Chapter 2 - A Blessing in Disguise

Proofread by Yin Jing

Humanity on the earth is not the only creature in dharmadhatu—there is different mankind living in the other space. The only difference between them is the slow development, which is equivalent to the cultural, scientific and technological level of ancient China on the earth.

In a shabby temple, an old couple prays devoutly. “The Great Sun God! We’re old now and have no child. We want to adopt a child to run the family business. Can your Grace please give us some suggestions?”

After saying that, the old couple fetches out oblations and puts them in order. The husband lights three sticks of incense and inserts them into the censer. They kneel reverently to the altar.

Just then, dark clouds gather all at once. There came a flash of lightning, leaving a huge hole in the roof. At the same time, a meatball from the sky knocks a one-meter-deep crater in the ground.

The whole temple shakes. The couple flopped down in awe. Not until the clouds disperse and sun shines again do they pluck up courage to crawl to the crater, trembling with fear. For a moment, what they see makes them wide-eyed and speechless—in the crater lies a naked man.

The naked man is the reincarnated Ma Yi. At the moment he stepped into the Mirror of Six-Realm Samsara, his body exploded, but then rapidly forming a new body. Due to the overwhelming impact, most of Ma Yi’s new-born skeleton gets fractured. Lying in the crater, Ma Yi feels a sharp pain, but he stares blankly as if he is insensible to pain. “I’m doomed. My reincarnation is a hog!” he thought, considering what happened just now.

“Son, a God-given son! My dear, look! The Sun God gives us such a big boy! Boohoo…thanks to the Sun God, our family finally has an offspring!” When saying that, the two elders burst into tears in excitement.

Son? Are there any people willing to consider a hog as their son? Even if there is, the birth of such an“offspring” is owed to ox-headed and horse-faced demons rather than the Sun God! In perplexity, Ma Yi looks at these two elders standing by the pit. He turns his neck hard. Gosh, I’m not a hog but a man, a man with the memory of his previous life! He gets fainted due to great happiness.

When Ma Yi opens his eyes again, he finds himself lying in the house of the old couple, who are smiling broadly at him. After many hours’ care, he has no choice but to accept his new identity, Li Dafu’s son! He is named Li Heaven for his new father maintains that he is a gift from Heaven. But the name of his mother is Cuihua, which is conventional.

Thanks to more than a month of intensive care from two elders, Ma Yi’s fractured bones—no, now he is Li Heaven—have healed marvelously. Meanwhile he has known basic information of this society from his new parents.

This is a peaceful feudal country called the Great An, whose social structure is similar to that of ancient China. The country has seven neighbor countries but it is the most powerful one. He is living in the field of a Marquis, Wang Ping. Without war for ages, most of people value literary talents above martial arts. According to international conventions, the national quality of the Great An is good. What excites Li Heaven most is that Chinese language and characters are used here. They are called the Great An’s language and characters according to people here. Although the two elders live a frugal life, Li Heaven is satisfied with their life.

After having been bedridden for a month, Heaven is able to walk. He stretches, looks at his clothes, then finds a bronze mirror and takes a look at his face. Although it can’t be seen clearly, in general it’s a fairly handsome face of a sixteen or seventeen boy instead of an ugly face of a hog.

Now that he comes here, he can’t keep doing nothing for the family. At first he should make some money.

When Li Dafu knows his idea, Li Heaven’s plan of going out to make money seems to fall on stony ground. Cuihua also strongly disapproves, “My son, neither your father nor I am young. The acres of land in our family are all yours. We can’t bear to see you suffer outside.”

Even though they just live together for over a month, Heaven is deeply moved by their selfless love. In consequence, he stays half a year additionally at home. To his surprise, the daily routine of wood-chopping and water-carrying strengthens his physique day by day. Of course, Heaven practices Kungfu that he knew in his prelife. Considering there is no blade in current society, he forges a sharp knife in a smithy. With great efforts and practice, Heaven became a master of knife. Suppose he is about to steal from someone, the target definitely suffers immeasurable losses.

Besides, he is still proficient in calligraphy and painting that he mastered in his previous life, which is basic skills of a ‘famous’ swindler. It was such skills that helped him to win women’s affection and coax them into giving up their virginity in the prelife. Well, it is not easy to be a swindler.

Knowing that Heaven is able to write, the old couple is so excited that once again they thank the Sun God—People in the Great An are true believers of him. From their perspective, both good harvest and wealth are a given by the Sun God.

In the twenty-eighth year of the Great An, it has been the seventh month since Heaven becomes a member of this world. The emperor issues an edict, marking the start of the quadrennial national examination for literati. After that, the top ten of each field will go to the capital city to take the final exam in the royal palace.

Hearing the news, Heaven eventually persuades his parents into agreeing with his decision about taking the exam.

The next day, Cuihua tearfully prepares sixty eggs and thirty pancakes for Heaven. There is also some money and Heaven knows that it is all the savings of their frugal life. Under the firm gaze of wrinkle-faced Li Dafu, Heaven sets off for Pingdu, the main city of the field.

He walks around outside, and then sneaks into home to leave both the money and a letter. Although Cuihua and Dafu can’t read, he is sure that they will turn to literate people. Once again he stares at his home, and hardly tears himself hard away from the place where he has lived for more than half a year.

There are more than seventy miles from their house to Pingdu. With a skinny donkey as the only vehicle, Heaven doesn’t arrive at Pingdu until evening. The first thing he does is to sell off the donkey and all the eggs. Disappointedly, he just earns less than two taels of silver. Besides, he also gives all the pancakes to beggars. In this difficult situation, he has no choice but to rob the rich.

