Chapter 465 - Starved For Time

A perfect autumn's day breeze, a clear ocean of blue hanging from above, rarely could you find a more perfect day to laze beneath the cool shade of a tree. Everywhere I look, everywhere I'd listen, it was just peace and serenity all around. The birds in flight, the soft chimes of the wind rustling in the leaves… and Ash taking a nap on my lap. 

So yeah, in a way, Ash's wish for a relaxing respite sorta came true, after all… for her, anyway. 

As I continued my struggle against the barrier, in stark contrast, she was in total tranquility just inches right below me. I didn't even realize she was even there until I suddenly noticed it was getting easier to maintain my focus. Before that, we were just talking - it was just her, mostly, also just nonsensical murmurs, mostly - with me jutting in a word or two every once in a while, then eventually, those murmurs turned into soft snores, and now here we were. 

My legs were getting a little numb, that, and my knees were also starting to feel sore from being pressed against the dirt for so long, but I think I'd rather amputate, than attempt to rouse her awake. True love is never painless, after all. 

Maybe it was just a placebo, but feeling her warmth, just knowing that she was so close to me, I could feel my fingers push deeper into the invisible, but in turn, it also pushed back - hard. Like pricks, like a million tiny little needles stabbing every inch of my palms over and over, burrowing deeper and deeper into skin, tearing flesh, hitting bone. That's what it felt like going deeper. 

The moment I felt the sensation, it completely overwhelmed me. I heard myself hiss, felt my arms instantly jolt backward, and in an instant the pain was gone, but even then, my hands were still trembling.

Ash rolled over in her sleep, her pointed ears twitching once, and relaxed again, her slumbering bliss undisturbed. Meanwhile, again, in contrast, I was struggling to hold myself back from sounding like a dying whale, probably broke a few teeth too, keeping it clenched so hard.

"You are… too fast…." There was a sharp gust in the breeze, a howling in the wind that didn't belong. "You hurt… yourself… you need… to be… slower…" 

Adalia emerged from somewhere out of my peripheral eye, slowly shambling her way towards me as if she's always been there all along and I just never noticed it… for all I know, maybe I really didn't.

"Slow," I repeated, clenching and unclenching my fist until the sensation faded away. "I was being slow." 

"No… you are fast… too fast…" I heard her speak again. "Be slow… barriers hurt… a few days… a few weeks… a few months… a few years… it is… normal…" 

Barriers hurt, I heard this before. Mom forced her way to Astra's, what did she say - it was the closest she felt to dying? If that's the agony I'm up against, if that's really what it's going to take to get through this, then…

"I don't even have days," I said, stretching my arms forward once more. "Fortunately enough, nothing I've done so far hasn't exactly been normal either."

"It will… hurt…"

I just sighed at that. "What hasn't?"

She stopped walking, the hems of her dress skirting inches away from my eyes. Her misty eyes looming above, I saw them shift… first onto me, then slowly to the Elf sleeping serenely right below. 

"So," I said, interrupting her unblinking stare. "What brings you here? Shouldn't you be asleep?"

"I slept…" came her soft excuse. "Not sleepy…"

"Not busy either, apparently," I remarked. "You had a good talk with my mother?"

"Yes."

"So what did you guys talk about while you were gone?"

"Stuff."

"I see," I blinked. "Anything else?"

She blinked back. "Other… stuff…"

"Private stuff too, it seems," I said, quickly getting the hint. "Fine, fine, won't pry."

There was that sensation again, the tips of my fingers buzzing. I went silent, concentrated - focus. I pushed in, slowly, gradually, the buzz getting stronger. 

And then that jolt again, that prick, a million's agony in less than a second. 

I didn't manage to suppress my voice as well this time. It was a painful grunt, I sounded like a tea kettle verging on boiling point. 

Ash was stirring again, her sleeping face tightening, almost as if feeling my pain as her own. She rolled once, then stopped… her closed eyelids, her slightly parted lips now directly staring at me.

