No Stat Sheets

My desk is now fully clean, Cherry and Peri bring us all a cup of relaxing tea, and together we just sit here in silence for a few moments after the maids excuse themselves.

“So... you’ve been dealing with stupid shit like this every time she talks to you, Boss?” Sam pats me on the back with sympathy.

“More or less. I’d rather we not dwell on it. Do any of you mind if I just get back to explaining what little I know about Taskmaster, now?” I ask with a sigh and hang my head. “I would like to get a move on with the day’s activities.”

‘As long as we all agree to never speak of this again.’ Zutiria frowns.

“I wouldn’t worry about that.” Meri looks off into the distance with a single tear in her eye, her smile and optimism- gone.

We all agree to get a move on, so I bring up the Guild Roster screen once more. It’s time to start seeing what Taskmaster is truly capable of. I click on Sam’s icon to show them all what happens with the portraits on the roster. Sam’s profile is brought up and I resize it with my hands to make it big enough for all of us to read.

Like Zutiria before her, the dossier has a picture of Sam on the left showing exactly what she’s wearing right now down to the little bandaid on her nose.

I only ever skimmed Zutiria’s when we first looked at it two days ago, but now I pour over every detail that the Princess’s dossier has to offer.

“Let’s get started, then, shall we?” I adjust my glasses and lean in.

-------------------------------------

-NAME-

Samantha Lundreame

-CLASS-

Great Blader

-RANK-

Bronze

-AGE-

18

-PERSONALITY-

Loyal, Proud, Kind, Bratty, Tomboyish, Angry, Impatient, Spoiled, Slutty

-BLESSINGS-

Royal Blood

-SKILLS-

Being Attractive, Being a Bad Girl, Making Daddy Hard, Avoiding Her Family 

-LIKES-

Daddy, Sex with Daddy, Sexy Bitches, Being a Sexy Bitch, Sex with Sexy Bitches, Sex with Daddy AND Sexy Bitches, Fighting, Killing Monsters, Training, Becoming Stronger

-DISLIKES-

Demon Lord, Real Dad, Crown Prince, Dresses, Being a Princess, Politics, Brushing Her Hair, Excessive Makeup, Reading, Meditation, Critical Thinking, Being Treated Like a Kid

-FETISHES-

Older Men, DDLG, Rough Play, Deep Throating, Big Tits, Anal

-CURRENT MOOD-

Angry that this dossier is mostly praising her abilities as a slut instead of as a warrior.

-CURRENT LOCATION-

Dewhurst Adventurer’s Guild

-BIRTHPLACE-

Imperalis

-EQUIPMENT- 

Low-Class Dwarven Armor

Generic Big Dumb Sword with Shitty Handle

Lucky Thong

-------------------------------------

Below all of the text is a button that reads ARTS LIST but when clicking on it it simply goes to a blank page with an arrow at the top left leading to the previous page. This obviously reflects that Sam doesn’t currently know any Arts, much to her annoyance.

“FUCKER EVEN KNOWS ABOUT MY THONG?!” Sam angrily looks skyward and blushes, though for the life of me I can’t imagine why. It’s not like she’s been walking around in a thong day in day out for weeks now or anything...

‘Well it was right about the angry part.’ The Mage remarks.

“NO, THERE’S NOTHING RIGHT ABOUT ANY OF THIS! Not only does it fucking call my Royal Blood a BLESSING- It... it makes me sound like a... a bimbo WHORE with a fetish for older dudes!”

To everyone’s surprise, the ‘DISLIKES’ section of Sam’s dossier glows magically and a new addition appears, along with a sarcastic musical sting that rings out in mock celebration.

-------------------------------------

-DISLIKES-

Demon Lord, Real Dad, Crown Prince, Dresses, Being a Princess, Politics, Brushing Her Hair, Excessive Makeup, Reading, Meditation, Critical Thinking, Being Treated Like a Kid, The Truth(NEW!)

