Chapter 874

Then Qiutong left.

Back in the dormitory at night, I stayed up all night, smoking in the living room all night, pondering over what Qiutong said, thinking about the past and present with Qiutong, and constantly thinking about the scenes with Haizhu in the past

My heart sometimes pity, sometimes worry, sometimes sad, sometimes helpless, sometimes sorry, sometimes lost, sometimes confused, sometimes sigh

I can imagine how much pain Haizhu suffered during this period of time. She had to face not only her own physiological bad news, but also her huge emotional trauma. And all this, she can't talk to anyone, even Haifeng, even her own parents, she can only bear it alone and silently.

I can feel how helpless and painful Qiutong was when he said that to me today, but with persistent stubbornness, hope and blessing. And all this, she can only bear, can't let anyone know.

In the conflict and tangle, as well as the ideal and the reality of the struggle for a night, finally, Qiu Tong's words dominated my heart, responsibility and conscience occupied my brain, yes, at this time, Haizhu is most in need of their dearest comfort, this person, is me! Yes, love is selfish, but the conscience of life can not be selfish!

Haizhu is very affectionate and righteous to me. She came to me when I was at the bottom of my life and never gave up on me. Now that she is like this, I can't bear her or be sorry for her. At the thought of this, my heart is very painful, and my guilt and remorse become more and more intense.

At this time, I did not want to think about my feelings for Haizhu is more love or family, I only know that she is sincere love me, in her case of such misfortune, I can not leave Haizhu, I must return to her side, I must give her happiness, I can not be sorry for their conscience, I must be a responsible person. She left me because she didn't want to hurt me. I want to come back to her in order not to let her be hurt.

After daybreak, I washed my face with cold water and drove directly to Haizhu company.

Just went to work, not many guests. All the salesmen went out. The company was quiet.

Haizhu is not here, xiaoqinru is on duty.

Xiaoqinru is very happy to see me.

"Brother Yi, sister Haizhu just went out with the director of planning and dispatching department to talk about a business." Xiaoqinru let me to Haizhu's office, poured a glass of water for me, and looked at me with a smile: "ah - I miss you so much because I haven't seen you these days. Of course, the one who miss you most is Haizhu. When she's free, she often sits in the Office in a daze, and there's a picture of you hidden in the drawer. When she's free, she just takes it out and looks at it by herself and tears secretly."

Hearing this, my heart was a little sour, and I laughed at xiaoqinru: "you go out first, I'll sit down for a while, I'll wait for her to come back."

Xiaoqinru gently took the door out.

I sat down at Haizhu's desk and looked down to see that the key of the middle drawer was still in the keyhole. It seemed that Haizhu was in a hurry and didn't have time to lock it.

After a moment's hesitation, I opened the drawer.

First of all, I saw a picture frame lying in the drawer. Inside was my photo. It was a day in the golden autumn of this year. I took Haizhu to Bangchui Island Scenic spot. On the lawn in front of Bangchui Island Hotel, I jumped up to do flying kicking. Haizhu captured it for me. At that time, Haizhu took a lot of photos. Later, she chose the most satisfactory one to develop and put it in the photo frame on her desk

After watching silently for a while, I sighed, picked up the photo frame and looked at it for a long time. When I put it back, I saw a pink diary.

I gently picked up the diary, slowly stroked the cover, hesitated for a long time, I finally opened the diary

"Brother, this is a letter to you, but it will never be sent out! Brother, I left you. The moment I left you, I wanted to call you brother again, but I didn't call you out after all.

"I once said that I would hold you firmly and never let you go all my life, but now, I have taken the initiative to let you go. I leave you because I love you. Because I love you, I don't want to see you unhappy; because I love you, I don't want to see you struggling; because I love you, I don't want to see you hard; because I love you, I want to let you go.

"I used to think that you were the kite in my hand. As long as I hold the thread tightly in my hand, no matter where you fly, I will belong to you in the end. However, when I stepped out of the hospital and saw you, I knew immediately that I was going to lose you!

"When is the spring flower and autumn moon? How much do you know about the past? The past is like the wind, it's better to let it go with the wind, when everything is empty, only I don't want you to see my tears, because I know you will be distressed. Because I love you, I won't let you worry with tears.

"Although I long for eternity, if it's just a luxury, it's better to just have it. Once had your love, that's enough. Because there is a kind of love, called let go.

