Chapter 120

“I accept that pain as a part of me. Specifically…”

Lucio, who was worried for a moment, concluded with a bitter look.

“It is being consumed by that pain. Being eaten.”

“I do not think that is very good.”

“It is a much better choice than groaning in pain.”

Was it? Patrizia asked Lucio, thinking that she couldn’t understand up to that much.

“Are you alright?”

“Is the Empress alright?”

“I am not alright.”

Patrizia spoke frankly, and Lucio smiled.

“Yes. It is much better to be honest.”

“Maybe I will not be okay forever.”

“That is fine. Wounds and pains are normally like that. It is a memory that can never be forgotten or erased.”

“You are speaking like a person who has mastered all of that.”

“A kind of defense mechanism.”

“… ”

Patrizia changed the topic, thinking she didn’t want to develop on the deep topic further.

“Are you alright, Your Majesty?”

“I told you. I am used to it.”

“I do not like Your Majesty, but I am regretful for your personal misfortune.”

She wasn’t sure if this was a normal pain that could be expressed with regret. Lucio spoke.

“Yes. I am grateful to the Empress for that.”

“… Yes?”

When Patrizia asked with an expression showing she didn’t understand at all, Lucio replied with a smile.

“Usually, when you hear this, Empress. It is hard to treat that person the same as before. They will try to draw a line. Try not to touch that person’s wounds as much as possible. Of course, that is from their goodwill, but sometimes it hurts that person even more.”

“…”

“Thank you for continuing to hate me indifferently.”

“…”

Why was he smiling like that? Patrizia bit her lips without her knowledge. Whether he had not seen that or was pretending to not have seen? He asked without pointing out her action.

“So are you alright now?”

“It would seem so.”

After Patrizia replied without much sincerity, she stared at the man in front of her.

All of the pain she was experiencing now had come from this man. It was this man who sent Nilla to the guillotine, and this man who had destroyed her family. However, this was strictly before she returned to this new life, and as of now, this man had no responsibility for it. Anyways, in this present state, the man would not order for the destruction of her family or send Nilla to the guillotine.

But even so, it was this man in front of her that had hurt her. Falling into the trap of inconsistent contradictions, Patrizia looked confused. If so, was she now trying to heal her pain with a man who was the source of her pain? There could be no ironic situation such as this.

“You seem to like this garden. You always seem to be coming here.”

“… Ah.”

Only then, Patrizia stopped thinking and replied.

“It is a special place, somewhat.”

“It is also a special place for me, this place. How fascinating.”

“…”

“After being beaten by my mother, I always came here and cried. That day, when the incident happened, I self-injured myself here.”

The content was cruel, but the voice containing it was devoid of anything. How on earth could this man say anything like this? Patrizia felt bad for him and became sad. Probably the flowers of this garden grew up, each drinking at least a drop of his tears.

“I just told you a story that was not so fun. I had better go back. The night is deep.”

“… Yes.”

Patrizia said this, and then gave him a proper farewell, and left the garden. However, she heard the sound of someone following her from behind. Looking back, it was Lucio. Patrizia asked, “Why are you following me?”

“I think it would be better to escort you back to the Empress Palace.”

“I can go alone.”

“It is dangerous. Why did you come out alone without bringing a guard?”

“I wanted to be alone.”

Patrizia politely declined.

“So I will walk alone. Return to the Central Palace please.”

“…”

With that said, Patrizia walked a little faster than before. When she walked about ten steps, Patrizia had noticed that Lucio nevertheless was following her carefully, but she decided to leave it as it was, instead of saying more about that. Eventually, Lucio watched Patrizia arrive at the Empress Palace and listen to Rafaella’s worried nagging, then returned to the Central Palace.

Rosemond arrived at the Imperial Palace earlier than expected. It was because the carriage’s speed was maximized at her prompting. Rosemond, who gave him a much higher bonus than originally promised, entered the Imperial Palace with a level of confidence that was unparalleled in that of the Darrow household. She went to her Vain Palace first. A few maids welcomed her.

“Lady Rosemond, you have arrived.”

“Yea, nothing much happened, right?”

Of course, I thought she would hear the answer, “nothing much happened,” but the reaction that came back was unexpected. When Rosemond hesitated with the expressions that the maids showed, not knowing what to do, she intuitively noticed that something had gone wrong. She interrogated them with a grim look.

“What is it? What is going on?”

“That… That is…”

“Hurry up and say it.”

At last, Rosemond’s incessant questioning made the maids spill the truth. Rosemond’s anger soared to the top of her head, because of the fact that the budget for the Vain Palace had been cut in half, and that luxury items were being restricted from being bought at all.

She was in a very bad low mood due to the fatigue of her long-distance travel, and the stress she had received from the Baron and Baroness. Eventually, Rosemond moved her footsteps to the Empress Palace where Patrizia was, without even thinking about changing her dress.

“Your Majesty, Lady Rosemond is here.”

Due to Mirya’s blunt voice, Patrizia intuitively knew the reason why she had come.