Chapter 153 - Troll Terrorist

“All right. We got this, now to go get it over with. Man, this’d be so much easier without Mikah around, though.” After saying this, Lucas pauses for a moment, takes a deep breath, and slowly exhales it before heading to the door. As he starts reaching for the handle, he looks over his shoulder at Jonathan, speaking up one more time before pulling the door open for him. “Whelp, here goes nuttin’, yeah?”

Jonathan similarly takes a deep breath, even slapping his cheeks twice before nodding at Lucas and heading out the door.

[...Maybe the two of you ARE stressing over Mikah as much as I am.]

‘I mean, yeah? But, at least with him, he’ll let us know right away if we fuck up. I’m more scared of Mary right now, to be honest.’

[To be fair, you are most likely already well past the point of being suspicious as far as she is concerned. Though, yes, it would certainly be best to avoid casually handing over any additional red flags. If you’re fortunate, she’ll just assume you’re a chaotic idiot, but giving her any clues about my existence would be… troublesome at best.]

‘Tch, why ya always gotta be such a jerk?’

[Heh. You just make it so satisfying. Regardless, you should probably work with Jonathan on getting your minds in the right place, the last thing we need is him managing to catch something incriminating at the edge of his range. Keep up the good work though, I’m legitimately impressed with how well you’ve been handling this so far.]

‘Oho, damn right.’

[...Bzzt…]

‘Tch, no fun. Hmm…’

“Hey, Jon.” Faced with Lucas’s sudden address, Jonathan jumps briefly, as he had been lost in his thoughts at the time.

“Ah! Um, y-yeah?” Before Jonathan is even done stammering out his response, Lucas has snorted out an amused laugh.

“Seriously kid, you are such a ball of nerves. We gotta work on that, somehow.” As Lucas is saying this, Jonathan proceeds to slouch further and further forward with an expression of equal parts sheepishness and awkward regret.

“I… I know. I just… I, um… I-I can’t help it…” While Jonathan fully embraces peak awkwardness, Lucas sighs and reaches across his back, grabbing his far shoulder and shaking him gently a few times.

“I know you can’t just stop it overnight, but damn, kiddo. Ya know, while me an’ Marsha are off breakin’ shit, you should probably just go take a nap or somethin’. At least go spend some more time at the spa and try to relax at least a little. Though I guess that’s kinda hard to do, knowin’ Maria is in the same building, heh. But seriously, nothin’s gonna happen. And, even if it does, it’ll all work out in the end, one way or another. Even if I gotta take care of it for ya, yeah?” While Lucas does a respectably decent job of comforting Jonathan, the poor teen staggers a few steps due to Lucas’s physical affection ministrations upon his shoulder.

“Y-yeah, I-I know… Hehe, how could anyone hope to relax while she’s around?” Jonathan’s tone and expression both lighten up quite a bit by the end of his question, and he even manages to correct his posture. Well, he corrects it slightly, at least.

A bit of a distance away, over by the still idly milling group, Mikah suddenly laughs. He turns in place to face the oncoming duo, holding a hand up to loosely cover his smile.

“Welcome back, you two. Sorry, Jon, it’s just that it was too perfect. She was just debating what to do with that gas can you left behind.” Upon Mikah blatantly selling Miss Chievous out, she shoots him a dirty look.

After a slight delay, Miss Chievous gains an evil grin, and Mikah sighs.

“Do you have any idea how long it took to get the last song out of my head!? You’re an absolute terror!” Despite Mikah’s scolding, or perhaps exactly because of it, Miss Chievous has begun cackling delightedly. He even starts power-walking away from her, but she just follows a few steps behind, keeping pace with him.

Everyone else can’t help laughing along with her, though at least Josephine and Miss Calculated manage to be a bit more reserved about it.

Lucas finally releases his hold on Jonathan’s shoulder, ceasing rocking him back and forth. Thanks to being infected by the general feeling of mischief, he sort of gently shoves Jonathan ahead by slapping the small of his back. It only really wounds Jonathan’s pride, as he’s made to stagger a few steps forward in a notably awkward fashion.

When Jonathan turns to glare at Lucas, he sees him making an ‘okay’ gesture at him with his right hand.

“Go get yer latest arson toy while yer favorite fun-loving terrorist is still bein’ tanked by Mikah.” Lucas has a huge grin after saying this, and makes a shooing gesture at Jonathan with both hands, while he himself just continues walking forward at a leisurely pace.

