Chapter 12 - 12

"Why did you do that ?" I asked Reiner once the class was over, " Why did you throw me under the bus like that. You could have gotten me in trouble with the teacher."

"I am going to be late for class." he got up and walked away from me but I am not going to let him go today. He can't keep on doing this to me, one minute he is friendly and sweet and the next he acts indifferent to me. I am not some toy for him to play with when he is in the mood and then throw away when he is tired. I ran after him and push his back against the wall and hold him in place.

"I asked you a question. What were you trying to achieve by doing that."

"Let me go Brandon, you are hurting me."

"Not before you answer my question.. Tell me do you enjoy treating me like this."

"Like what exactly ? I don't understand what you are going on about right now. Will you just let me go or we both will get in trouble if we are late for class. It is the first day of school and it won't look good if we start being late so let me go." he said as he pushed me but I refuse to bulge today so I held my ground and didn't move.

"I will only let you go after you give me answers to my question."

"Then ask away quickly I don't like being late for class." he said right before we both heard the bell ring indicating the start of the second lesson. "Now look what you have done." he added looking pissed at me. I didn't mean to make us late or to hold him back but I need answers, I can't just go with the flow when I don't even know where the flow is leading me. I need to understand what is happened to me and that can only happen once he explains to me what it is that he has done to me. I am acting way out of my territory right now but what can I do when it is the only way for me to get the answers to all the things that are troubling me.

If I don't get the solution to my problem soon then the problem is going to get worse and then it will be too late. "So what did you want to ask me ?" I take his and pulled him to the back of the classroom and sat him down on the seat at the corner and sat down next to him. "You were not just planning for me to be late but also for me to miss the entire lesson."he asked and I sighed, it wasn't my plan to do any of this but I also won't get a chance like this again so I might as well just get it over with.

"I want to talk to you and I wasn't sure you would agree had I asked so I had to do this. It is the first day of school so they won't teach much people would just introduce themselves again like they did earlier. You won't miss much I promise but we need to talk."

"Well since the teacher won't allow me to enter the class this late I might as well listen to what you have to say but we can't talk here. The hall monitor does tours around the empty classrooms after every lesson to make sure that no student is flunking lessons. If we stay here we will get in trouble so follow me." he walked out of the classroom and out of the building while I silently followed behind him. He brought me to garden and went into the greenhouse.

"The gardener of the school doesn't arrive until tomorrow so it should be safe to talk in here." he said turning around to look at me and leaned his back on the wall. I walked to an old wooden chair by the window and sat down. I played with my fingers and looked at anything but him, I was so nervous right now and sweat trickled down my forehead. "Did you ask me here just to keep you company or did you have something to say to me." he asked making my insides turn.

I know what I want to say and the questions that I want to ask him but I can't get the words out of my throat. I can't bring myself to utter the words that I do much wanted to say to him no matter how hard I tried to. My palms were sweating and I was so afraid, afraid to say the things that were in my mind. It was just the first day of school and maybe all I need is some time and the problem might go away on its own and there will be no need to talk to him. I tried to talk to convince myself and talk myself out of having to speak to him. Maybe it was a bad idea for me to hold him back and insist on talking to him, it was nice to do that when I can't even utter the words that I wanted to say.

I have not just wasted my time but his too. It was very selfish of me to have done that to him and not say anything, now the impression that he has of me being a weird person will increase and he might never talk to me again after today. What am I going to do now and how do I begin to tell him everything. I am so nervous that I don't trust my mouth to say anything sensible. This has never happened to me before, I am a celebrity for crying out loud and I am used to performing in front of millions of people then how come I can't even speak to one boy. This is so not me at all, I always speak my mind when something is bothering me but today I am so anxious that I couldn't speak all because of Reiner Devon.

I don't understand what is so special about him that he provokes so many new emotions in me. Before I met him I didn't know what the word nervous meant but now I do and this just goes to show why we should talk. He is just a normal extraordinarily beautiful boy that I came across then why is he affecting me differently. It is irritating how before him I become so vulnerable and dependent on him and I just want for this to end. I want to be in control of my life and myself but that can only happen when he let's me go from whatever he is doing to me.

"I hate to interrupt your thoughts but can we rap this up and will you finally tell me what you wanted to say, you have kept me enough suspense already."he asked making me look at him and there he was writing in his book again. Seriously what does he write in that book that he won't even take a break from it.

"What do you keep writing on your book?" I unconsciously asked.

"Is that what you wanted to ask me ?" he asked me in surprise.

"No, I was just curious of what you keep writing in your book since this morning."

"Oh! Well I have been doing this week's English assignments."

"What! but we haven't been taught yet."

"I like to be ahead of the teacher and if you don't mind me asking, what exactly did you want to talk about."

"I wanted to talk about us, I mean you and me...not necessarily you and me in the sense of you and me but like you and I." I said and he burst out laughing and I looked down out of embarrassment.

"So what is it, do you want to talk about us or you and me or you and I." he asked in between his laughs and I glared at him which caused him to laugh some. 'Why does this always happen to me.' I thought to myself.