208 Vampirism 101 III : Conquering Pain, Trus

The pain was unbearable from the first hour, it was like a cold, only the opposite. The feeling of fire burning my skin, and a million knives slicing into my flesh was prevalent for that whole hour, and then the next made me feel like someone had connected fish hooks into my intestines and I was being dragged by a thin thread connected to a monster truck. I've felt pain before, really terrible pain. Both mentally and physically, but never before have I experienced both at the same time.

The silver worked like a neurotoxin, spreading through my body and robbing me of my ability to move, I was stuck in that water, weak, and helpless. But it was not just the pain in my body, but also the doubt's in my mind. They gave the silver even more power to increase the intensity of the pain I was feeling to unprecedented levels. Fun fact about silver and vampires; the pain received differs according to the mental strength of the person being tortured. That's what she's aiming for, but she had already put my mind through a roller coaster ride of emotions that it's almost impossible to take back control, not with the pain I was feeling.

I don't understand why Asha couldn't have told me about who or what she was. Not that it would have made any difference, but she was my wife. A secret this big was something she could have at least trusted me with. Why was I finding out about it now. I knew many things about her past, I knew she was once a prodigy for the Ysmir family, and that she was loved, respected and cared for. Until she stepped on a few toes she was not supposed to step on. As punishment she was sent to the pit to be a warden.

Now I understood it was not a matter of stepping on toes, but a matter of who she was or could become. But if she was that much of a threat, why put her in a place where she could grow stronger. Yes it would have been torture for her to see the vampires, descendants of the man she loved and was imprisoned on the moon for suffering, but there was nothing she could have done, she was just human. But even then as a vampire Asha would have been helpless, she was an incarnation of a goddess, but she didn't have the so called goddess's memories or even her powers and abilities. But it seems they didn't care, she was sent away, and put in place that would be torture to her if she did have memories, and even worse she was expected to, and had to torture the vampires living here. Her family and the council of light were sadists of the highest order.

But the biggest thorn in my chest was that my wife, the soon to be mother of my children; had loved a man so much that she was trapped on a moon, and reborn too many times to count just so that she could be with him. That knowledge devastated me, it hurt even more than I would have cared to admit. I felt betrayed and angry, and frustrated beyond measure. And with my increased emotions my pain spiked, so much so that I felt like someone was stirring a spoon within my skull.

By this point I had totally lost track of time, lost and encumbered by a pain that was both physical, mental and emotional. After more than a year in the pit, this Dracula finally did what many have been trying to do since I came here...…..she broke me. Everything felt meaningless and grey, and in my grief and heartache I reached for the bond between me and Asha, wondering if that was also a lie. Even with my doubts, our bond was strong, and it seemed to only become stronger with her pregnancy that it only took a simple thought from her to know what was happening to me, and why.

[I'm sorry, I should have told right from the beginning.] She said to me through our bond.

[So it's true, you're not going to even try to deny it?] I asked her as I arched my back in pain.

The pain was still ongoing, but just this little exchange of words between me and her had made it a little bearable. Her voice took my mind off the pain, gave me an anchor to hold on to, and a focus to pay my attention to.

[There's nothing to deny husband. This is the truth of what I am.]

[Why didn't you tell me?]

[Because I was afraid.....I was afraid that just like my family and all of my friends, you see me differently. That just like them you would abandon me.]

[How could you think that! You're my wife, do you think that means nothing to me! I wouldn't have cared that you were a goddess or whatever the heck it is, they say you are. I wouldn't have loved you any less.]

[I know that now, and I'm sorry. But I was really afraid, the last time I trusted someone I love with that secret, he sold me into slavery. And that's where you found me, betrayed and thrown away because of this identity of mine.]

I understood where she was coming from, but I wasn't going to tell her anything. In fact I'm sure she could feel it from our bond, but that doesn't change the fact that she still lied. But the lie was not the only reason I was so pissed, who wouldn't be when you find out that the woman you love was born because she loved another man. So I had to ask.

[Do you still love him?]

[Love? Who're you talking about?]

[You know who I'm talking about!]

[Okay listen here my name is Asha Leona Cor! I'm not some goddess named Saleil, neither am in love with some very dead or God knows where he is vampire count. I love you! I married you! And my reasons for lying aside I am bonded to you. I can't love any other person, and I don't want to either. Whoever that Goddess is, she's not me, even if all that I am, is because of her or is a part of her. I'm sorry for lying, but that bitch of a Dracula is playing with your head! The only thing you can be sure of, regardless of what she says, is that I'm your wife, I love you and only you. Beat whatever test she gives you and come home, I'll prove it to you.So please, just believe in me.]

In any relationship, especially a marriage, a lot of effort has to be expended. The trust between a husband and a wife works both ways. In some aspects, a marriage, a true joining of a man and a woman was like religion. You just had to have faith and believe in the person you love. And every time that faith is tested, and you survive, that trust becomes stronger, it becomes unbreakable.

[I'm sorry Asha.]

[Is not your fault, I should have been more honest and truthful right from the beginning. No more secrets between us you hear me? Not one bit.]

[I agree. No more secrets]

After that she was silent, but I could feel her there, hovering right at the edge of my mind, keeping vigil with me. With her there I understood something about the pain I was feeling, it was all in my mind. Yes I could feel it, yes it was burning the fuck out of me, but I could choose to accept that pain as my reality, or have faith that I can beat it, that I can transcend the very limits pain. There is no pain, nor hurt that can break me, not as long as I have faith. Faith in not just myself, but the people I love, and the people who loved me. I took a deep breath and opened my eyes. Baeki was back with her legs still dipped in the water, to be honest I don't think she ever left. But with water boiling hot like lava, I felt nothing.

She dipped her hand into her basket filled with silver dust and sprinkled it all over me again. I released a slight hiss and the silver burned, just as dangerous and painful as the first time. I felt the pain, I felt all of it, but I was somewhat detached from it. I felt it, but I was not affected by it, just like being caressed by a smooth summer breeze.

"Is that the best you can do?" I asked her with challenge laced within my voice.

She knelt down beside me as I laid in the pool and said.

"Aniyo(no), I'm just getting started Kael Oppa. You cheated though, you went and got help from the Mrs. But it's not so bad, at least you learnt what I'm trying to teach you in a much shorter time than I expected. Good job."

"And what is it that you're trying to teach?" I asked again, as I got up from the pool.

"Pain is fleeting, and even if it's not, we can conquer it, and control it. In any fight, your greatest fear, is pain, be it emotional, mental or physical. A true vampire transcends the limit of his or her pain, becoming invulnerable to it, completely invisible."

She was right, but she was forgetting one very important thing.

"But in the end they become apathetic to everyone and everything that's around them. Emotionless."

"Indeed. But I'm sure you won't let that happen to you. After all, you're the Lion of Shearath."