314 7.42 Whaaaaaatttttt....?!?

"I wonder if Granny is well and about. It had been a month since she last heard from me. What I do remember was she mentioned to that half dimwit to stay out for a few days and without any fires. Now, how am I going to get across to Granny's if I need to cross over the river myself?"

"I'm never going to get wet and definitely not without his Psy Gangnam Style whatever to make me feel better and dry my clothes instantly. Sigh...I'm too dependent on him, andI kind of miss him already. Stupid heart, stop fluttering, will you...?"

"It's not that I'm going to leave the band forever...as long as I'm still in the band with him, I could still send him some messages if he does check his interface once in a while. Hah...! Let him be lah... if he remembers me, he would have sent me a message first."

"Why should a water well look for a pail if the pail doesn't look for the water well first?"

....

I trudged on in anticipation of my Granny's homemade cooking no matter how simple or elaborate it is since I'm her only living granddaughter she had. Believe me, it's a gruelling 7 hours of walking with just my sword at my sides and fully covered with studded leather armour.

The sight of my Granny's house in the distance across made me trudge on faster as I saw smoke on the usual fireplace and a pot hanging on the tripod. I knew she would be alright since she had been like this for many years before I was born, living in total seclusion.

As I was looking for a way to cross the river, I noticed a silhouette standing near the riverbank and from the looks of it, that person had a tiny head and a rather brawny body. That, someone, was settling his arm on a tree trunk as if lingering for someone to arrive.

"Hello miss, a good evening to you. My name is Hachi and I am a Tanuki or a shapeshifter. I understand your dire needs to cross this river and the author of this book had sent for my services to render immediate assistance to you. Let me shapeshift here and transform myself into a boat to let you across."

I was surprised to know of such a person to exist and the author is kind enough to send whoever this guy is to help me across the river.

The person pulled his scrotum from under his pants and stretched it to become a yellow banana boat as it was attached to his rear end too. Nice...yellow is a bright friendly colour and it's hairless too. Hii...Hii...Hii...

"Hop on miss, I'd pull you from the front across this river..." the person said as I climbed the sides and kneeled down in the yellow banana boat as he walked in the waist-high deep water and pull me behind him.

"This is fun, why can't that half dimwit dum dum do this when crossing the river that time and prevent me from getting the hills that night."

"Here you go miss, safe and dry. Be seeing you in a week's time to ferry you across the river once more. I would be here the instance you need me. Thank you for travelling with Fasuto Japan Waterways."

The moment I alighted from the yellow banana boat, the person disintegrated and vanished into thin air.

"Granny... it is me...! I'm back...Are you in there...?"

It's just over 7 pm, as I glanced at my BabyG as I saw that the interior of the thatched but had the light on. The thatched hut may look like nothing and desolate from the outside. I thumped on the thatched door and let myself in.

"Granny...are you in here? It's me, Cutie Pie."

"Hey...my granddaughter, Cutie Pie is finally back...! Is that boy with you outside...? Hang on a minute, I just finished my bath in the jacuzzi..."

The moment I met myself in and called out for my Granny, the interior of a 2 storey mansion greeted me. It had high polish white marble flooring and a majestic staircase in front that leads to both the left and right side of the second floor.

There are two marble statue of an Eastern Dragon on the left side of the staircase and a pair of Eastern Tigers that looks to be about having a duel together. On the corner were a pulldown weighted grandfather clock and a highly polished red and black suit of full body armour.

There was a set of rosewood grand high back furniture, the seats were of cushy upholstery and the backs we're decorated with inlaid mother of pearl. A set of dining table for 10 people was on the other side of the house near to the serving kitchen where a maid dressed in a black and white uniform was standing by.

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Hanging chandeliers were set above the dining and seating area while the fireplace had been lighted as my it was designed right in the centre of the living room within a space built in the staircase.

Granny sauntered down from her bathroom in a flowing robe and glided down the stairs and held out her arms for me to fall into an embrace.

"Welcome back, my cutie pie. It's been so long since I've last met you after that wretched Sheriff of Nottingham gave me a nasty scare. How are you, my dearie? Wow...you looked magnificent in these new clothes and armour...By the way, is the boy outside now? You may say to him that I'm not feeling well and decided to take a rest. Actually, I hate to change back to my old clothes on the disguise."

"No, Granny...he's now in Brotherton with 1 adventurer and a boy that he had bought off a slave trader and bought his freedom, yes...that's what he said to the boy."

"Oh...you've got a new adventurer? He bought a slave and he gave his freedom? That's very 'Abraham Lincoln' of him. So he's out in Brotherton and he didn't send you over till the front door and left you to travel here all alone...? That's so 'Townsend Harris' of him."

"So, have you eaten yet? You seemed to have grown a bit taller and a bit...how shall I say it...more fuller...? Come sit while I get the maid to heat up some supper for you..."

"Granniieeeee...how can you say I'm fat in a more subtle way the way you put it...! Not fair...It is just like that boy every time he eyes me when I have a snack during the time when he's so full of himself and ends up talking and talking and not letting anyone interrupt."

"You're not fat, cutie pie...I mentioned you being full because you are being a lady...not rounded around the edges and needs a push every now and then to get through the small doorway. Heh...Heh...Heh..."

"Oh...it is a compliment if that is the case, then. I thought you are criticising me or something."

"By the way, did the boy tried to touch you in any way? Kicking you in the cunt when he got the opportunity?"

"No...he just held his hands to dry my whole body, my clothes and even my bra and my panties..."

"HE WHAT WITH YOUR BODY, BRA AND PANTIES...? IT MEANS YOU ARE NO MORE A PURE FLOWER AND HAD BEEN INFILTRATED BY A BEE.....?!?"

"Grannniiieee...why are you using all the caps...? It causes me a headache and makes me want to puke..."

"HEADACHE...? PUKE...? I'M GOING TO KILL THAT BOY...!!!"

You see, ladies and gentleman, boys and girls...it pays to put your mind to work first before you open your mouth to speak. You get what I mean... Hahahahhaha...