“Favorite? My ass.” Jonathan mutters with a cross tone and then takes half of a step at super-speed before remembering he really doesn’t want to have to go back to fix his hair yet again, so he just walks over normally, with a slight hustle.

The gas can is, surprisingly, still exactly where he left it. It’s right next to Willy, who seems to be in a particularly good mood, but is actually sitting by himself for the time being.

‘Heh, guess she was too distracted by Sylph. Wait, where is she… Oh, and Dan too, for that matter?’

When Lucas makes this belated realization, Mikah, who is now only a few feet away from Lucas due to the pathing of the merry chase he’s leading Miss Chievous on, looks over at him.

“Ah, he said something that made Willy bark happily and then got up and left without actually saying anything to us. He said something to Sylph too, and she apparently decided to join him. Maria! I can hear you fine! You don’t have to be so loud about it! ARGH!” Poor suffering Mikah barely manages to answer Lucas’s thought before he picks up his pace, and even holds his hands over his ears, as if that helps any.

As amused as Lucas is by Miss Chievous’s antics, he decides to do Mikah a favor, as thanks for the answer.

“All right, that’s enough of that, you.” Even though Lucas attempts to sound strict, his smile is far too obvious, and takes away any potential edge.

Regardless of his impressions given, he reaches out with both hands and hoists Miss Chievous up by the waist, then smoothly slings her over his left shoulder. Once she’s in place, he begins marching over in the direction of her sisters. Meanwhile, she starts ineffectively pounding on his back with both hands and kicking her feet around in the air erratically.

“What!? HEY! PUT ME DOWN!” Similar to Lucas, Miss Chievous’s attempts at sounding stern are greatly diluted by her laughter.

Mikah has a clear look of relief at first, but before long he’s laughing too hard to count as having any semblance of relaxation.

Somehow, despite the flailing gremlin on his shoulder, Lucas manages to keep a mostly even expression as he quietly heads over to the group, greeted by a great deal of laughter.

Stopping directly in front of Miss Calculated, Lucas finally reaches up and picks Miss Chievous back up off of his shoulder by the waist, gently setting her down next to her sister.

“Here, I doubt you were actually lookin’ for her, but yer evil twin escaped again. She needs a leash way more than Willy does, that’s fer sure.” When Lucas finishes saying this, Miss Calculated has gone from amused laughter into sheer hysterics, in the most unreservedly entertained state Lucas has seen her in yet, by a long shot.

“She really does!” Is the only response Miss Calculated can manage beyond additional intense, mirthful laughter, with Miss Masher not far behind on the hysterics scale.

Miss Chievous, in a fuming state, is angrily kicking Lucas as hard as she can, repeatedly, but it doesn’t even make him flinch. Not even once.

-----

Lucas total kills: 7

Lucas total deaths: 11

Lucas total assists: 1

Lucas current GDV: 16.99 (+.01 +.01 +.01 = +0.3 net change)

Lucas's fame level: 5.0* (Already beginning to receive authentic global attention. His local levels are effectively maxed.)

Lucas's hero suspicion level: 2.5* (More than just passing suspicion for many paranoid individuals, numerous people have realized he's an impulsive idiot.)

Jonathan total kills: 7

Jonathan total deaths: 2

Jonathan current GDV: 5.80

Jonathan's fame level: 2.5* (What fame he does have is predominantly local.)

Jonathan's hero suspicion level: 3.0* (More than just overly-paranoid people are suspicious at this point.)

Willy's fame level: 1.5* (Anonymous meme fame, local fame primarily as 'Xenoclast's dog', but some strangers know him as William/Willy now.)

Supervillain social circle size: 15

-----

Little character theater:

Jonathan, oh poor sweet Jonathan, is leaning against the wall laughing every bit as hard as Miss Calculated, he’s even red-faced from it.

Willy is mostly settled down in place, if you don’t count his vigorously wagging tail. Not one to be left out, he’s panting out his own amused laughter from the recent antics.

Lucas, pointedly standing firm and even crossing his arms while he ignores Miss Chievous’s attacks: I’m almost surprised you don’t have some sorta trackin’ device on her. Or, do you?

427, also rather entertained, but a bit concerned as well: ‘Is this enough to distract you and Jonathan into completely forgetting what you just planned over in the restrooms? I wouldn’t put it past you two...’

Author, stifling their laughter over Miss Chievous’s ineffective assault upon Lucas’s ankles: At least she’s dedicated?

Mr.. Quacks, sitting on the gas can, guarding it in the event that Miss Chievous suddenly decides to change targets while Jonathan is far too busy laughing his ass off: Quack.