Chapter 108 - Ashamed

I woke up from the vigorous sensation of wetness on my face. I giggled at the little furball who was licking my skin, drowning me with his saliva. I pulled him in a hug while he wiggled and licked his way out of my embrace and jumped off the bed.

I sat, stretched, and yawned myself awake. I glanced at the clock.

[4:07 AM]

I looked at the still sleeping man beside me and gently pecked his lips. I was about to get out of bed when his arms circled my waist and pulled me on top of him.

"Cain, I think little Pluffy wants to poop," I said against the warmth of his chest.

Cain groaned as he let me go, and we got out of bed. We put on our coats, and he grabbed a leash and tied it on little Pluffy's collar while the small ball of fur wagged its tail, guiding us out of the unit in hurried trots.

----

It was cold outside with only the street lamps lighted our path into the nearby park.

Cain took my hand in his while his other hand held Little Pluffy's leash as we roam around the park.

"Cain . . ."

"Mmm . . . ?"

"What happened last night? I remembered that I'd put your––"

I paused, and the cold lost against the heating of my body. I cleared my throat and pretended I wasn't affected. But my stammering gave away my cover. "I remember I've put your . . . err . . . 'thing' inside my mouth, but it was all a blur after that."

Cain choked. He cleared his throat before answering, avoiding my gaze, "You passed out."

I frowned but didn't refute.

Maybe I did pass out, considering the amount of stimulation last night.

Determined not to let last night passed, I gathered my courage and said with a trembling tone, "L-let's continue later when we return home . . ."

Cain stared at me with a face so serious I shrank.

. . .

. . .

"Leanna . . . we need to talk," he said, voice solemn while his face was unreadable.

The air turned stiff all of a sudden.

"A-alright."

I knew something was wrong, but I didn't ask.

After we cleaned little Pluffy's mess, we sat on the open field and removed his leash. The little piglet ran all over the field, but still maintaining a close distance from us.

The silence that soon followed was brutal that it was hard to ignore. I was fidgeting as I took a peek at the man beside me, waiting for him to speak.

"Leanna . . ." Cain faced me. The more I look over at his face, the more serious it became.

I stiffened and held my breath.

"Y-yes?"

----

After they cleaned little Pluffy's mess, they sat on the wide-open field and let the little furball ran wild.

Cain was racking his brain's to find ways on how to stop Leanna from seducing him, and after a long, thorough thought, he deduced that the only way was to talk to her about it.

"Leanna . . . ," he started, "I'm pleased that you wanted me the same way I wanted you."

Her body tensed, and all he wanted was to kiss away the worry in her eyes. He controlled himself. His resolve must not waver now.

"But, I can't make love to you. Not yet. Not until we're married." He took a deep breath and continued, "It's my fault for leading you on, but after what happened last night . . . I can't take risk anymore. "

He looked her in the eyes. "So please . . . stop seducing me or do things that would make me lose control."

He spoke it gently with so much softness in his voice, afraid to hurt her feelings more than he already did.

His heart shook when her eyes blurred with tears of rejection. She lowered her head and avoided his gaze. He knew she was too embarrassed and ashamed to meet his eyes.

He embraced her and carried her to his lap. She didn't struggle. He like the feeling of her small body all cooped in his embrace.

His finger caught tiny droplet of her tears, and he wanted to take back all the things he said. He would be happy and more than willing to make love to her right now and here as long as she wouldn't show these kinds of expressions, full of guilt and shame that she even cried out in the open.

"I-I'm sorry . . . ," she said, breaking his heart. He didn't want to hear her say sorry. Not to him.

"I was only thinking about myself . . ." She sniffled. "I-I never think about your situation. I-I'm sorry . . . P-please, d-don't hate me."

She forced the words out with her tiny quivering voice, and he felt like his heart was being peeled piece by piece as millions of needles pricked his bones.

He kissed the tears in her eyes. "I could never hate you." Was all he could say against the heaviness of his feelings.

He ran his fingers through her hair, letting her feel he loves her more than anything in the world. That whatever she does or did, there was absolutely no way he would hate her.

Leaves rustled in a serenade and the cold blue hues of sunrise colored the field in soft light. Along with it, Leanna's emotions settled down. She raised her head and looked over at Cain.

He smiled at her, eyes melting as her fingers softly caressed his face. He kissed her fingers so tender it put a smile on her lips.

They didn't know how long they stared at each other, contented on the silence, their eyes whispering unspoken words of affection.

Arf!

Little Pluffy's bark jolted them back to reality. The little fat of fur watched them as it flapped its tail. Its head tilted to the side like it was curious at what they were doing.

They laughed and stood to their feet, ready to return home.