Chapter 3 - Rise to Fame by Accident

Proofreader: Yin Jing

The piggy fatty, who seems to be a diehard fan of Flora, suddenly jumps to his feet with extremely bulky body, his plump hands thumping the table with a huge noise.

“I have had enough, you shameless bastard! How dare you comment on Flora’s performance! If I don’t kick your ass now, I am not Big Fat Lei any more!” He walks towards Heaven, step by step, trembling the wooden floor.

Damn it! Does he want a shit fight? Oh I should take the advantage of attacking first. The pen knife hidden in Heaven’s sleeve is moved to his hand without being noticed, and he is ready for an attack. All the audiences in the hall are shocked by bearlike growl from the piggy fatty, going to silence at one blow, then focusing their eyes on them.

“Wait.” A silvery voice breaks the silence. It’s Flora who walks up to them with deliberate steps. “Mr. Lei, here the Palace of Art and Fragrance is a place for the recreation of refined scholars rather than a fighting place for yokels. If you have got something to say, keep your composure, please. Fighting is not refined scholars’ style.” With her words, she took a very strange look at Heaven.

The piggy fatty turns from a hero to a coward immediately. He talks to Flora with an adulatory look on his face. “Miss Flora, as a qualified refined scholar of the Great An, how could I do such rude things! This is nothing but his sharp words—he questioned your skill of playing the Zheng! That’s why I…” Fatty leaves the unspoken words hanging in the middle of the air, which causes public outrage, however. All the audiences keep their eyes on Heaven maliciously, expecting to tear Heaven into pieces.

“Sir, it seems that you are very accomplished with playing Zheng, so I wonder if you could give me some directions?” Flora smiles at Heaven charmingly, but her words are a little bit sardonic.

Shit! How dare she play with the artificial smiles before me! Not knowing how high the sky is.

“Ah, Miss Flora, just tune him out. I didn’t mean that. I just thought that this song was not the best select, but I still highly appreciate your skills and techniques.” Whoops, as a fraud, it’ll be hard to cheat some money if he provokes public outrage.

“Humph, a total philistine not knowing anything about rhymes and melodies dare make audacious remarks so proudly here!” Fatty says disdainfully, curling his lips.

Damn it, this shit fatty just wants to fight, right? I, Heaven am very angry now, which will lead to sheer catastrophe.

“Fat bro, you wouldn’t say that. You are actually not vulgar, but a little bit overstaffed.”

Hahaha! Laughter falls around them, even the two pseudo childes are laughing with hands covering their mouths. Fatty becomes so angry that all the pimples on his face even glow. “You! I owe you one hundred taels if you can play any songs as well as Miss Flora. If you can’t, crawling out of this hall is enough and I will not ask for anything from you. You, such a tattler, let’s make a bet if you dare.”

A number of audiences in the hall kick up a row simultaneously. Seeing that, Flora hurries to persuade them: “Oh, gentlemen, just forget about it. Everyone is here to support me. Don’t hurt the kindness.”

Heaven understands that she is trying to help him in case he loses and feels shameful. Thus he looks at Flora gratefully, and nods to her with a tender smile, whispering “thanks, honey.” Flora blushes slightly. How can this gentleman call her honey when they just barely met.

Heaven laughs and turns around, saying “Well, I’ll play a song. But what’s the wager if I win accidentally!?”

“How ignorant!”

“How arrogant!”

“That’s the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard till now!”

“So ignorant that he couldn’t realize how great our Sun God is!”

Heaven has stimulated so much cynicism before he finishes his words. In their view, that Heaven dares to compete against Flora in playing Zheng is similar to the action that Pan Changjiang, the short man, competes against Yao Ming in height! It is just a matter of course. Alas! A degeneration of public morality!

“Well, it’s a deal. Here are the notes of a hundred tael. I put them here.” with great fear that Heaven might regret, Fatty immediately puts the notes on the table and calls a waiter to check them.

“Raise! Plus 50 taels more!”

“Ha-ha, raise, too. Another jeweler! Raise! 60 taels!”

After a while, a mountain of notes and taels is piled up by those rich young men who come here for fun. They elbow their way through and push others aside to re-bet, lest they will be looked down upon. There is no doubt that they will definitely win this deal in their minds. It’s nothing better than regaining their money, seeing the fun and showing off at the same time.