-------------------------------------

Sam’s eye twitches and she looks straight at me. “I’m never going to church again. EVER.”

‘Yes because I’m sure that was on your agenda before the Goddess personally mocked you, Sammy.’

“SHUT UP, ZUZU!”

“Y-Y-Y-Y-You put it up your b-b-butt?!” For whatever reason that’s Meri’s big takeaway and the Shield Maiden looks at my crotch then at Sam’s butt, unable to comprehend the idea that the two have indeed become acquainted at several points over the last month.

“None of this seems all that useful if I’m being honest.” I scratch the back of my head and start to feel largely unimpressed, at least by this part. “I suppose it would be useful to summon it up and hand it off if I needed to quickly show someone your details, Sam, but...”

“Oh yeah, Boss, just hand clients the list of my fucking fetishes and this Guild will be flooded with quest offers!” The Princess crosses her arms in justified rage.

“In the butt...?” Meri echoes as she continues to stare off at nothing in particular. Is she really that surprised? I would have figured at least ONE of the books she’s read from my collection would have had an anal scene in it by now...

‘It could be a lot worse. I was worried that your power would just devolve into some sort of absurd magical spreadsheet of arbitrary numerical values that would only make sense to you, Sir. You said the system is based on Dwarven tabletop games that the Goddess plays, yes? I’ve read the sourcebooks before and have seen the complicated skill lists and stat points that go into every second of the calculations. I’m relieved it didn’t go in that direction and that this is more or less just a standard dossier. Can you imagine how tedious it would become if you constantly had to check our numbers during every encounter?’

“I suppose you’re right... Hang on, why would you read sourcebooks for a game you’d never play? You’re about as much of a lonely shut in as I am.” I ask while imagining Zutiria alone in her tower reading role playing game manuals.

‘I liked the art.’ She shrugs her shoulders.

“Whatever, that’s enough nerd shit. My poor brain is still reeling from earlier and we ALL know she ain’t got much horsepower as it is.” Sam groans and rolls her eyes, then points to below her portrait. “What’s all this junk below my picture?”

“Below, my dear... Below is where the magic happens.”

“The magic happens... below...” Meri looks down and blushes, eyes darting back to Sam’s butt once more with not a hint of subtlety or shyness about it.

“...Meri? Meri, are you still with us?” I start snapping my fingers in front of her face, causing the distracted maiden to jump in her place and back into reality.

“HWAAA! Y-Yes, Master! Um, sourcebooks and stats and Sam likes big tits and a-a-a-anal!”

‘Yes that’s more or less the gist of things, I suppose.’

“...Moving on, let me show you. It’s going to be hard to believe but Sam, I’m going to ask you to leave the office for just a moment.”

“But you just said you were gonna show me!”

“I am. Leave the room and shut the door. When you hear my voice do exactly as I tell you. This will be the best way to demonstrate the power, I think.”

“Uh... kay. You’re the Boss.”

Sam shuts the door behind her on the way out, and I turn to Meri. “Watch this.” Clicking the button below her picture that reads ‘CAMERA’, the screen morphs into a display of Sam’s real time surroundings from behind her back. The Shield Maiden gasps as I use my implanted knowledge to cycle this ‘camera’ thing and change the viewing angle from almost any point around her within a pretty flexible range. I’m also able to zoom in and out fairly far, too, and even more impressively if I click on Sam’s head it transitions into a live feed of literally seeing through her eyes in a point of view shot.

I will say in all honesty I don’t know a lot of the terms I just stated. Whatever information Luxy beamed into my head, within it was a bunch of terminology that I now instinctively know. I may not know what a camera normally is, but in this context I know for sure it’s a viewing device that I can reposition just by moving around my hands on top of the screen.

I position the camera to view Sam from the front. She’s impatiently tapping her feet, awaiting for whatever is supposed to happen to happen. “Sam?”

“Disembodied magic voice of Boss?” Sam sarcastically asks while looking around for the source of my voice.

