content that there isn’t really anything left to work on in preparation for the pending photoshoot, Lucas turns to look at Jonathan with a smile.

“Incomin’, heh.” Once Lucas says this, he taps his forehead twice, then heads over to the urinals.

Jonathan remains standing off to the side with a bit of a vacant expression as he stares at nothing in particular. By the time Lucas has finished relieving himself and finishes washing his hands, Jonathan regains his focus and turns to look at him.

“So, um, I guess… Huh. Maybe say that you, um, were telling me more about that guy making our site and, um, then we thought about all the attention we got today? From the streams? And that that kinda attention was, um, b-because of the famous people we were spending time with?” As Jonathan timidly posits this scenario, Lucas’s face lights up.

“Right, right! Perfect for pointin’ out how much attention it got without us even tryin’, we’d have sold a whole lotta stuff if we had a store! But whattabout gettin’ Mary to lookit the toy guys instead of goin’ at the lab? Uhh… Maybe we can try an’ say to leave that to Dan? Since he might find somethin’ through his animals that four-twenty-nerd couldn’t?” As Lucas supplies his own planning additions, Jonathan nods along a few times.

[...Seriously? If you’re going to give me a nickname, at least don’t have it be something so… Externally suspicious.]

‘Heheh, nerd. Though I can’t call you just ‘nerd’ since that could be confused with Mary too.’

[...]

“Oh, oh! Because of the agreement she’s going to make with Mark!” Jonathan is practically bouncing with excitement as he says this uncharacteristically smoothly.

Considering the look of confusion on Lucas’s face, it doesn’t take Jonathan long to realize he needs to clarify further.

“The toys are made out of, um, crappier enhanced fabric, right? If she’s the only int supe that will be allowed to use M-Mark’s kind, she should check out the opposition!” Once Jonathan says this, Lucas’s face lights up again and he snaps at Jonathan with both hands, transitioning into dual-wielded finger guns afterward.

“Yes! Perfect! Oh, and since she’s so mad at the guys that made her phones, she can lookit their assembly line sayin’ she’s considerin’ hiring them! Even if they’re shady as hell, they at least know how ta slap things together right!” Turns out, Lucas does actually know how to use his brain sometimes.

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Lucas total kills: 7

Lucas total deaths: 11

Lucas total assists: 1

Lucas current GDV: 16.96 (+.01 +.01 = +0.2 net change)

Lucas's fame level: 5.0* (Already beginning to receive authentic global attention. His local levels are effectively maxed.)

Lucas's hero suspicion level: 2.5* (More than just passing suspicion for many paranoid individuals, numerous people have realized he's an impulsive idiot.)

Jonathan total kills: 7

Jonathan total deaths: 2

Jonathan current GDV: 5.80 (+.01 net change)

Jonathan's fame level: 2.5* (What fame he does have is predominantly local.)

Jonathan's hero suspicion level: 3.0* (More than just overly-paranoid people are suspicious at this point.)

Willy's fame level: 1.5* (Anonymous meme fame, local fame primarily as 'Xenoclast's dog', but some strangers know him as William/Willy now.)

Supervillain social circle size: 15

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Little character theater:

Jonathan, nodding vigorously: And! Maria can go with her when she does!

Willy, prancing in place with his tail wagging furiously after Dan offers to go get a nail grinder to deal with his overgrown nails for him before the photos: BARK!

Lucas, taking a few moments to laugh loudly before responding: I can only begin to imagine the mess she’d make once she’s in there!

427, rather pleasantly surprised by their planning: [You guys… Apparently, you two work together better than I even hoped.]

Author, watching Willy with a gentle smile: Poor pupper, they probably hurt, don’t they?

Mr. Quacks, joining in on Lucas and Jonathan’s brainstorming session: Quack!