Seeing the heaps of bank notes and taels, even the managers of the Palace of Art and Fragrance trot here green-eyed. Flora sighs slightly, and shakes her head reluctantly. In such a situation, it is inappropriate to stop them.

After a while, through counting, the general manager declares with great excitement, “Mr. Lei…And, may I have your name, please?”

“Heaven Li.”

“Oh, the sum of all the wager is one thousand and three hundred taels. Win or lose, we are going to take 10% away.”

Oh my gosh, so unscrupulous! But for these wealthy men, it doesn’t matter to lose just 10%.

In a fanfare of cynicism, Heaven waves and says: “Since it is a bet, I sincerely invite Miss Flora and these two gentlemen to be the notaries. Is it okay with everyone?” Finishing his words, he demonstrably glances at the two pseudo childes.

“It can’t be better! My elder sis…brother and I will be the best notaries! We have watched Miss Flora’s outstanding performances!” The girl named Wang Qing is so delighted as to spill the beans.

The rest agree. As for Heaven, he is afraid of coming across unfair calls. Almost all the audiences take the gamble, if all of them were to have infinite faith in his definite failure, except crawling out of the hall, his legs must be broken by those crude janitors here.

Everything is ready. In everyone’s ardent eyes, Heaven takes steps to the stage, then touches the strings. He has not played the Zheng for a long time, so now Heaven is not sure about his skills. Back to the old days, to cultivate a supreme fraud, his unscrupulous master trained him by using sticks and practice torture so that his skills of music, chess, calligraphy and painting were all superb and exquisite. In this life, Heaven isn’t willing to ruin his master’s reputation — his own reputation should not be that worthy, but crawling out here is really a big deal!

Heaven sits down slowly, closes his eyes slightly. With clips of his last life flows one by one in his mind, a spirit of confidence rises from the bottom of Heaven’s heart, as if having taken a tranquilizer. By Zheng, I can even sing rock and roll! How should I frighten these guys! The problem is what they like. Metal, Punk, Soul, Hip hop or rap? If I showed all of these at one time, what wait for me must be rotten eggs and tomatoes. Gosh, something elegant might be the best choice. It’s up to God. Just like an old saying goes, “Go on your own way, let others be on crowded buses!”

A nationwide famous Zheng music “High Mountain and Flowing Water” debuts in this society today. However, this fairly elegant and transcendent melody is used as a tool to gamble.

After finishing the song, Heaven, who loses him in the rhyme, slowly lifts his head, waiting for applause and cheers.

Silent. Quite silent, with no hurrah. Flora comes with slow steps, and she takes a deep breath with her trembling finger pointing at Heaven. “You call this playing? You call it a song? Impossible! Absolutely impossible!” Then she turns to the two fake gentlemen or the two judges for help. “Am I right?” Both of them nod without hesitation.

I lost, here must be a shit unfair call. How disappointing it is that in order to be invincible, a girl could do such a thing! Until now, Heaven starts to realize how vicious women can be! And those two “gentlemen”, they stand together to bully me! A loyal rustic! God! Is there still justice? Beaded drops of sweat flow from his forehead.

Flora turns herself around to Heaven, trembling slightly. She is either excited or feels sorry for Heaven. She asks softly: “Sir, what was the name of the song that you played just now?”

“High Mountain and Flowing Water.” Heaven is out of heart just like a defeated rooster.

“Did you write it?”

“Nope.”

“I bet you can’t! This kind of melody cannot come from the land of the living! It must be the granting of the Sun God! Only in the heaven can it be heard! Thank you! I lose!”

Eh-hem! Heaven almost loses his breath. Oh God, did I hear it right? He looks at the judges for help, only to find that they nod immediately, gazing at him with admiring eyes. And nodding may be the only thing they are able to do now. Heaven stands up superciliously — he feels awesome!

The applause has continued for almost five minutes, and of course, that’s Heaven’s estimation. Surrounded by admiring eyes, the general manager walks to him with plenty of bank note and taels and says with a smile from ear to ear: “What a genius you are! Sir, here is all your gains, already except the fee of our service. The total sum is one thousand one hundred and seventy taels. Here are two five-hundred bank notes. And the left are all ready money. Count it, please.”

