Chapter 155 - Dogtroductions

Shortly after Dan has exited the front of Faunahorde, he shifts the contents of his right hand over so as to hold both objects with his left hand, and then goes to whistle with the assistance of his now free right hand. However, before he actually starts, the door is shoved open by a small amount by Franz, now reared up on his hind legs and leaning to the side to stick his snoot out the gap of the door in order to bark at Dan inquisitively.

Dan pauses in his movements and turns around to face the questioning doggo, mindful not to move his head too much so as not to disturb her majesty’s roost.

Apparently, Franz is satisfied with the answer Dan quietly gives him, as he shoves the door open further and dashes the few steps over to stand alongside Dan, with his tail wagging energetically the whole time.

Dan smiles with amusement and then continues to make the previously intended whistle, afterward shifting to hold his right hand outstretched before him, palm up.

After a short delay, a rock dove flies over and precisely lands in his waiting hand. He carries it in this fashion as he heads out along the crosswalk, cooing out to it along the way.

Franz is happily trotting alongside him, his tongue hanging out the side of his mouth, with his tail wagging vigorously.

Once Dan makes it to the first step leading up to the doorway for MF’s Fashion Boutique, he tosses his hand up in the air, helping launch the pigeon into flight. As it flies off into the distance, a slowly increasing flock joins it from the sidewalk, nearby ledges, eaves, and roofs, eventually forming an alarmingly large cloud of pigeons, all noisily cooing to one another as they continue to gather.

As the human, dog, and bird trio enter the store, it isn’t long before they reach the edge of the gathered throng of laughing idiots, whose current collective IQ seems to have dropped below Lucas’s normal solo value.

Getting a bit closer, Franz barks out a lively greeting, instantly getting Lucas, Miss Masher, Miss Chievous, and Willy’s attention. Willy even stands up, barking a response, and starts trotting over to meet Franz partway on his journey over to the group.

Willy and Franz stop a short distance from each other, tails lifted and wagging as Dan barks out a formal introduction between the two of them. After his contributions, they proceed with proper pup protocols, becoming intimately familiar with each other’s scent.

The snoot to butt doggy donut earns another round of laughter from the observing dork trio, but Dan is completely unresponsive to this canine business operating as usual.

“Heh, even if yer super-smart, guess it doesn’t change the fact yer still a dog, yeah? Franz, I promise I’m gonna pet the ever-loving shit outta you, but after the pictures, okay? Don’t think I forgot how much you shed on me yesterday! Er, Dan, could you-?” As Lucas comments and then starts making his request, Dan breaks out laughing and then growls out a few subvocalizations to Franz.

Upon receiving Dan’s translation, Franz looks directly at Lucas and gives an enthusiastic bark, his tail somehow wagging even more fiercely than it was before.

With this exchange complete, Dan heads back over to his previous location near the wall, patting the ground in front of him and giving a dog-speak invitation for Willy to join him.

As Willy happily trots over, he pauses a moment to pick up the Black Ash Snow chewtoy and offers it to Franz. Franz eagerly accepts, immediately proceeding to begin his own round of quality assurance testing, with gusto.

“Oh, now we’ll really see how well they hold up. Anything that survives Franz’s affection for longer than five minutes is excellent quality, in my book.” Dan has an amused smile as he says this, then turns his attention back over to Willy.

“If he wrecks it, I’ll get you a new one, don’t worry. Though, it might actually hold up? Ah, and here, I got one of the elastic band ornamental ones for you, it’s much more comfortable than a normal collar according to every single dog I’ve asked so far.” As Dan says this, he holds up a red satin-finish bowtie mounted onto what looks like a large scrunched-up fabric hair tie.

Willy gives a delighted bark, diving forward and half-climbing onto Dan’s lap to slip his snoot into the band, his tail wagging so fast it’s almost a blur as he stands back up.

Dan has a lighthearted laugh as he gently sets down the small handheld nail grinder he had brought over along with the requested tie. With his hands now free, he helps Willy adjust the bowtie so it is properly centered in the front for him.

Once the tie is neatly in position, Willy nuzzles and licks the side of Dan’s face, then prances over to sit down in front of Lucas, barking up at him.

There’s a chorus of “Aww”’s from several of the people present, and Lucas can’t help smiling. Briefly looking down at his own red silk tie, his smile broadens into a huge grin.

‘One of us! One of us!’

