Chapter 1433 - Balancing (2)

JoAnna got out of the bathroom, ready for the night and she entered a completely dark bedroom. Actually, the bedroom is not completely dark, there are few candles lit up on the side, but because she exited a brightly lit bathroom, it will take her few seconds for her eyes to adjust so that she can see them.

JoAnna was confident that she left the lights on and she wondered if the lightbulb died.

JoAnna opened the bathroom door to maximize the light from there so that she can find a switch or maybe some lamp. She is not familiar with this room.

JoAnna paused when she noticed a dim light from the coffee table in the sitting area. There are five candles and a covered bowl and a food-serving bell.

"Hi Anna…", Jeff's voice startled her. It took her a second to see him standing on her left, few steps away.

When she saw things on the table, she assumed it's his doing, but she didn't expect to hear his voice so suddenly.

Jeff had a nervous smile on his face and spoke: "Please, take a seat on the sofa. I would like to tell you something."

JoAnna sat and looked at him expectantly.

"I've made your favorites…", he said while removing the lid from the bowl, revealing saffron vegetable fried rice.

JoAnna's attention was on the two bandages on his right hand. She knows that he is not much of a cook, yet he still did this for her.

He removed the food-serving bell, revealing a cake.

"It's a vanilla and chocolate ice-cream cake."

JoAnna's eyes darted from the cake to Jeff. "You made it?"

"Yes.", Jeff responded. "It didn't turn out exactly how it says on the website, but it tastes good. I think."

JoAnna was not sure how to respond to this. It is sweet from him to cook for her, and if she says that she is not touched, she would be lying.

Jeff cleared his throat a few times and to JoAnna's surprise, he started singing in a low voice:

"When you look at me like I am a stranger

I feel all alone, and in grave danger…"

He made small steps around the table, toward her, and continued:

"I don't have dreams other than being with you

Without your warmth, I don't know what to do.

I know I wronged you and things will not be like before

But I believe that we can save our love…"

Jeff extended his hand toward JoAnna, palm up while singing:

"I will take all the blame for breaking your heart

Please, hold my hand and don't allow us to drift to apart.

Only with your presence the wound I inflicted on us with heal

Listen to my restless heart and you will know how I feel…"

Jeff kneeled in front of JoAnna with his hand still hanging in the air, waiting for hers.

"The scar on my heart will remind me not to do it again

I need you by my side or my soul will scream in pain.

You are my only one and I fear my future without you

If you feel the same, please accept my apology…"

Jeff looked at JoAnna's face which was unreadable and then at his empty hand suspended in the air and his heart sunk. He does not know what else to do to break this ice between them.

His head hung low when he felt a warm palm in his.

"Thank you, Jeff. This is lovely.", JoAnna said after a few endless seconds.

She remembered Sarah's words on how she should not expect Jeff to be the only one to compromise. 

She gestured to him to sit on the sofa next to her, and he obeyed without letting go of her hand.

JoAnna knew that this was his way of telling her how he feels, and that now it's her turn.

"Jeff, I would like to tell you that I have a solution or that I thought a lot about our current situation, but that would be a lie. Sarah said that the two of us are very different, but I disagree. I think that both of us are avoiding thinking about our relationship; you usually focus on the work and I make light of the situation. Today I spent my time with the girls and anything else in order to distract myself from thinking about this weight between us. But we can't do that anymore. Going forward, I promise not to avoid it and to tell you when something bothers me."

Jeff smiled. "And I promise to listen."

"Now what?", JoAnna asked.

Jeff reached in his pocket and offered JoAnna her wristwatch.

JoAnna understood that this is the step toward them being back as a couple, and she extended her arm.

Jeff put the wristwatch on her hand and caressed it with his thumb while gazing into JoAnna's eyes. "On the day I gave you this, I promised that I will work hard to make you happy. Now, more than a year later, I know how that promise was lacking…"

Jeff lifted her hand and placed a kiss at the back of her palm. "I fell in love with a woman who is smart and silly and goofy and speaks her mind. Your bright personality lit up my life and I am sorry that since you became my wife, you had to control that in order to fit in a mold someone else created many generations ago. I have at my disposal power which I will use so that you can abandon that mold and be yourself. If anyone says anything against you, I will shut them up. And if someone rubs you the wrong way, I will make sure you never see them again."

JoAnna remembered that after they became Master and Madam of the White family, they had to maintain stern expressions in public, so that people don't see them as weak. It was hard for her to look at her husband without expressing how much she loves and admires him. This will be a welcome change. 

JoAnna smiled. "This sounds better than our wedding vows."

"I am glad that you approve. I will do my best to keep these promises, and if I ever slip, I will count on you to remind me."

JoAnna confirmed. "I will. There is one thing which is missing…"

"What?"

"My wedding ring."

Jeff was surprised to hear that JoAnna is mentioning the wedding ring. His plan was to start with the wristwatch, and after a few days of romancing her to offer the ring, but now that she asked for it, he will not complain. Jeff reached into his pocket and got it out. JoAnna extended her left hand, and he slipped it onto her ring finger.

Jeff let out a breath of relief. Somehow, it felt like things are falling into place, little by little.

Jeff silently confirmed that Aiden was right. Jeff did things he remembers make JoAnna happy: he made her favorite fried rice and the ice-cream cake, he sang to her, he promised to use his power so that she can act in any way she wants, and there is one more thing which always puts a smile on her face...

"Mrs. White, would you like to dance?"

"Madam White.", JoAnna corrected him while accepting his offer.

Jeff smiled at her correction. He took his phone and two seconds later, a slow tune sounded in the room.

Jeff and JoAnna moved at the beat of the music in silence.

When the song ended, JoAnna tasted the saffron fried rice and she said that it's good, but she liked the cake better.

She made Jeff eat also, because she knows that he skipped dinner.

"Are you looking forward to being a parent?", JoAnna asked Jeff.

Jeff paused. She is five months pregnant and this is the first time this topic was brought up. "Part of me fears that I will not be good at it. But I know that if you are not the mother of my children, I would not be willing to go through it."

"I feel the same.", JoAnna responded.

"Anna… are you…"

"Am I pregnant only because you were impatient?", JoAnna finished his question. She saw that Jeff nodded and she answered: "Honestly, if you were not so persistent, I would wait longer. I don't know how much longer, because before I met you I never thought of having kids at all. Actually, before I've met you I never thought of getting married either, and here we are."

"Do you regret it?"

"I would not label it as a 'regret'. Since you entered my life, everything feels like a roller-coaster and my life shifted several times in directions I could not imagine two years ago. In terms of our relationship, I wish that we dated longer before getting engaged, and I wish that we waited longer before getting married and… with kids as well. It does not mean that I would back out of any of it, but it would give me more confidence that I am doing the right thing."

Jeff closed his eyes and cursed himself internally.

He opened his eyes when he felt JoAnna's hand covering his.

"Jeff, you didn't force me into anything. Things happened quickly, but I am a willing participant."

Jeff doesn't know if JoAnna really means it, or if she said it only to make him feel better. But maybe it does not matter, because the fact is that they rushed with everything because of him. He made JoAnna rush into some of the most important decisions of her life because he was impatient, because he was selfish. As usually.

And the excruciating pain in his chest was back again.

He stood up stiffly. "I will take leftovers in the fridge. The cake is melting…"

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