Chapter 113 - I Feel Nothing Now

I was walking towards the class while wondering about how I should proceed with my approach today. The current thing I know is that she outright rejected me and this incident spread over the school. Though, this actually helped my reputation to go up, even though it may or may not be useful to me later.

I was walking to the class. Some students who knew me or rather saw me once or shared classes with me were giving me looks, and I was somewhat sure that they were making fun of my rejection.

Not paying any attention to me, I kept walking while reminiscing about the incident that happened with Lilith yesterday. It was the first time she physically attacked me with pure aggression for a moment.

The fact that I'm alive right now and walking freely was quite shocking, but the feeling of having an upper hand upon her was quite thrilling. Seeing her on the edge of her limits excited me. I wanted to see how much I can push her and it seems like the results were indeed interesting.

Entering the class, I was hit by the atmosphere of chatting around me. I walked towards my seat and along the way I stole a glance at Kizhashi, who was playing with her mobile while talking with her friends.

I sat down and stretched my arms a bit. Tsūmen was talking with some guys and just nodded as our eyes met to acknowledge my presence. I hoped Kizhashi did what I told her to. I'll text her during lunchtime.

Resting my chin on my left hand, I closed my eyes for a bit. The homeroom started soon and the first two periods were English. Ms Tachibana started a new lesson and continued it for the first period.

As the second period started, she told us that since it's still the start of the new semester; the pressure is less, so she won't teach us extra and allow us to relax for the next period.

Since the sports festival was just next week, she also instructed Gaisen and Kana to take the names of the students who will take part in the events from our class. 

The mood of the class was quite uplifted as she said those because of sure that everyone was eagerly waiting for when they could give their names for the events.

The way the participation system works is that students from specific clubs can take part in the respective events, such as Tsūmen in archery. But students also take part in events individually, like Kana participating in tennis.

And the week before a sports festival is the period when a particular number of participants are selected from all the people who gave their name. The only downside of participating individually was that the student had to clear the selections.

Though those were the rules, students in charge use this according to their preferences, like giving their friend's name for clearing their name for selection or last moment participation. But since this whole thing doesn't interest me in any way, I'll keep out of this.

I turned towards Tsūmen and noticed him staring at me with a strange look in eyes. His mouth was half open, and I could tell that he was genuinely concerned about something.

"Is something wrong?" I asked.

"Bent your neck a little." He said in a hesitant voice. I was a bit confused as to why he said that but bent it anyway. He narrowed his eyes and then shifted his gaze towards my eyes.

"Did you get into a fight or something?" He leaned a bit closer towards me.

"Why?" I moved my head backwards, and a frown formed on my face.

"Those marks… it looks like someone tried to choke you." He advanced his hands towards my neck and as soon as those words left his mouth, I understood it was the mark that Lilith left.

"Oh… no no… I was… actually…" I should have taken some precautions about hiding those, but I didn't expect anyone to notice those marks as they faded quite a lot overnight.

"Saishi… is everything alright dude?" He narrowed his green eyes at me with a soft smile. I guess he just has sharp eyes since he does archery.

"Yeah, yeah don't worry…" I shook my left hand gently and chuckled while rubbing the back of my neck.

"No you actually have been acting weird for the past few months… are you alright?" He asked with a bit of pressure on his voice.

"Yes, absolutely and I'm not acting weird." I replied with a laid back tone. This guy knows me too well.

"You definitely are." He chuckled and tilted his head in a manner that indicated that I was quite obvious about it.

"These marks…" I tried to retort, but he interrupted me and continued.

"You suddenly trying to get a girlfriend, these marks… by any chance… are you depressed?"

"Don't worry dude, depression is something that I'm unfazed by at this point of time." I said as it was true. It's been a long time since I have been depressed or cried over something. It's not like I was trying to hide my emotions, it's just that I don't feel them at this point.

"Ignoring your feelings isn't really a good thing, you know?" He said quite seriously.

"I don't care to be honest." I shrugged and leaned back on my chair.

"Did something happen with your parents again?" He asked again. I appreciate that he was concerned about me, but I couldn't tell him anything about me considering my circumstances.

"No, no… that's not the case." I sighed.

"Then what's the case?" He leaned forward and stared into my eyes. His eyes were rather calm and collected.

"Nothing… believe me." I nodded with an assuring smile.

"See, I know that you won't tell no matter how many times I ask but just in case, know that if you need something, I'm here… Gaisen is there…" He said and looked at me for a slight moment before adding, "We got your back."

"Seems like you can be quite considerate sometimes." It felt good to know that there are people who you can lean on if something goes wrong.

The seriousness on his face faded away, and a smug formed and he wiggled his eyebrows at me, "Anyways… I hope you get rejected again. You can't get a girlfriend before me. Loser!"

"I take my statement back." I sighed, and he laughed, looking at my dumbfounded expression.