Then, to my side, I noticed someone else was staring too… quite closely, in fact. But the moment I lifted my head up again, all that was present, was just Adalia's emotionless expression.

"There was… one thing… I did ask... her…" She muttered out of the blue.

"Yeah?" I breathed out, wincing. "Which is?"

"To… help you…" Adalia replied. "I wanted her… to help you… I tried… telling her because... I didn't agree… with her… and... I tried… for a long time… but..."

She trailed off…  she didn't have to say. I already know. The fact that I'm still on my knees here, that my arms were still jolting here. It's okay, it's fine, I wanted to let her know.

"No worries," I flashed her a smile, lifting my numbing arms once more. "Thanks for trying."

Perhaps we were being a bit too loud. Ash was a real light sleeper, tossing, turning, then drowsily muttering in her sleep, "I'm… here… love… you…" then with a peaceful smile, settled back down deep into her slumber.

And there it was, that stare once again, and this time, it didn't move. Adalia blinked, and for once, her gaze didn't seem so far away.

"Ash is… happy with you…" She muttered, her stare lingered onto her for a while longer. "And you are happy… being with her..."

Not exactly sure what stating the obvious has anything to do with anything, but okay.

"Just noticed that, did you?" I snarked, turning my gaze away to the task at hand. "Just don't try to ask me to measure anything, I ain't making that mistake twice."

She ignored that and continued on with her train of thought aloud, "Amanda too… Irene too…"

Okay, I think I know where this train was going…

"Mmm, I think someone's jealous."

"Jea… lous…" She cocked her head. "I don't know… what that feels like…"

"No, I think we've already been through this routine before," I said, flashing her a look. "And yes, you do."

No response, nothing to say to that apparently. So instead I spoke some more.

"I am happy spending time with you too, Adalia," I assured with a half-smile. "Anytime you aren't asleep, or faraway elsewhere, that is, I always have fun spending time with you."

Her expression was mute, as was the look in her eyes. 

"Are you… telling the truth...?"

I almost laughed at that - definitely would have woken up Ash if I did. 

"Well," I said, settling with a quiet chuckle. "Does it look like I'm lying to you?"

She eyed me for a while, silently, intensely, before finally coming to a conclusion.

"You've never lied… to me… before…" She lowered her gaze. "So I… don't know…"

"And that's all that needs to be said about it," I simply replied.

For a long moment, there was just silence. I took that chance to concentrate, focus, drowning out any and all distractions. It was just about there, that sensation again, in my fingers, to my palms, and then...

"Can you… prove it…?" 

Gone. By her voice, by her question. A question I didn't think I heard right.

"What?"

I looked back her way again, but instead of seeing her dress in the grass - her clouded eyes were suddenly leveled with mine.

In the silence she moved, she bunkered down, got closer, way closer, her pointed fangs slightly visible, as she spoke again, "Can you… prove it…" and added more. "To… me…?

If I never lie, then she never jokes, which made her sudden request a whole more bizarre.

"Prove it?" I furrowed my brows. "Seriously?"

"I want to… know…. that you're not lying… to me…" was her brief offer of an explanation. 

"Can't just simply take my word for it?" I said, my bemusement widening my smile more and more. "Don't you trust me?"

"Actions… speak louder… than words…" She responded, tilling her head askew again. "That's what… Terestra said to me… when I asked her… to help you…"

I let out a sigh. "Yep, she's a wise woman, alright."

"Yes… she is..." Adalia nodded. "So… will you…?"

Will I? All those times I tell her something, and she'd believe me without question, now all of a sudden she needs proof first? Yeah, not buying it. 

"So if I do it, then you'll believe I ain't lying?" I asked.

"Yes…"

I smiled. "And this isn't just some elaborate scheme to try and get me to spend some time with you?"

A pause.

"No…"

Okay.

"Right then," I said, letting my arms fall limp to my side. "Welp, care to go for a swim?"