The first rule of the Law of Swindler: whenever it is, the appearance must be valued. Therefore, Heaven buys a decent outfit. He stays at a first-class hotel—it is the second rule of the Law of Swindler: wealthy or not, the first-class hotel must be chosen.

“Hey, dude, I’d like some delicious side dishes and the high-class liquor.” Saying so, Heaven hands the last silver to the server without hesitation. “The rest is yours.”

The server’s eyes light up. As for him, the status of Heaven has reached to a new level.

Heaven spends all his money in eating and drinking. Undoubtedly, it seems that if he can’t earn much money, he will be thrown out of the hotel at once. With the hospitable guidance of the server, Heaven goes to the best-known brothel in Pingdu, that is, Place of Art and Beauty. What a regret! Such a delicate word is the name of a whorehouse!

Heaven swaggers into the Place of Art and Fragrance, which is completely different from that in his imagination. He thought that he would be surrounded and greeted by a crowd of women. But actually many scholars and poets sit there, sipping tea gently. They totally immerse themselves in the Chinese zither performance of a comely girl, now and then applauding. None of servers notice Heaven’s arrival.

Is brothel here different? Or human quality here already goes to such an extent? It is nothing like a pleasure-seeking place. Such a good order can only be found in parliament! Heaven looks around the hall and finally sets a target—a fat person. According to the swindler’s motto, fat person must be either a hidden master or an idiot. Considering the fat body and acne all over the face, he must be the latter. With two thin servants standing by him, the fat seems to be wealthy.

“Sir,” an admiring smile appears on Heaven’s face. “Among all people in the hall, you are the strongest one. I wonder whether I could hobnob with you, bro?”

His flattery takes effect. “Of course! Despite being the outstanding figure, I have a modest heart. Please feel free to take a seat. Server, give me the best Tea of the Great An. It’s my treat.”

“It’s so kind of you! My treat today.”

“Bro, make yourself at home. I love making friends! Just take a seat.”

Heaven sits down sheepishly. After the conversation, he realizes that all people are waiting for Ya Fang, the unsurpassed beauty, hoping to hear her play a tune. And if fortunate enough, they may have the honor to talk with her alone for a while.

“Gosh, what do these idiots want to do? Splurge just for this? ‘Ya Fang’ sounds like a cosmetic! Alas, all of them are stupid! ”

“Sir, do you plan to make love with her after the talk? She must be beautiful and I’m sure spending a night with her must be an ecstasy!” Heaven firmly believes that it is what these men think.

But the fatty looks at him in astonishment. With face downcast, he fumes: “Vulgar! How vulgar it is! God, it’s shameless for me, an intellectual to consider sex! You are insulting my great personality! I won’t sit with you any more!” With a snort, he brings his servants to another table, only leaving Heaven a disdainful glare.

Oh, nowadays even a whore-master is noble! As a man and a swindler, I’m such a loser that even a piggy fatty looks down upon me!

The depressed Heaven smells an elegant fragrance, then he sees two handsome men take their seats. No wonder they choose to sit with him, as other tables are not available. The departure of the fatty, whose great figure has occupied a space for two people, just leaves vacancy for them.

Heaven looks at the newcomers in disgust. Are they homosexuals? If not, why do two sissies spray themselves with perfume? But after a careful scan, he realizes that they are two girls disguised as men. In his prelife, he had got along with numerous women, and Heaven sees through their disguise without effort. What attracts him is their beauty. In his opinion, these two girls definitely can be classified as the first-class beauty.

“Seize every opportunity” is one of the swindler’s mottoes. Of course Heaven won’t miss this heaven-sent opportunity. He is experienced enough to get the most sophisticated women’s heart, let alone two inexperienced girls!

“Hello, it’s the first time I’ve been to Pingdu, and I’ve never expected to meet so many talents. I guess, outstanding as you are to attend the examination as well? My name is Li Heaven, may I have the honor to know you?” Heaven smiles sincerely. He is confident of the credibility of this smile—when he practiced in front of a mirror in the past, even he himself was nearly cheated by it.

The older girl smiles back. “Hello, we’re going to attend the exam too. This is my little brother Wang Qing and I’m Wang Hong. Nice to meet you.” Wang Qing nods in acknowledgement.

Wow, what an enchanting smile! Heaven tries hard to prevent from giving himself away. The sixth rule in chapter four of the Law of Swindler: No matter what woman you face, obscene expression is forbidden. Inwardly you can be dirty and shameless but outwardly you must be calm and composed.

Heaven is about to say something else but a burst of applause in the hall pulls his thoughts back to the stage. A classical beauty slowly steps onto the stage. It must be Ya Fang. Actually she is a beauty, but by Heaven’s standard, she is still a bit inferior to the two girls beside him.

Ya Fang slightly lowers her head, taking her seat by Chinese zither. She plays the Chinese zither, making a melodious tune. No one makes a sound and all people are preoccupied with the music. Heaven gives up the thought of talking with the disguised men when noticing that they also lose themselves in the performance. These performance are good, but he has no interest in them. It is boring and disappointing due to the monotonous score and technique. He expected to listen to authentic music but obviously the level of music of this age is low.

Applause bursts when the performance ends. People are glowing, applauding desperately, as if they have taken Viagra. Well, Heaven shakes his head reluctantly.

His expression is seen by Wang Qing. She frowns slightly: “Li, is there any wrong with Flora’s performance or…?”

She doesn’t say further but Heaven knows her implication that he may be a layman in music. As a high-level swindler, he won’t miss such an opportunity: “I mean, Ya Fang does play well but her tune and technique are still a bit humdrum. With some improvement it will be better.” Considering the noisy hall, he raises his voice. Unfortunately, this comment irritates a person, a big cheese.