Chapter 112 - Like Every Other Person

Lilith's POV

Sitting before me, Saishi was looking at me with so much contempt in his eyes that it made me recall the fact that at the end of the day, he was also a human. 

After all, he doesn't have the curse that I bear. After all, he will die one day and his existence will cease. And after all, he was also scared of death, like every other person I met over the years.

This is the first time I'm seeing him in so much agitation. He never raised his voice up until this moment. But it's not his fault that he doesn't know about the contract.

It's not his fault for expecting help from me, but I could do nothing except staying still and watch how events unfold. I can't interfere even if I wanted to. I hate being a dead weight.

This complete mess wasn't my fault to begin with, but one other person was responsible for this. It was all his fault. He successfully threw dirt on my name. My only fault was that I played along with his plan.

He took everything from me. 

My house, my homeland, my name. 

My dignity. 

No matter how much I tried to prove my innocence, no one paid any attention to me because all the evidence was also against me. 

But neither did people understand me there, nor will they understand me here. In some respect, people of hell and the human realm were similar. Just that the people here wear a mask to hide the devil inside them.

"You think I don't realise that helping you in this contract would have been much easier!?" I asked in a rough tone.

"Well… I don't know… you seem like a sadistic bitch who enjoys tormenting humans…" He instantly replied with a sharp tone. I don't know why, but mere words from a lowly being such as a human hurt me a lot that day.

I enjoyed tormenting humans? He thinks I do this because I enjoy this? Is he being serious or has his emotions got the better of him? I don't like this! I don't enjoy being stuck here for three centuries now. I despised this place more than anything, but I had no other choice.

I looked at him and he was staring at me with the same disgust in eyes that people over the years have kept giving me. The same cold eyes with a hint of hostility in them.

A sudden wave of anger washed over me and before I could process anything, I was already grabbing him by his neck and sitting on top of him. He was breathing heavily, but his eyes didn't waver for even a moment.

"Saishi!" I hissed at him in such an aggressive tone that any other person would have wet their pants at this point. But neither did he look away from me, nor did he try to fight back.

"What!? You want to kill me?" He said while his dark cold eyes were pierced right into mine. My fingers were tightening around his neck, and his eyelids were moving upwards and he was having trouble speaking because his voice box was being crushed.

"Do it… I know you can kill me at any instant… do it!" His words carried more weight this time. His face was becoming pale and his breathing was becoming heavier. His eyes were slowly closing.

"I…" Looking at him, the image of a person overlaid upon his face. He had the same black hairs as him and the same dead eyes that were colder than a winter night. In his last moments, he struggled like this, too. He cursed me, cursed his life, cursed his fate, cursed himself. But he finally met his fate that feared so much, as I was standing before him with his heart in my hand, and blood flowing down his chest and mouth.

"Do it!" He yelled at me and his hands were over mine now forcing me to tighten my grip even more. I didn't want to kill him. I can't kill him. I don't want to stain my hands again. I'm tired of everything. 

I'm so tired.

"I can't goddammit!" I tried to remove my hand, but his hands were covering mine and his grip was tightening. He had this crazy look in his eyes that showed no trace of fear.

"I would rather die than live with no surety if I would be able to see tomorrow or not." He finally removed his hands from mine and I let go of his neck. The prints of my fingers were printed on his pale neck and his voice box moved as took a hard gulp.

I was still on top of him and he was laying still with his eyes focused on me and sweat drenching his forehead. There was a long silence between us and he was finally breathing normally again.

Looking at his face, I sighed and said my honest feelings about this matter. "You can't die. At least not now."

"How are you so sure about it?" He asked me.

I stared at him as he said that. Of course, I can't tell him that I was using him to complete a contract and now that he was so useful to me, I can't let go of an efficient tool like him.

"I can't say that." I replied.

"Again the same shit…" He was coughing slightly and was having problems speaking properly.

"Listen… I'll definitely tell you about it someday…" Knowing that one day or other I would just have to tell him about. It's just that it was not the moment.

"I promise… but not right now." Looking at his hesitant expression, I moved the little finger of my hand, which was close to his, and wrapped it around his little finger gently.

Over the years, I have learnt a few things from human culture and this was one of them. If someone does this while they make a promise, then it simply means that they indeed will keep their promise truthfully to the end.

"I don't care about it." He said in the usual plain tone while caressing his neck. 

I was feeling bad for reacting that way and hurting him. It wasn't his fault that he said those things. Of course he won't know. And like every other person, he will also not understand me, so I won't blame him for that.