"As long as the misunderstanding between Xiayu and me goes on, maybe you and I can accept it as long as you and I begin to accept it. However, a diagnosis sheet has turned my long-term worries and speculations into reality and shattered all my dreams"Infertility means that there will be no children between you and me. It means that your family will be cut off from the incense and there will be no one to inherit. Maybe you don't value it, but I value it. I can ignore you, but I can't ignore your parents So, in reality, I have no choice but to let go and leave. "

Seeing this, my heart trembled violently.

Light a cigarette, calm your heart a little, and then continue to look down:

"letting go is not selfless dedication, leaving you, it is not only love for you, but also comfort for myself. Let go of you, I am very sad, very heartache, but I do not regret. Let you disappear from my life, because long pain is better than short pain. When I am old and dying, I will not regret it, because I love you.

"How long can you love someone? Forget a person, in the end to when? I have no way to prove, because I still love you, because love continues, because my heart is still in pain. Some things I like will not belong to me, some things I nostalgia is doomed to give up, I deeply know that there are many kinds of love in life, but can not let love become a kind of injury. I can't hurt you and your parents because of myself.

"Love can be an instant thing or a lifetime thing. Everyone can fall in love with different people at different times. It's not who can't live without, forgetting makes me strong. Having is not absolute happiness, love does not have to have, love a person, does not have to be together forever, since I have decided to give up, I will no longer entangle, of course, I have no qualification and capital to entangle

"How far is forever, even I am not sure! I can only comfort myself, there are many ways of love, not necessarily have is happiness. Because I still love you, so I don't want to say anything to you, don't do anything, seal up all the thoughts and concerns one by one, and collect all the pain and sadness.

"In this world, the everlasting love is very little. The marriage of helping each other and growing old together can be seen everywhere! Leave, is destined to miss this life! Belong to you, must still be waiting for you in some place!

"Learn to give up, life will be easier! Learn to give up, in tears before turning away, leaving a simple back! Learn to give up, will be buried in the bottom of my heart yesterday, leaving the best memories! Learn to give up, so that each other can have a more relaxed start, bruised love is not necessarily unforgettable. Once said love you, today, still love you. Just, love you, but can't be with you, I can only love you in another way

”I often look at your photos, look at you and think about our past Once we made a vow, but now we are strangers. Maybe everything is predestined. The moment I decided to give up you, I cried, I have been determined that I will not shed tears, but I still can't help it at this moment.

"If it's a sin to love someone, I think I'm guilty. If it's a dead end, I can't turn back. Why does God punish me like this? If I do something wrong, I am willing to pray God to forgive me, but suddenly found that there is no God!

"Tell yourself, I am so tired now. Is death really the only way to get rid of me? Now finally understand that I was so fragile, so sad, my heart tired, really tired

"I believe that we really loved each other, care about each other, miss each other, but love can not be separated from reality, can not escape the secular. When I saw the diagnosis sheet, the rest of my brain was just blank!

"If sincerity is a kind of injury, I choose lies! If a lie is a kind of injury, I choose silence! If silence is a kind of injury, I choose to leave... "

See here, I took a deep breath of smoke, smoke filled my eyes, my eyes a little astringent.

I rubbed my eyes and continued to look down.

"Looking at your photos, thinking of you, recalling the past, unconsciously, we have been together for such a long time, the original bit by bit, always hovering in my memory, the whole mind is recalling the bit by bit after knowing you, recalling the two people spent every minute together, suddenly there is a kind of unidentified joy in my heart.

"To say forget can only be a deception, a self consolation, and a desire to find a feeling from the loss. It's hard for me to forget you. I still miss you, I think of you so quietly, I like to think of you like this, like looking at your photos, think of you, let my heart have a soft pain and happy sweet. Many times, just thinking about a person quietly is actually a kind of happiness, a kind of happiness

"I can't marry you, I can't be a good wife and mother to you and your children, I can't be a perfect daughter-in-law to your parents. I know that as long as you want to, as long as you want to, someone will love you There are many women around you who like you. No matter who they are, I wish you happiness! You promise me that you will live a good life and find someone who loves you as much as she does. If you are happy, then everything is good. You should protect yourself and hope you get rid of the underworld as soon as possible. We are common people. We do good deeds and eat our conscience. We don't do anything harmful to nature and reason... "

Seeing this, my eyes are wet.