379 8.7 'sPost It's Sticker Smiley Bandits

"WHAT do you mean by not getting any favourable results? And what happened to your suit of Armour?" asked the Sheriff in bewilderment as the three men at arms that he had sent hobbled in a few days later after making a trip to the encampment near Spottiswood.

"Sheriff, we were presented with a pouch that was filled with good coins for the 154 adventurers there and the leader of the band said that he is willing to pay 2 months upfront. However, things got ugly when he asked for a notice or a Decree from us to present to the leader to proof we are your men and are there to collect the monthly taxes."

"Everyone in this land knows that they have to pay monthly taxes of 1 shilling per villager and 1 gold coins for adventurers. The adventurers sure have a way to collect their loot after their so-called grinding with the monsters. As for the villagers, they are merely plebs and have no other variable income, unlike the others."

"Why is there a need for us to present a Decree whenever you go round to collect the taxes? Or are they simply trying to be ignorant and are Poking at a yellowjackets hive to see the reaction?"

"Moreover, that leader was quite brazen to announce 'No Decree, No Money' some sort like that and if we are not happy at what he did to us, we would go and sent our force to get him then."

"Then, what are you waiting for? Go get him and bring his head over here...!"

"The thing is that Sheriff, he merely shouted at us and we received hammering and crushing to our armour and the pressure we received was excruciating. We had no other choice but to remove our armour due to the immense pressure. It was crumpled beyond recognition and repair."

"Yes, and the force of that shout was deafening and our armour was crumpled like it was paper. It looked like it was trampled by a herd of elephants!"

"Is there such an adventurer who is that powerful now? What else did he say about thedemons encampment?"

"He just said he is not interested, that's all. Maybe he had discovered the demise of the 2 Undisputed Champions that went in and then were snuffed out within minutes and has decided not to go against them. He's afraid, I think."

"Heh, afraid of demons but not afraid of my men at arms? They are camped just 30 minutes away...!!"

"Sheriff, do you want us to gather up some more men and get the taxes by sheer numbers? Could we have a notice from you so that we could collect the taxes peacefully and be on our way?"

"The notice is a small thing, but what matters most of the gold mine that was standing there and the demons were hoarding it. The longer the demons are dominating there, who knows he might bring his whole family there his parents, grandparents, relatives, cousin and so on?"

"Who knows there might even be a Damn settlement over there deep inside the mines right now... "the Sheriff was saying this with exasperation exactly that depicts himself as a demon hoarding the mine as he himself was hoarding all the taxes.

"I'd go and gather up some more men in this case and once the notice is ready, we'd get those taxes from you right away. And yes, he also demands a receipt for the payment of taxes..."

"You mean every single one of them? Do they know how much paper would that be? Does he think that paper comes from a paper mill or something? Damn that leader of the band."

"It is one way or the other, Sheriff. We won't want to waste our time going there and getting nothing in return. We hope that with your notice in our hands, it would make substantial proof to them that we are genuinely collecting the taxes for you."

"Yes, Sheriff. He did mention about him paying us and then a group of other men comes in the next few days and starts collecting taxes again using your name."

"Alright, alright... I'd prepare the notice right away and you go and assemble some men and tell that leader to go and chase away that damnation off that mineshaft once and for all." the Sheriff waved his hands off as he entered his study to prepare the notice of demand.

"That leader seems to have brains after all. He seems to be careful of whom he pays the taxes to." the Sheriff thought to himself.

As for his men at arms, they were gathering those vagrant adventurers in Nottingham to assist them to 'persuade' Robin and his members to eradicate the demons that were domineering in Spottiswood once and for all.

...

Meanwhile back in Fenton...

"WHO KNOCKED YOU OUT?!?" asked the High Priest to his subordinates as the latter was rubbing to the bump that he had received when he entered the kitchen to ran a bite to eat.

"I have no idea, Sir. I was entering the kitchen, I then saw a black-clad figure bending over on the floor and was petting our cat when suddenly everything went black. The moment I came to, I raised the alarm of an intruder in our midst." replied the Monk with the bump on his head.

