Chapter 178 - Solitude

AYLETH

Etan strode forward, eyes piercing and unwavering, fixed on her behind his hair that had been mussed in the wrestling with Falek. He looked gorgeous and beautiful, and everything she'd been yearning for since they'd left each other on their return to the castle. But for the first time since she'd met him and they'd realized their connection, she didn't trust him. Feared to believe her own hope. Was suspicious of her own love.

He was her husband. She knew that like she knew her own skin. But she feared.

She had never feared Etan before. Not once. 

He stalked forward slowly, confident, but watchful, until he finally stood directly in front of her and settled on his feet, still watching her face. Borsche had crept back to give them room. 

Etan's throat bobbed and Ayleth braced herself, her heart slamming against her ribs, dancing with joy that he was there and near and once again declared his unchanged love. And yet, at the same time, she found herself wary. Like the moment in training with Falek when they were about to spar—she knew a blow was coming and wondered if she would safely deflect it, or be left bruised and humiliated.

Then she felt it… that brush against her senses as he tried to reach for her through the bond. Her heart stopped, then spun away, pattering in double-time as she opened herself to find him there, that glowing, golden thread that connected them, pulsing with love and adoration.

"My heart is unchanged, Ayleth. I have not wavered from you."

She sucked in a breath, images of that clasp with Sarya, the way he'd ignored her back at the castle—turned from her in the crowd, smiled at Sarya and her parents.

Ayleth's stomach went cold, and the light in the bond dimmed. 

Etan frowned. "Don't pull away. Give me a chance."

Ayleth nodded. "A chance is not…. It is not simply returning to your arms, Etan. I have questions."

"Ask them. I will answer."

She looked over his shoulder at Falek, who stood with his sword back in his hand now, staring at Etan, his face hard granite. Then she glanced to the side at Borsche, who wasn't angry but watchful. 

"Leave us, both of you," she said clearly, her voice snapping in the cooling evening air. 

"I will not—"  Falek began, but Ayleth cut him off.

"You will. I am your Queen, and this is my husband. You will leave us as you would leave us in the safety of the castle."

"But we are not in the safety of the castle!"

"No! We are likely safer than if we were, and you know it!" Ayleth snapped back, her eyes flashing, she knew. It wasn't fair to vent her anger over this situation on Falek—when he'd discovered her trying to sneak out of the castle alone, he'd been so good about not forcing her to stay. But she also knew he had already struggled to give up his power in her life to Etan before. If she didn't draw a firm line and Etan proved true, there would continue to be conflicts between the two men. 

She was happy to let them work their own conflicts out alone. But she would require it of her man to give her the same respect.

"While I agree that we are likely safe here," Borsche interrupted carefully, "I agree with Falek that leaving the two of you completely alone is a risk that we shouldn't take. Etan's family don't know of you, Ayleth. If they were to discover you here… or Sarya, for that matter. We cannot risk breaking the Peace Accord, Ayleth."

"Then what do you advise?" she snapped again, hearing the sense, but wishing it weren't true. She needed time with Etan to examine him without being cautious of her words! She needed time to… to be close to him and see if he felt the same to her.

"Keep a patrol," Etan said quietly, his eyes still on Ayleth. "Both of you. Guard our backs. Watch our sides. Give us space to speak without you overhearing, but stay close enough to see and hold us safe. Please," he added.

There was a short discussion of the details, but the men found an agreement that Ayleth could live with and she decided it wasn't the time to educate them all on listening to her as the outranking noble, rather than her husband simply because had had hair on his cheeks. 

They would learn. If Ayleth had learned anything in the past few days it was both how necessary her Knight Defender and husband were—and how blind they could both be. 

If only everyone had spoken to her when this came to light, all this pain and uncertainty could have been avoided.

She shook her head and Etan looked a question at her, but she didn't speak as Borsche and Falek discussed their placements as sentries, and how they would patrol to keep eyes on their charges and each other.

Borsche was definitely more comfortable with this arrangement than Falek. But that was natural, she supposed, as they were in Borsche's camp. 

Ayleth sighed, but waited. What she needed was time with Etan. She could endure men clucking like mother hens for a few minutes if that was where it got her. But she was resolved to take a greater hand in her own future after this. 

Once she knew what future she was pursuing.

Even that thought made her feel as if the earth would crumble out from under her feet. Since the night she'd met Etan there had been no moment that she hadn't truly believed her future was entirely wrapped in him. 

He'd torn that from her in these past few days, with his lies and his… plans. 

Ayleth believed it was likely true that her mother had made those baseless threats—she was a ruthless adversary, and would do anything to win. The question was, how easily would Etan be swayed in future. Had she married a man who would simply make these decisions without consulting her? She hadn't thought so, and yet, here they were.

Or worse, was his heart fickle? Did fear drive him immediately to someone else? 

She was going to find out. And Etan wasn't going to lay a hand on her until she was utterly certain of him. 

No matter how long that took.