Chapter 227 - Letting Myself Go

Kizhashi's comment made both of them quite shocked. They glanced at me and Gaisen let out a chuckle while Tsūmen stared at me with confusion on his face and asked, "Dude… see! And she confessed to you already?"

"Maybe she moves on quickly." I replied, as there are people who aren't emotionally attached to relationships and move on quickly. It wasn't like I was trying to defend her, but I was surely trying to look at the broader spectrum of things.

"Furata won't be able to move on. He truly liked her, but I don't know if I can say that to her." Kizhashi said, glancing at me, as Tsūmen slouched down and sighed as he asked sarcastically, "Bruh changes boys like I change my socks. What the heck?!"

"You don't even wear socks." I pointed out with a bored look on my face as he closed his mouth and looked at me awkwardly while saying, "That's not the problem here!"

"But I think she really likes him though…" Kizhashi said as she shook her head and looked at Tsūmen, who narrowed his eyes at her and asked her, "Are you losing brain cells too?"

"She has them?" I asked, looking at her as she rolled her eyes and showed me her middle finger with an annoyed smile on her face, "Fuck off!"

"Why do you think that?" Gaisen asked her, as her eyes shifted towards him. He gave her an awkward smile, to which she chuckled slightly and said, "Because of the way she looks at him. It's almost like he is a prize in her eyes."

"Huh?" I looked at her with clear confusion on my face as she pointed at me and added, "He was there when they broke up. Actually, they broke up because of him."

"Dude… what the…" Tsūmen looked at me in disbelief as I laughed sheepishly and said, "It's not my fault. Look at the positive side. I helped that dude out of a toxic relationship."

"Yeah, and became his replacement. Absolutely genius." Tsūmen said while clapping sarcastically along with Gaisen, who was laughing. 

"Thanks."

"Are you trying to piss me off?" He narrowed his eyes at me as I said, "Bet."

"Tsūmen… see, it's his decision. If he gets hurt, he'll just take it as a lesson." Gaisen said, patting Tsūmen's shoulders as Kizhashi looked at me dubiously and asked, "Does he even feel anything?"

"Good point." Tsūmen nodded, as Gaisen glanced at me and asked, "Why are you going into a relationship with her then?"

I looked at their curious eyes staring at me. Well, of course, it was rather strange from Tsūmen's and Gaisen's perspective since they knew me as the guy with no romantic needs. I stayed silent for a while before replying, "I just wanted to see if this thing is really as good as people say."

"This thing… man doesn't even consider it an emotion." Kizhashi face palmed herself as Gaisen laughed while Tsūmen stared at me in awe. The drastic difference in their reaction was funny. Gaisen looked at me and asked, "So you're basically trying out a relationship with her?"

"Yes. Though I don't have much hope." I replied, as Tsūmen looked at me with a smug smile and asked, "Saishi… by any chance… Do you have a thing for those types of girls?"

"First of all… what happened to your love is a waste of time ideology?" Gaisen asked me, as I replied, "Uh it is a waste of time and effort."

"Aren't you contradicting yourself here?" Tsūmen asked me to which I replied in a rather diplomatic manner, "Am I?"

They all stared at me for a while before Gaisen let out a sigh and smiled as he said, "Ah, let's not bug him. I don't think it's a good idea to interfere with his decisions."

"I'm not bugging him… jeez! My bad, dude." Tsūmen raised his hand in the air, surrendering himself as Kizhashi nodded and said, "But you still can't deny the fact that expecting Sakamaki to be in a relationship is quite the impossible thing."

"On top of that with a girl like that." Tsūmen added with a baffled look on his face as they all shared a laughter among themselves. Though I had a serious look on my face as I wondered about Shiraishi.

"Shiraishi… is messed up. I'm aware of it." I said a bit hesitantly, but before any of them could ask me anything, I showed them my palm and continued, "Don't ask why… I just feel like letting myself go with the flow."

"Letting yourself go with the flow, huh?" Kizhashi repeated the last part in a low voice as I glanced at her for a moment before Gaisen commented, "I assume that you're probably coming out of your shell to try out new things?"

"That's one way to put it." I said, shifting my gaze towards him. Tsūmen put his hand on my shoulders as he said in a concerned tone, "Saishi… be careful, man. I know you don't care about these things…"

"Don't worry. You know me." I replied, as Gaisen narrowed his eyes at me and said in a wry tone, "You're lucky that you have that. I wish I could be like you."

He thought that not being able to attach with anyone was a desirable trait to have, but I considered it a rather burden upon myself. Knowing everything, observing everything, but not being able to properly connect with it.

"It sometimes feels like a strength but other times it just leaves me feeling empty for days." I said in a plain tone, as Kizhashi called out from behind in a curious voice, "What? Tell me!"

"Nothing of your interest." I replied as she stared at me and said, "I'm curious."

"Yeah, and I don't care." I nodded and replied as she narrowed her eyes and a frown formed on her face. With an irritated tone, she shot back, "Wow! Rude! Why are you spoiled!?"

Though our conversation ended there, Tsūmen and Gaisen laughed at the brief exchange between me and Kizhashi, who was now pissed and wouldn't look in my direction.