111 Loneliness

Su Li gave a pain-filled smile at that question.

"Happy? Yes, I suppose I should be happy, shouldn't I?"

But before the other person could answer her rhetorical question, she turned to face the other person and relentlessly questioned.

"Tell me, would you be happy if you realised that the person you love had been keeping secrets from you?"

Ning Fu decided to play the devil's advocate because he knew that if he agreed at those words, the monarch would clamp up and he wouldn't be able to get the answers to his questions.

He supposed he could ask Zhou Sheng but the younger boy didn't seem like someone who would break the monarch's confidence.

Moreover, he would be only able to give him the details from the point of view of an observer.

"Maybe the person had his difficulties and didn't want to burden you with their problems?'

Su Li shook her head at those words.

"No. It's not like that. Even my father didn't tell me the truth."

When she saw the pity-filled look directed at her, Su Li waved her hand and turned her eyes away.

"Don't give me that look. I have accepted the fact that I loved and lost. Nothing more and nothing less."

Ning Fu wondered what had happened to that person.

Were they still alive and estranged from the monarch due to their secrets or if they had long passed the mortal coil?

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If the other person was no more, it would be akin to opening the monarch's wound and Ning Fu didn't know why his heart thudded at the prospect, a wave of bitterness rising without a particular reason.

He staunchly ignored the tightness in his heart.

"I suppose I must have lacked that inherent quality that makes people trust each other. Ha! To be idiotic enough to not realise that someone had been lying to my face all this while and never even doubting them but then everybody joined hands to deceive me, didn't they?"

She laughed bitterly and that laugh had the undertones of self-contempt and sadness.

Ning Fu felt his heart clench painfully at that and tried to reassure the emperor. At this moment, he didn't care what had happened or what history the monarch had with the person they loved.

All he cared was to wipe that look of utter sadness from the monarch's face and blamed himself for dredging up a topic and memories that he had known must be painful to the other person, just to satiate his curiosity without giving a single thought as to how it would affect the other person.

"Your Majesty, this lowly one is sure that your Majesty is overthinking things. How could anyone feel that Your Majesty is untrustworthy? It's nothing like that."

However, his words seemed to have the opposite effect of what he had intended because a smile of terrible grief appeared on the monarch's face.

"Trustworthy? Even Zhen himself doesn't trust himself, let alone expect it from others. Now, Zhen doesn't expect trust from anyone."

When Ning Fu noticed the state of the monarch – a few wisps of hair that had escaped from the tight bun - a few long ones had already escaped the top-knot, the loneliness and desolation in those eyes that generally sparked with life and vibrancy, he exhaled a long breath as a strong emotion surged in his heart.

Unable to stop himself and bypassing any social etiquette that he had rigorously followed since childhood, he extracted his arm from the monarch's grip which had loosened of its own accord during their talk and when the other person looked at him questioningly, he reached out to pull the other person in a one-armed hug.

However, he was disappointed because the monarch struggles in his arms and broke free of them and then silently turned his face to look at the vast sky that was jutted with stars that twinkled like diamonds.

By now, Su Li had already lost some of her drunkenness and was feeling more aware of her surroundings.

She quickly realised that the person by her side was none other than The Unit Commander of The Devil Snare Army, Ning Fu.

Though she felt reluctant when she thought about the words exchanged between them, she didn't bother asking him any questions or even explaining herself any further.

After all, both of them were akin to the parallel running railway tracks, they might go a long distance but they were destined to never cross each other and the best example of that was that she was the monarch and he was her subject.

In this time period, she couldn't be close to any of the courtiers, not only due to the fear of having even more tongues wagging but more so due to her identity.

Nevertheless, she couldn't contain her acerbic words when she thought about how this person had cleverly tried to probe her about something that was none of his business and was very personal to him.

"Beloved Official, Zhen has to say that Zhen didn't think that you weren't a simple-minded military buff but also a fox who knew how to wheedle out information from your liege."