183 SCARED

Why it happened with me, everything I was afraid to happen, happened, when it all started I was so confused, I did not want to involve, not because I did not like Ayan, but because I was scared of getting a heartbreak, 

But look what happened, he said he is not sure about him, I told him at the beginning that I please do everything but never break my heart, I am not strong, he even promised to me that he will never break my heart, 

But see what he did, now what the fuck I will do, I should have a think thousands of times before getting involved with him, but no, what I did, he was right, I rushed and he left, 

I wanted to cry a lot, but I was a girl who used to think that I will never cry over a boy, never, ever, but what I am doing, crying like a teenager, 

I heard the door's sound and I quickly lie down and covered my face, I just do not want to tell Suhani at this time, she is happy and I do not want to spoil her mood, 

I put my palms on the mouth to cover it, so she just could not listen to my sobs, because I was still sobbing, 

She opened the door and slowly closed it, she removed her slippers and lie down next to me, I was trying hard not to move because she should think that I slept, 

"Jhummi, we need to talk", she said, but I did not move, not even an inch, 

"Jhummi, I know you are not sleeping, so get up and talk to me, baby, please", she said again with so much politeness, I want to get up and talk but I do not want to cry again like crazy, 

"Jhummi, please get the fuck up, I know you are not sleeping, so better you get and talk to me right now", she said and removed the duvet from my face, 

I get up and hugged her so tightly, as tears were rolling down to my cheeks and I was sobbing so hard, 

"Shhh, hey, do not cry baby, just tell me what happened", she said as she was patting my back and caressing my hair, 

I do not know why I can not control my fucking emotions, I told myself hundreds of times that I will not fucking cry, but still, I am crying like there is no tomorrow, 

"Jhummi, please baby, stop crying, just tell me everything okay and we will sort it out", she said as she pushed me a little and wiped my face,

"Everything is over Suhani, it is finished", I said between my sobs and she looked at me with a surprising look, 

"What, why, I mean just tell me what happened, did you said something wrong to him, or it is because you were angry with him", she asked me and I was shaking my head, 

"Then what happened, now will you please tell me", she asked as I could see she was looking so worried about me, 

"Ayan told me to take care of you when I was coming down", said Suhani and I looked at her, 

"Jhummi, your this type of behaviour is scaring me, please tell me what exactly happened", she said and cupped my face, 

"I, I just expressed my feelings, I said everything I feel for him, I told him he is the first guy I fell for, and I want to be with him", I said between my sobs and hiccups, why the hell these stupid tears are not stopping, 

"Okay, that is amazing, you proposed him Jhummi, the first time in your life you proposed a guy", said Suhani in excitement, as she was waiting for this moment from so long, I never get involved with anyone, and she wanted me to propose a guy, but I never get interested in anyone, 

"Okay, sorry, I did not mean to do that, what happened after that, was not he happy, how did he react", she asked and I sobbed again, 

"He said he is not sure about me", I said and I cried again and she was looking so surprised, seems like she could not believe what I said, she is exactly like me, I know it is hard to believe, but it was the truth, 

"What, how could he say that maybe he was kidding Jhummi, Neel was saying me that he usually does stupid things, he is joking I am sure", said Suhani, but I did not reply, and she knows that he was not joking at all, 

She was looking at me without blinking her eyes and then she pulled me into a hug, and I cried on her shoulder, I cried a lot, I cried a lot until my eyes got swollen and all tears dried, my head was exploding, and I was feeling breathless, 

I closed my eyes so tightly, I just do not want to think about him anymore, Suhani scared as she saw my condition, 

I was feeling like I am gonna die, I know I was feeling this way since evening but I did not take my medicine, I thought I will sleep and I will be fine in the morning, but after crying this much my head could not take this much pressure, and I ended up like this, 

"Jhummi, I have to call Neel, please do not say no, your condition is getting worst, and I am sure you do not want to end up in the hospital, 

I wanted to refuse her, but I was not able to speak, my eyes were getting heavy as well as my head, I was feeling like someone throw a big rock stone on my head, 

I was shaking my head, I do not want to bother Neel at this time, and especially when Ayan is here, I do not want him to see me like this, this thing made me cry more, I hold Suhani's hand and shook my head again, but she freed herself and put my hand on my stomach, 

"Jhummi, do not be stupid, look at your condition, it is getting worst, I am just coming back in two minutes, okay", she said and quickly opened the door, and went out, 

I was holding my head with my both hands, 

It was worst than before, it was too hard to handle, I closed my eyes so tightly, I heard the footsteps, oh God he is coming, 

I took a deep breath and wiped my face, I am fine, I am fine, I was saying myself, as I turned my direction and lie down, Neel came running to me, I could hear him, he was breathing so hard,

"Jhummi, what happened", he asked as he came and sat beside me, I know he will not leave so easily, and he would know in just two seconds if I pretend to sleep, I know I have to answer, I took a deep breath, and turned towards him, 

"Nothing happened Neel, I m all fine, I said Suhani not to bother you, but she is so stupid", I said fake laughed, I was feeling like someone is beating my head by a hammer, I closed my eyes so tightly, 

"How the hell you dared to lie to me Jhummi, just look at four fucking eyes", he yelled and that is it, I can not handle it more, 

"What happened just tell me", he said as he cupped my face and I gave up, tears started rolling down to my eyes again and my sobbing was all you could hear in my room, 

He got scared as he saw me like this, it is been long as he is seeing me like this, I used to have migraine attacks before, but after Suhani I got improved a lot, but now, I am feeling like I m gonna die, 

"Jhummi, look at your condition, you again had an attack, why the hell you did not tell me before", he said as he was looking so panic, I was just holding my head with my hands, I want to sleep, a peaceful sleep, 

Neel quickly opened the drawer and picked an injection and I closed my eyes so tightly, and he gave me the injection and rubbed my arm with a piece of cotton, 

Neel was looking so tensed, I know I scared him, 

I never liked injections but I am too bad with handling pains, I was feeling my eyes were getting heavier than before, I saw Suhani's crying face before closing my eyes completely,