“No need.” Heaven reaches to take the bank notes, but ignores the ready money.

“All those present today are wealthy, but there are still a great amount of poor people! Manager, please hand out some rice porridge with the ready money for me. The affliction of people is my torture, and it is really good that everyone is good!” Amidst the gazes of reverent and ashamed onlookers, the adoration towards Heaven reaches a new peak, even the fatty lowers his piggy head in shame.

Oh Ox-headed and Horse-faced, you two should keep in mind that these are earned dignified and imposing by gambling. What’s more, I have done a good deed! When the day I come back to the hell again, you should give me a great life. If you guys want to transfer me into a hog or a dog or any other livestock, I will file a complaint against you for attacking my personality.

The general manager holds Heaven’s hands tightly, says in shame: “I have never thought that Mr. Li was of so much kindheartedness. It’s my shame. Thus I decide to donate five more taels in handing out porridge, in stand of our business.” However, his words only elicit consuming discontentment and disdain.

The general manager strongly invites Heaven to write a few words as a memorial. Under this forceful invitation, Heaven finishes a few pieces of writing in a while.

The sun is setting in the west!

The lake of Pingdu is so quiet!

Play my beloved lute!

Look at those charming beauties giving out porridge!

The general manager bursts into tears as if he finds out an ancient treasure after reading Heaven’s work. Heaven has never thought that such self-contradictory words could be highly prized by literati and poets! Then this work soon becomes a famous name of the tunes to which the poets are composed, which is called “Beauties in the West” for short. What’s more, “High Mountain and Flowing Water” is known as a miraculous song.

“Mr. Heaven, could you please come with me to the back hall? I want to ask for some advice.” Flora says tenderly.

A beauty wants to make an appointment! I can’t be brusque towards a honey!

But suddenly he feels something unkind in those two “gentlemen”. Oh Gosh, here are two more beauties. I cannot let them look down on me. “Thanks for your invitation. It’s my first time to come here, and my intention is just to broaden my horizon, not for any other things. The national examination is only a few days away, so I have to brush up.” Haste makes waste. If Heaven goes inside the room with Flora, all the adoration may switch to disdain outright.

Flora is very depressed but the two “gentlemen” nod with contention. Heaven makes a bow mildly to Flora: “Goodbye, Miss Flora.” But then whispers to her, “I’ll definitely be back one day.”

The blush of Flora is like peach blossom. She murmurs to him in return, “Stud.” Alas, what is this girl thinking about?

“ ‘Gentlemen’, see you in the examination place.” Saying that, Heaven walks towards the gate in an grand manner.

In this case, one must maintain his or her etiquette without any hesitation. Ouch, life is difficult, for a celebrity it is even more difficult.

A few days later, a big deal that is worthy of being recorded in the history happens in Pingdu of the Great An. The famous Palace of Art and Fragrance sets up temporary huts which can provide the poor with rice porridge. Lack of enough staff, almost all the waiters and inferior prostitutes have to come to help with this charity. And for the sake of enhancing the images of Palace of Art and Fragrance, all the staffs wear uniforms which are nearly transparent white. Some rich young men pretend to be the poor to come here, but they never need any pickles even a bowl, what attract them most are the beauties. Shortly after this news is spread, flocks of poor people and beggars who live near the town swarms into the palace. It is really a spectacular.

Having heard of such an earthshaking event happened in his territory, Marquis Wang Ping immediately transmits a memorial to the throne. Not only that, he sends a plaque that inscribed by himself, on which written “White Fairies”, to the Palace of Art and Fragrance.

To Heaven’s great regret, he didn’t ask for any contact information from the two sisters. Even a SNS is okay! Because it occurred to Heaven suddenly that in this society women were not allowed to take part in the national examination, thus the luck of meeting the two beautiful sisters will depend on God.

Alas! The exam will start tomorrow. Heaven is not at all certain about the possibility of entering the top ten. Whether the Four Books and Five Classics are within the scope of the exam is not sure in this society. He cannot keep all those knowledge in mind. The poetry from the ancient Tang and Song dynasty seem to be not very popular here either.