Chapter 36 - Should I Or Should I Not?

I woke up the next morning on the couch feeling extremely and rushed to the bathroom to throw up. 

My toes curled and eyes rolled back as I let out everything inside me which was not a lot.

My head pounded and heart rate quickened as I sat there on the floor by myself. 

My first thought was to call for Harin but then I remembered that she wasn't here.

I sighed as I held onto the shower curtain seeking assistance to help me to my feet but only to my horror heard the the curtain pins snapped and I fell hitting my back hard as I came in contact with the floor.

"Oww!-Shit!" I groaned as I laid there on the floor head and back aching. 

I stayed there laying on the cold floor rethinking my life decisions and if I should get up or just die here.

Dying sounds quite tempting.

About ten seconds had passed and I was still on the floor planning my funeral when my tummy grumbled. 

I was hungry.

The stomach has spoken and there was no way that I wouldn't listen. 

I helped myself off the floor like the independent woman I was groaning and moaning in pain side eyeing the shower curtain when I finally made it to my feet.

I washed my face and brushed my teeth before exiting the bathroom to kitchen my steps slow and wobbly from still being in pain.

I opened the fridge and got to making myself some cereal and surprisingly enough it didn't make me gag.

I wobbled my way over the couch a bowl of cereal in one hand and bag of chips in the other.

I don't usually eat like this or this much but I am depressed. Leave me alone.

I checked the time on my phone and it read 10:00 am on a Saturday. 

I had missed classes yesterday due to umm personal reasons but it was okay. I will study tonight to make up for it.

"2 and half more months of school then freedom" I thought as my phone rang.

I checked the caller's ID and saw that it was my mom and a bright smile adorned my face, "hi mommy!"

"You throw me out for new? How long has it been since you called me huh child? You don't love me anymore? Should I identify as a mother of three?"

I chuckled at her silliness missing her pettiness, "no mommy I have been busy and didn't I call you the other day?"

She sucked her teeth no doubt rolling her eyes, "I called you you didn't call your poor old mother."

It was my turn to roll my eyes, she was so dramatic. 

"How have things been dear?" She asked switching to mother mood.

I sighed as I thought about how things been recently, 

"Well ma let's just say things have been crazy for the past couple of days. I am now lonely and friendless."

My eyes and throat stung as I said those words and my mother cooed me on the phone.

"Also," I added trying to stop the tears from bursting at the seams, "I fell this morning in the bathroom so now I think I will be walking like grandma. "

I chucked finding it funny and so did my mom until she processed what I had just said, " wait you fell? Where does it hurt? Do you need to see a doctor?"

She bombarded me with questions one after the other before I could speak, "mommy. One question at a time please."

"Okay sorry. I was just startled that's all" she replied sheepishly and I kind of started to feel bad.

"Oh no don't apologize and don't worry either. I'm fine really. Just a bit of pain I my back where I fell."

"I think you need to see a doctor. Don't they give you money for that?" She insisted going on serious mom mode.

I didn't feel like arguing with her and agreed to go making an appointment for the closest available date which was two weeks from now.

"Fine I did it. Happy now?" I sighed as I called her back after speaking to the front desk lady.

"Yes. When is your appointment?" 

"Two weeks from now," I said casually plopping a chip into my mouth.

"Two weeks!?" She yelled into my ear and I had to pull the phone away at how loud she was. I just know that she woke the whole community. 

"Yes mom two weeks. You were the one who said that I should so I did so what's the problem?"

"Well yes but I didn't expect for it to take so long" she defended more quietly. 

"Well what's done is done." 

I shrugged as I stuffed more chips into my mouth.

"You will be better by then but okay. Do what you must. Ill get going to bed right now okay? Mommy loves you."

"I love you too" I sighed as I started to feel sad.

She hung up after sending kisses my way which made me smile and cheer up a little.

With my mother gone from off the phone I was once again left lonely and alone with my thoughts so I decided to watch a movie.

I crunched on the chips to silence the voice of my thoughts as I watched the movie intently. 

Yes the crunching nose did distract me from the movie at some points during the movie but it was better than drowning in negative thoughts. 

I dipped my hand into the family sized chip bag and found that it was empty.

I sighed as I turned it up my head desperately trying to get the last bit of crumbs out when I said as they all fell on my face everywhere but my mouth.

I sat there on the couch devising a plan of how to get more snacks without leaving the couch before remembering that I was  lawyer and not an engineer. 

During one of my attempts I had caught a whiff of my armpit and decided that I needed a shower. 

I might be feeling depressed but that wasn't an excuse to smell homeless too.

With that in mind I wobbled my way as if I was a pregnant woman  to the bathroom and stripped naked glaring at the shower as I got in.

I was giving myself a nice warm being careful as to not further irritate my back when I heard the front the door opened and closed.

Harin.