Chapter 16.4

He sucked on his lips and raked the inside of his mouth with his tongue. Jae Young’s mouth tasted just like him. Spicy and red.

Sang Woo rushed to eat Jae Young, but it was the wrong move. Even if he acted violently, his thirst wouldn’t go away.

He tried to take his lips off, but this time, Jae Young didn’t let go. He wrapped his palm around Sang Woo’s neck, bent his head, and kissed him gently. Before he knew it, his neck touched the cold wall and the back of his head was crushed. It was difficult to tell whether the violent pounding of his chest was due to pain or excitement. Everything seemed to be mixed up. Anger and lust, salty and sweet.

It was a mess. Sang Woo couldn’t remember anything and forgot how to breathe. He had no choice but to wrap his arms around Jae Young’s neck while giving into him.

After the long kiss, Jae Young whispered, “You’re dissatisfied, right?”

His cheeks were dyed red and heavy breath escaped his mouth. Sang Woo was speechless.

“I have an anger management disorder.”

“I’ve never heard you say such nonsense.”

When he picked up his hat and came out, the sky had already turned darker. The moon, which was split in half from a high place, glowed brightly.

Jae Young seemed to know the complicated alleys as well as his own house. Drunk people passed by on the dark streets, and foreigners were seen taking off their shirts or painting their faces. After nearly colliding into the people walking from across the street, Jae Young walked around with his arms wrapped around Sang Woo’s shoulders, as if close friends holding each other’s shoulders.

They soon arrived at the parking lot. Jae Young let Sang Woo get in first and returned after paying the ticket.

“Give me your account number so I can transfer you half of the food, parking, and studio deposit.”

“Later.”

“Just let me know. It’s too tiring to withdraw cash.”

Jae Young pulled out of the parking lot, ignoring Sang Woo’s words. Sang Woo looked out the tinted window sullenly. Still, he felt a little better after getting in a quiet car after suffering in a hectic place. The trip back was silent, and Jae Young’s car ran coolly as if representing Sang Woo’s frustration. Jae Young connected his cell phone to the speaker and played music but didn’t say anything at all.

“Psychedel 2nd album Pressure, track 7, down tempo.”

“Right.”

The first song on Jae Young’s playlist was slow. He didn’t know what instrument it was, but Sang Woo thought that the low sound that thumped was similar to a heart beating. The slow electronic sound calmed his emotions, which had been on and off all day, and made him feel drowsy. Sang Woo leaned deeply into his seat, feeling like he was diving. Then, Jae Young turned up the volume.

The car was running along the Han River before they knew it. The elusive time went slowly along the flowing waters. The fifth song began to play and the car slid over the bridge. Sang Woo opened the window and let the soft wind hit his cheeks.

“Yoon Si Yeol’s 1st album, Day and Night, Track 1, Temperature Difference.”

Jae Young didn’t answer, but Sang Woo knew.

The car slowly stopped after entering the park. When the engine turned off, the music and engine sounds that had become uncomfortable disappeared.

From the parking lot of the park, there was a clear view of the river. The main attraction was an arch bridge that shone white with the bottom submerged in the water. Like an LED bulb, the light shining on the river refracted and danced whenever the medium gently waved. The dwellings on both hills connected by the bridge were emitting orange light and struggled to avoid being swallowed up in the dark night. Sang Woo had lived in Seoul for three years now, but he had never seen the night view of the river in such detail.

Jae Young, who’d been silent the whole time, spoke, “Pretty.”

That was exactly what he said. Even without stars in the sky, everything twinkled including the flickering satellites.

“That’s true. Only that the pupils are enlarged at night and the light looks scattered.”

“No, I mean you.”

Jae Young, who was looking at Sang Woo with a calm expression, smiled softly. Sang Woo quickly avoided his gaze. He felt the heat when he lifted his palm and put it to his cheek. Didn’t he mean handsome? He often heard it from adults when he went to his relatives’ houses, but he never heard someone compliment him as pretty.

“You’re prettier,” Sang Woo muttered to himself.

That’s why people around him would look at Jae Young with their mouth wide open, wanting to talk with him for the first time. Sang Woo was usually with Jae Young in the practice room, so he knew little about how he went out and around. Until now, he wasn’t bothered about it.

