Chapter 122 - When She Loses Herself

"Well… you know she wasn't always like this." She stared off into the distance.

"Yeah… I remember Ryuhan Senpai mentioning that." I said, and her hazel eyes shifted towards me and didn't say anything. I continued, "So… she isn't as cold as she looks?"

She again nodded, and with a playful chuckle she said, "No, she likes cute things… like you know she enjoys playing with cats."

"Really?" I was actually taken aback because I enjoy playing with cats too. Though I don't have one at home, that's a different scenario.

"Yeah… she doesn't look that kind of a person, but she is." She laughed.

Not knowing the correct words, I gave it a thought for some time before uttering them hesitantly, "That's kinda… I don't know… wholesome?"

"Yes!" She instantly replied with a joyful expression. It looked like she really liked that side of Naoto as whenever she becomes of the present, a sadness spreads across her face.

Our walk came to a stop near the playground as she didn't enter it, but rather stood near the opening that separates the basketball court and the playground.

Looking at me with downcast eyes, she said, "But then… I don't know what happened… even last year everything was fine… " With a plain voice, as dry as a summer day, she added, "...it's just that this year… suddenly she started being like that." 

"At the start of this year?" I asked, as those words seemed really out of the ordinary.

If I remember correctly, this whole target thing also started from the start of this year, though I didn't meet with Lilith at that time, but the souls that she mentions were already roaming free by that time.

Could it be that these souls can affect an individual to this extent? Assuming from everything they said, it seems like she was completely normal but suddenly became like this.

This is clearly an abnormal occurrence. Talking with Lilith about this won't do any help because she won't tell me anything except give me vague answers that'll piss me off.

"Yes… just gradually she grew distant from everything… everyone." With a wry smile, she said.

I could never understand why people feel so strongly about their friends when they change into something they didn't use to be. We are all humans, after all, and we change every day. That's what makes us humans.

"When she's with us, it looks like she is physically present but her eyes are empty as if she is sleeping." As she said that, I remembered the time we were all in the cafeteria. Her eyes looked so empty, but she was taking part in the conversation fluently.

"She might be depressed." I pointed out the possibility that I thought about a few moments ago.

"I know that very well… but we can't help her if she doesn't open up herself." She was about to lean on the wall behind her, but I grabbed her shoulder as she looked at me in confusion.

"Dry paint." I said, as she turned around and noticed it. She smiled awkwardly at me, "Oh… thanks."

It's only during these fests that some parts of the school get refurbished. This wall was painted a few days ago, as it was a very prominent structure from the ground.

"Yeah… her presence seems very… superficial." I said with a bit of hesitation as that may offend Yuna but she joined in with me, "It's even more prominent for me since I have seen how she used to be."

"Cheerful, ambitious and graceful." Those left her mouth, but didn't carry any weight.

She looked at me and her eyes had this strange warmness in them, "You know… she was so full of ambition that it cheered the whole club up."

"That Naoto has become a lifeless person now." Reminiscing about the past, I could tell that Yuna felt bad that she couldn't help her friend.

"What happened to club members?" I decided to ask about the condition of the club since it seemed rather horrible.

"They just became irregular…" She shrugged.

By the term irregular, I understood what she meant. Since the days I have visited the club, it was empty except for them and a few other members. I asked her, "Like they didn't attend it every day?"

"Yeah… because Naoto at the start was a really disciplined person, so she used to keep the club in moderation." She explained.

"Ahh, I see… and then as the members saw her become lenient, they fully used that chance?" I got a vague idea of what basically was the deal of this club. That was like basic human nature again.

No one likes to obey rules too much. They saw the opportunity; they took it. I would just say one thing, that the members are quite irresponsible.

"Yes… and you know how horrible it felt…" She clenched her fists, and she was slowly expressing her pent up frustration too. 

"Watching the club that we adored so much, becoming like this?" From her words, I could tell that there was a part of her that fully blamed Naoto for this, but there was another part that was sad about Naoto.

Looking at her in a dilemma of emotions, and me knowing how professional I'm at dealing with emotions, I said, "Senpai… I… don't know what to say."

"Naoto was my best friend… but now she has grown so far…" she said as she stared blankly in front of her. 

Turning her gaze down towards her hands, "Even though we are an arm's reach, the distance between us has increased infinitely."

"And I asked her out in this situation… I'm sorry… I seriously didn't know things were like this." Looking at this situation flowing out of my control, I decided to turn this conversation subtly towards me. 

I knew I was a terrible person, but I have to do what I have to in order to keep my head. Morals, emotions didn't mean shit to me considering my circumstances.

She laughed and said, "No, don't worry… you're not the only one who has asked her out."

"I… guessed that." I nodded as I already knew much about her thanks to my very useful asset, Kizhashi.