“Hold up any number of fingers you want, and I’m going to guess them.”

“Well, alright? This is fucking weird. Is Zuzu helping you use Farspeech or something?” The Princess tilts her head and extends three fingers on her left hand.

I tell her that no, this is my power, and I tell her the fingers she’s holding up. She can’t believe it but upon my request Sam doesn’t re-enter the room, instead we go through another few rounds of this and I correctly ‘guess’ each round until Sam can’t hold back her curiosity any longer.

She bursts back in the room and darks to the couch to look at the screen in wonder. “Holy SHIT.” Sam remarks.

With my power now demonstrated I take the time to show all three of them the features of this camera mode. The vast majority of the Taskmaster screen is devoted to the viewing, but there are a number of combat statistics on display as well.

There’s a red meter that says ‘HEALTH’, a green meter that says ‘STAMINA’, and a section that says ‘STATUS - Normal’. I figure it probably tells me if the girl became poisoned or something along those lines.

I open Zutiria’s camera as well, confirming that I can have more than one Taskmaster screen open at one time. The only difference between the two is that instead of a green meter, Zutiria has a blue one labeled ‘MANA’. Something depressing yet important to note is that Zutiria’s mana circuit atrophy is represented by Taskmaster. The mana meter is large, but at least 95% of it is completely grayed out leaving only a scant portion of the meter.

I have no frame of reference for how big these meters usually are, but the mana meter is at least four times longer than her health meter. Something tells me that’s not normal, yet as one would expect I don’t press the matter with her. It would only upset both Zutiria and our current group mood as a whole.

“Master... this is amazing...!!” Meri blushes and looks into my eyes. “With a power like this, you’ll be able to help us on quests without actually coming with!”

‘It’s very convenient, for sure. But we have a lot of testing to do to determine its full capabilities, Sir.’ Zutiria shifts her glasses, eagerly awaiting the oncoming period of research and experiments.

“Well put, Zutiria. My thoughts exactly. That’s why today I’m going to send you and Sam on some quests so that I can start making use of Taskmaster.”

Meri looks at me and nervously frowns. “M-Master...? Why not me, too? I did good the other day with the moth and the caterpillars and, um-”

I smile and kiss the innocent brunette on her forehead. “You’re not leaving my side until you reach Bond Level Two my dear, sweet Meri.”

“Ah- uh- hwaa?!” She blushes and hides behind her gauntleted fists.

“I can’t use the Camera and voice on you as of yet, though your bar has gone up a bit since I last saw it two days ago.”

I bring up the Guild Roster menu and point below Meri’s grayed out icon towards what I’ll now be calling the Love Meter and see that it’s a little past three fourths of the way towards leveling up.

“Oh, ahhh... o-ok, Master...” Meri continues to act shy about it but it’s clear to see she’s very excited about the prospect of spending some one on one time with each other.

As weird as it is assigning numerical values to my lovers like this, I won’t deny it feels nice to have more of an excuse to enjoy my time with them. It’s not that I needed one, more that my mind is always so focused on work, stress and business to the point that it leads to episodes like the last few days where I become unable to focus. It’s what led to my worst depression, after all...

“Hold up a sec, Boss!” Sam stands up and stamps her armored foot down. “I don’t deserve to be the only one put on display, y’know!” Her smile becomes predatory in nature, her eyes like a hungry Kissuaran vulture. “Show us Zuzu’s profile thingy.”

‘No.’ The Mage blushes and stands up to try and hit Sam with her staff, but the Princess is ready for it and catches it in her hand.

“Yes.”

“I-I kinda wanna see it, too...!”

‘No.’ Zutiria pulls her staff out of Sam’s clutches and bonks Meri on the head, who does not catch it.

“OUCHIE!” Meri rubs the top of her head and frowns.

Laughing, I put my shoulder on Zutiria. “How about I let you read it first and make sure there’s nothing too upsetting on it?”

She frowns and eventually nods her head at me. ‘That would suffice, I suppose...’