‘It feels offensive.’

He felt like he opened the door of a room he shouldn’t have entered. He was overwhelmed with worry that the darkness in it poisoned him and he could never go back the way that it used to. Thoughts spread like wildfire. How many people followed Jae Young because they liked him, how many of them did he date, and how many people have come here to the river next to him. A series of questions that didn’t help at all came to mind and bothered Sang Woo.

“Now tell me why you were so upset.”

Jae Young’s voice broke the silence.

“I’m not upset.”

“I paid for it.”

“I told you not.”

“I paid for it.”

Sang Woo frowned, feeling strange emotions. Generally speaking, up until now, he felt better seeing Jae Young, but he kept getting angry today. Sang Woo sat straight again and turned his head to the left.

It’s been a long time since he saw Jae Young’s blank expression. There was no playfulness in his slightly droopy eyes, and his mouth was closed in a tight straight line. He couldn’t figure out what was on his mind.

His hand came close to his eyes and turned his brim to set the hat aside. Then he pressed the top of his head firmly.

Jae Young stared at him and said, “Sang Woo.”

He didn’t answer and stared into his eyes. The good-looking lips heaved a small sigh and whispered.

“Are you mad that you lost time when you had to work?”

“No.”

“If you have a complaint with me, you have to say it.”

“There isn’t.”

When he answered honestly, Jae Young’s forehead crinkled. His bright eyes carefully examined Sang Woo’s face as if trying to figure out if he was being truthful with his answer. The volume and heat of his gaze made Sang Woo feel as if he was touching his cheek. He felt as if his chest was suffocating endlessly.

“Are you going back to that studio?”

“No. I was supposed to receive their output by email.”

“People looked at you at the restaurant.”

“Well, how about it? I don’t wear off just by looking.”

“Hyung, you’re a playboy, aren’t you?”

“No, I’m not.”

“How many people have you dated so far?”

“Five thousand.”

‘I knew it.’

Sang Woo, who’d been serious all this time, was angered by his mischievous face. Avoiding points, talking nonsense, and playing around. It’s been more than three months since he met Jang Jae Young, so he knew his techniques well. Jae Young laughed silently and pulled Sang Woo’s shoulder and hugged him. Sang Woo held his breath without even knowing why he was acting like that.

Pressing his chin over his forehead, he said, “The robot vacuum cleaner is jealous, and the firmware has improved a lot.”

‘Jealousy?’

Sang Woo rolled his eyes as Jae Young hugged him. Jealousy was such a meaningless word that didn’t apply to the situation, let alone to a rational person like him.

“No, nothing like that.”

“What do you mean no?”

“I told you it’s not the case.”

“Yes, I see,” Jae Young murmured as he tightened his arm around him.

His temperature was too hot for 36.5°C. Sang Woo couldn’t help but question the heat.

What was the advantage of Jang Jae Young dating him over healthy women of marriageable age? He thought about it for a while, but could only think of the same reason. Jae Young aroused Sang Woo’s sexual desire and relieved him effectively. Maybe Sang Woo meant the same to him.

“Jae Young hyung.”

“Yes?”

“Why are you dating me?”

“There are so many reasons. Do I have to enumerate everything?”

“Yes.”

“First of all… You have a pretty neck.”

His fingertips that stayed behind Sang Woo’s ears slipped on his neck.

“Your face is cute, too. You’re cuter when you smile.”

His hand gently wrapped itself around Sang Woo’s cheek.

“Your fair skin and body are my cup of tea…”

“That means you only like me on the outside. I understand.”

“Why are you in such a hurry? It’s just the beginning. I can give you a hundred reasons,” Jae Young muttered and lowered his arm.

Sang Woo wanted to keep his face buried in his shoulder, but Jae Young’s touch made him fall slowly.

He seemed to have something to say. His eyes were twinkling like stars that contrasted the dark night skies. A large palm tugged firmly on the back of his neck, preventing him from looking elsewhere, and a low voice tickled his ears.

“I don’t need it all, and I have a really big reason.”

“…”

“I can’t tell you, because it would be obvious that you’d run away after.”

Sang Woo barely opened his mouth because he was too nervous even though he had no reason to.

“Tell me.”