"So there must be two of them, right? Do you notice anything that was missing?" asked the High Priest as he was waiting for the report from the rest of the Monks who were scurrying around looking for signs of a break-in.

At last, when some of the Monks entered the basement where the stash was hidden, they saw many empty wooden chests that were prised open and a bright yellow Post It sticker with a big smiley face drawn in it by a sharpie.

"Sir, someone has looted all the coins and jewels and left these piece of bright yellow parchment as their mark. Something like Zorro would do with his sword, but this is more sinister." reported an elderly Monk.

"Look, sir, at how sinister face stares back on this piece of parchment. I would be half thinking it Halloween already...!"

"What...?!?! Someone looted away all the coins and jewels that we had been saving all these years? Who could have done that? Why leave a mark behind like Zorro, huh? How much did we lose?" the High Priest was shocked beyond words that perpetrators had looted away the Church's wealth that had been accumulated for some years now

"Let me take a look at the bright yellow parchment left behind by the perpetrators... We need to have a CSI team to go about and find out more about this piece if the evidence they left behind." the High Priest gestured for the Monk to hand him the bright yellow Post It.

"There might be some DNA traces left behind unless your Crummy hands had destroyed the evidence...! Quick, call the CSI to look unto this matter...! "

"Sir, We had lost all the money and jewels, Sir. Our Domesday Book would tell us how much we had collected and from whom. These serfs would have to work doubly hard on the Church's land to regain back that looted wealth." replied a Monk while he adjusted his glasses after he had compiled the figure that was taken from the basement.

"Hmph... Bloody glutton! Those looters were greedier than us...! How about the grains and seeds? Was it looted as well from the barns?"

"No, Sir, the grains in those barns were left untouched. It seems they were after that wealth, it sounds like an inside job since there were no signs of a break-in at all." replied a Kink from the outside and the High Priest was elated when he received the news.

Those perpetrators only took what's would be the most accessible and easy for them to carry and recycle, instead of getting rid of it

"No signs of a break-in? Call in Pink Panther as well to do these investigative works. If need be, call Inspector Gadget to see that these perpetrators would be handed by us."

"We would be chopping their hands off and gouge their eyes out...!!! HUARGH... how can it happen to us? All those around here better not leak out these crimes, you understand?"

"It's good fortune that we had given the monthly taxes to the Sheriff earlier. No one should leak this news to the outside, do you understand?"

"Yes sir, we understand that very well. Shall we tell the same to the CSI, Pink Panther and Inspector Gadget since these will be made known to them?"

"Just don't spread it to the public...!! " replied the Priest as he mulled around the Church's prayer hall with his hands in his head like it was going to split open if not for the little crown on his head.

"Yes Sir..." the Monks replied and went about to call the authorities and by midday, the CSI, Pink Panther and Inspector Gadgets had come to a conclusion.

"You were robbed clean by whom may call themselves as 'The Post It Sticker Smiley Bandits" or' PISS' for short. You were recalled pissed by them, in other words. What a nice ring to it... " reported the CSI after making the evaluation based on the evidence at hand.

"Did you piss anyone in order to get pissed back for these people, a couple of months back? Their work is very professional. Furthermore, you do not have CCTV security cameras set up so, it's a case based on your words though." said Pink Panther.

"Well, it seems so, doesn't it. Maybe the Church schemed this to get more people to contribute to the taxes to bring them to the highest level in Heaven. HAH...! "retorted Inspector Gadget.

"Well, in that's the case, we'd better take our leave since we had wrapped up the case for now. It's an open and shut case, so if there's any development, please get in touch with us. Here our card, you may call us directly to our office during the office hours." a CSI agent handed a thin nameplate made of iron and handed it to the High Priest so that he could hang it around his neck for easy access.

The authorities took their leave and left behind a befuddled High Priest and his men and was thinking of how they are going collect their wealth back again since they had lost everything.

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"Raise those taxes to 10%... If they can't pay the money, let them pay in grains or seeds. Sell those rat infested grains in the marketplace and gain back the wealth as soon as possible." said the High Priest at last as he made a new account entry in the Domesday Book stated as Zero.