“You’re not nakey anymore! Hmm, very good, a proper dapper Lynn, for sure. Go on and get your nails did, we can start doin’ some pics for Mr. Quacks first while ya get ready.” While Lucas is saying this there is a mix of snickers from a few of the others present, and once he’s done Willy makes an enthusiastic bark before charging back over to Dan. He rolls over at the last moment in such a way that he lands on his back on Dan’s lap, legs sprawled up in the air, earning quite a bit more laughter.

“Pfft, if only it was always this easy. Even being able to talk to them and insist I’ll be careful so it won’t hurt, lots of animals are still really anxious thanks to a few bad experiences at home. Hmm, let’s see how far out the quicks have grown, we’re probably going to have to do several sessions each a week apart before we can get you down to a nice short length.” Dan looks up at Lucas for part of his explanation, but his attention is back on Willy before long.

Before Dan tilts his head forward to get to work, he does make a point of whistling to his benevolent ruler, leading to Sylph hopping up to fly over to land on Lucas’s shoulder.

‘Yesss, I have been blessed, I am the chosen one!’

While Lucas is grinning happily and gently petting Sylph with the tips of his index and middle fingers, he turns his attention over towards Jonathan. Before he even speaks up, Jonathan rubs Willy’s belly twice before standing up, spiriting Mr. Quacks out from where he was hiding in his pants pocket.

“HOW!?” Miss Chievous had been watching Jonathan’s actions and reflexively shouts out her confusion over the fact he had managed to keep Mr. Quacks fully hidden, eliciting a laugh from Lucas.

“I keep forgettin’ just how scrawny of a brat ya really are underneath that suit. Tch, both you an’ Willy are all skin and bones. Won’t be stayin’ that way for long, though, if I got any say in the matter, heh.” After Lucas says this, Dan pauses his grooming session briefly to glare up at him.

“It better be with HEALTHY food. Even though Willy knows better, he’s still going to be limited by what you make available for him. I’m sure he’ll let you know what he likes in short order, but chances are he won’t be very fussy, since dogs do only have about one-sixth of our taste buds, after all.” After saying this, Dan pauses for a moment to make a dismissive snort before continuing.

“Frankly, I’d say canned food would basically be an insult, I can write up a list of simple things that you can make in just a few minutes with little effort, and recommend a few kinds of kibble just to have something for him to snack on if he’s a bit hungry at random. Anything that I keep stocked is something I’m comfortable vouching on the quality of, so even if you’re gonna buy from other stores at least make sure it’s a product I normally carry.” Once Dan finishes saying this, he gently holds one of Willy’s front paws steady with his left hand, bringing the grinder over with his right hand to resume his ministrations.

“Yeah, yeah, MOM. I know I can’t just feed him like, burgers and fries all the time, heh. ...Canned food really would be insulting, wouldn’t it? Though, I guess anything is better than scavenging the streets like you were doin’ before…” Lucas’s answer causes Dan to make another dissatisfied snort, but he doesn’t deign to answer with spoken words.

Willy, however, does give a sorrowful bark in agreement with Lucas’s closing remark.

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Lucas total kills: 7

Lucas total deaths: 11

Lucas total assists: 1

Lucas current GDV: 17.01 (+.01 net change)

Lucas's fame level: 5.0* (Already beginning to receive authentic global attention. His local levels are effectively maxed.)

Lucas's hero suspicion level: 2.5* (More than just passing suspicion for many paranoid individuals, numerous people have realized he's an impulsive idiot.)

Jonathan total kills: 7

Jonathan total deaths: 2

Jonathan current GDV: 5.80

Jonathan's fame level: 2.5* (What fame he does have is predominantly local.)

Jonathan's hero suspicion level: 3.0* (More than just overly-paranoid people are suspicious at this point.)

Willy's fame level: 1.5* (Anonymous meme fame, local fame primarily as 'Xenoclast's dog', but some strangers know him as William/Willy now.)

Supervillain social circle size: 15

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Little character theater:

Jonathan and Lucas have begun Mr. Quacks’s photoshoot in earnest, utilizing Lucas’s phone as the primary camera. He’s been posed in the hands of several of the people present, in the hands of and also on top of a mannequin, and even on top of one of the quietly cooperative service bots.

427, after making a thoughtful hum: ‘Well, that saves me some effort on Willy’s dietary care, at least. ...Who am I kidding, Lucas will probably ask me to double-check anyway.’

Author, holding a few bandanas and scarves to use as accessories for Mr. Quacks: Here, here, use this one next!

Mr. Quacks, completely dedicated to doing his utmost in displaying his full splendor as the organization’s mascot throughout every shot: Quack!