Chapter 177 - Truth, Finally

ETAN

Etan tried to take a deep breath, but the pressure on his neck barely let him suck enough air to keep himself conscious.

"Are you certain?" Falek muttered. "Sometimes the kindest thing to do to a dog is put it down."

Etan bared his teeth, but knew he couldn't start fighting with the man when he was so close to being released. So he just glared, and waited. 

Ayleth waited a couple more breaths, but then she nodded. "Yes, I'm certain. Leave us. Both of you. Leave us to speak in private."

"No." Borsche said quickly.

"Absolutely not." Falek snarled.

Etan wasn't surprised, but he was frustrated, the back of his mind trilling with fear that Ayleth could die at any moment if her mother chose to take the action she'd threatened. 

He vowed to himself that he would avenge her if the Queen did take her. But that would be no comfort, he knew. He couldn't let either of them be taken from this life while she still believed he'd turned his eyes from her. 

The tension on his neck eased and he sucked in a desperate breath, slumping to the dirt when Falek twisted and let him go, raising to his feet and returning to defensive stance in case Etan tried to attack. But Etan just lay on the ground, hands in his hair, breathing.

Ayleth was here. Ayleth was here!

Holy shit, Ayleth was here and could die at any moment.

He rolled to his hands and knees, still sucking at the air and blinking to clear his vision. 

"Let her go, Borsche," he growled, when he realized Ayleth was still standing there, arms pinned at her back by Borsche's grip. "She's right. This is between us and the Father of Lights. Let her go."

Falek's eyes followed Borsche as the man reluctantly released her.

Ayleth shook out her arms and hands, trying not to wince as the blood flowed back into them. But her eyes never left Etan's. And he drank her in, thanking the Father that, so far at least, she was alive and unhurt. 

Though she stared at him like a cat who'd just seen a mouse in the barn. 

He didn't drop her gaze, but sat back on his heels first, breathing deeply until his head was no longer spinning, then finally pushing to his feet. 

Falek hovered close to him, and Borsche close to Ayleth. It was as if the four of them were strangers again—suspicion and defensiveness removing any sense of solidarity or… or love.

"Ayleth," he said quietly, "My love for you is unchanged. Absolutely unchanged by these events. I do not lie to you. Your mother threatened your life—and placed the blame firmly in my hands if she were forced to take it. I did not leave you to run from you. I left to find the answer so I could return to bring you home. But she required assurance that I would not take you, or attempt to manipulate the Kingdoms. My parents would not have been allowed to sign the Accord unless I declared for someone else. That was her requirement—I had to break all ties with you publicly, so there could be no argument or… or gossip. So that if your father heard that we had married, she could deny it."

Ayleth blinked, and her already pale skin went whiter. He worried she might begin to sway on her feet. But her eyes were clear, fierce, and alight with fury. 

"My mother would not kill me," she said through her teeth. "The question is whether she deceived you into believing that she would. Whether you were only, as you say, making cover for a return. Or whether… whether this was a betrayal."

"Ayleth," he pleaded. "You can't believe—" 

"Do not tell me what I can or cannot believe, Etan. These days since we returned from our wedding have been… incredibly confusing. I have been open and honest with you. I have laid my heart at your feet. I no longer trust that you have done the same."

He felt the words like a punch to his gut, actually sucked in to brace against it. But as quickly as he recoiled, wanted to defend himself, he forced himself to breathe. To think.

He had lied to her… sort of. He had certainly hidden truth from her. Could he blame her for being reluctant to trust again quickly?

"Let me show you. Let me answer every question. Let me… let me hold you, Ayleth. Please."

Her chin trembled, the slightest tremor, but hope sang in his heart and he took a step towards her.

Falek leaped forward the moment he moved, and Borsche flowed towards them when he did. But Etan just stopped. Didn't raise his hands, or even take his eyes off of Ayleth. 

"You do not approach, or touch her without her express permission," the Knight Defender growled. 

Etan nodded his agreement, still staring at Ayleth and seeing the fear and doubt cloud her eyes, right alongside her love and yearning to be close to him.

She'd wanted him closer. He could see it in the way she slumped when he stopped moving. 

"Ayleth?" he asked quietly. Her pretty brows pinched together over her nose. Etan didn't let up. "Please, Love, let me get close to you. Let me show you. I'll listen. I promise. And I'll explain. It is all true, Ayleth. You've held my heart as firmly as if it beat in your chest rather than mine. Let me show you!"

Her face crumpled and she dropped it into her hands. All three men watched her, holding their collective breaths as she fought to keep herself under control.

When she finally lifted her head, her cheeks were pink and her eyes shining with unshed tears, but she met his gaze evenly. "We need to talk," she whispered.

Etan's breath rushed out of him and he stepped forward again. Falek moved to stop him, but Ayleth put a hand up. "Leave him," she commanded the warrior. "He is still my husband. Leave him."

***** 

CAST YOUR VOTE!

I thought I would be able to offer more frequent content on this book this year, but since that is unlikely to happen in the first half of the year, let me know which of the following you would prefer:

1. Keep posting 2 chapters every Wednesday!

2. Start posting 1 chapter each on Monday and Thursday, so we get updates more often!

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