511 Hiding his feelings

YuYan was dumbfounded to hear her brother's answer. She still doesn't understand why Xiao YuRin would speak to her this way after admitting that what she have done in the past gave him a chance to live.

She wanted to ask further, but feeling hesitant due to Xiao YuRin's sarcastic voice. YuYan contemplated that her brother might be thankful, but there's a feeling of blame on his voice.

Therefore, YuYan didn't say a word, instead, she leans her back on the side of the bed, pulling her legs towards her chest and followed the direction where Xiao YuRin was looking.

Although she stayed quiet, there was a part of YuYan's heart that she understands her brother's feeling. She wanted to say that never had any regrets about what she did. That she didn't even mind the suffering and pain she have been through since it was worth it.

Seeing her brother alive was enough for her to be happy, no matter how he would treat her, YuYan wouldn't mind at all, as long as he is alive.

A bitter smile suddenly appeared on YuYan's lips, she can feel that Xiao YuRin seemed not willing to talk about it. The silence between them is deafening.

Therefore, YuYan took a deep breath. There's a bit of sadness in her voice when she asked. "RinRin, why don't you call me baby bunny anymore?…"

A small chuckle promptly came from Xiao YuRin. He glances at YuYan before he said. "You're not a baby anymore. You need to grow up.." Then he suddenly sighed.

"But… You said how can you hate me after what I did, but you sounded like…" YuYan did not continue her words, the bitter smile on her lips disappeared while tears began forming in her eyes.

YuYan lowered her head while trying to suppress her tears. She took another deep breath before she finally continued. "You… You sounded like you hate me… But why?"

"Did you hate me because of what I did? Or there is something else for you to hate me?…" YuYan courageously asked, but her voice sounded muffled.

Her words made Xiao YuRin's body stiffened. Sadness appeared on his handsome face and sighed before saying. "Bunny, I don't hate you… It's just that.. You're so stupid to do that for me…"

Xiao YuRin pulled his legs and hugged it with both of his arms while he leaned down his head and he continued. "Stupid baby bunny… You could have died…"

Xiao YuRin's voice started to sound anguished. His shoulders began shaking while he started sobbing. "You stupid cute baby bunny.. Who told you to sneak out at night to feed me your blood?"

"Why did you keep on climbing the tree? What if you suddenly slipped? I won't be there to catch you whenever you fall…" Xiao YuRin added with blame, scolding his baby sister's silly actions.

Xiao YuRin continued without giving a chance for YuYan to speak. He continued sobbing as he speaks. "You stupid little bunny… I almost lost you…"

His heart felt being squeezed while a thousand of needles keep on piercing his heart while he remember what he was told about how his baby sister suffered in the past.

"It was... Everything started because of me… Why?.. You should have let me die…" Xiao YuRin claimed with conviction.

He has been hiding his feelings about what happen for so many years. Every day, he was blaming himself about what happen to YuYan and keeps on saying that if his baby sister didn't feed him her blood, she won't end up suffering due to the Soul Ice that almost killed her.

It was the biggest reason why Xiao YuRin doesn't know how to face YuYan when she returned to Black garden after she woke up from a coma. However, due to her lost memories, Xiao YuRin felt more blameworthy of what happened to his baby sister.

Aside from the guilt that covers his mind and heart, Xiao YuRin has no idea how to treat his baby sister. He thinks that without her memories, he would never know whether YuYan would blame him about her sufferings.

Therefore, Xiao YuRin tried hard to avoid his baby sister. Even though he seemed mean and distant, deep in his heart, he has been trying hard to suppress his longing to pull YuYan in his arms and give her a warm embrace.

He wanted to scold her for what she has done, but he can't do so without her memories. Xiao YuRin can only wait for her to regain her memory and prepare himself for the possibility that his sister would take his life after all the suffering she has been through.

On the other hand, Xiao YuRin wanted to thank his baby sister for giving him a second chance to live.