Chapter 181 - Kiss And Tell

"Oh, Diana, please, don't cry. There's no place for tears on a face of a beautiful, strong-willed woman like you."

I took a deep breath and tried to hold myself together. But I was just so relieved, so overwhelmed with emotion, that it couldn't all fit in my head and the excess had to go out in form of tears. I put my hands on top of his, where they cupped my cheeks. "I'm fine, I'm fine. As long as you trust me to… to talk to me."

JJ exhaled. He still looked hesitating, but the wall between us broke like it wasn't ever there.

I smiled at him with as much encouragement as I could convey with my face and my eyes, and added, "You don't need to talk if that's uncomfortable for you. Just… well…" I stumbled, unable to find words that would fit, but wouldn't be too insistent. I wanted him to share more with me, more of himself, but was afraid to push more than I already did, and my ability to form a coherent sentence failed me in expressing this.

"I understand," JJ interrupted me, and looking into his eyes, I believed he did. Then he chuckled. "You do like to listen to the sound of my voice, don't you?"

I grinned back, feeling like I was a balloon someone was filling with helium. "I think you can hypnotise with it even with no vampire powers involved."

He dropped his hands from me as a bout of surprised laughter fell from his lips. In this moment, I was caught again by how handsome he was. That luxurious strawberry-blond or golden, depended on the light, hair; these chiselled, noble features; the relaxed, self-assured way he held himself. With all JJ's inhuman features, all his wicked charm, he held himself not as a predator he was by nature, but as someone one could just trust as a friend.

There was power under that, too, but it wasn't the main lure, like it was in many other people considered to be top bachelors. JJ hid it, which was a way to hold power for him, yes—the power of surprise—but I thought that the main reason for it, after all, was just a desire to not be known as only a sum of his abilities.

So, I won't give him any more grief about hiding any of these. Instead, as the wave of love that flew through me in this brief moment, an entirely different impulse got into my head and took control.

Swept by it, I rose on tiptoes, put my hands into his silky hair, and used it as a leverage to bring our lips together and swallow his laughter with a hard, ardent kiss.

It was like madness descended on me, like a curse from jealous Greek gods. At first, I think I simply wanted to prove to myself that JJ was still there and still close enough to kiss me in return. When his hands rose to my shoulders, that realisation settled in my gut solidly enough that the emotions that just now tore through me like a tornado finally abated, and so did my fervour.

Instead, gentleness came. I soothed with my tongue the places that I nipped with my teeth earlier, even knowing that JJ's mouth would never be sore from something like this. The hands that tugged into his hair combed through it instead. I smiled into his lips and caught his smile in return. He might've not loved me in the same way, but in some way, he cared about me, and cared a lot, and for now I could kick the greedy part of myself into the dumpster parts of my soul and say that this was enough.

Despite that gentleness, I still was breathing heavily when we finally separated. Then I looked into JJ's eyes to see them half-red and felt strangely proud of myself. I wasn't the only one affected!

JJ raised his hand to fix his mussed hair in a habitual gesture. "I will take it as you have forgiven me for not telling you about the extent of my hypnosis ability earlier, ma chèrie."

"Yes, you can take it this way, but," I looked at him through my eyelashes, "you should think hard if you don't have anything else important to admit. Just in case. Any other old enemies?"

JJ clicked his tongue. "Well, most of the people I knew over the course of my life either long gone or weren't more than passing acquaintances. I can't really imagine- though, of course, there's still my sire…" He trailed off. A shadow of something old and unhappy covered his eyes.

As much as I wanted to listen to this story, it was impossible to miss the fact that it wasn't the one JJ wanted to tell. I patted him on his arm. "Just tell me, what are chances of her coming around and giving us trouble?"

"Minuscule, I'd say, taking into consideration that the last time I've seen her was at the Circle gathered to deal with Dragon. She never expressed any desire to seek me out after I left her territory as a vampire of my own right."

"That's cool. One less thing to worry about."

"Yes. But that returns me to the matter of hypnosis. Ma chèrie, if it can really work on witches, in the current situation in the world… It can be a powerful tool. But at the same time, if the witches as a community have even a suspicion that I can use it against them… I will become a target."

I understood that now. And I understood it would be hard to hide from witches, even for someone like JJ. They'd see through all his tricks… "I will be silent as a grave." I mimed zipping my mouth shut. "And with that in mind, why do you risk so much telling me in the first place?"

"Because, ma chèrie… I have to test it somehow."