Chapter 177 - Stained Childhood Of A Devil

Lilith's POV (Sakamaki's Narration)

***Graphic Scenes, Reader's Discretion Advised***

This entire chapter is from Lilith's perspective, but it's being narrated by Sakamaki.

She was quite scared, as she wasn't looking at me, rather her eyes locked on the ground and her grip on her teddy bear was tightening, as she said in a hesitant tone, "I… I just want to play with Lilith."

I was somehow inside her mind, and reliving her life. By the way the other girl looked, and Lilith sounded herself, I could tell that they were definitely kids. I was spectating Lilith's childhood.

I got down from the swing and looked towards the girl, who was nervously expecting my answer. I caught a glimpse of Lilith's silver white hairs move as she walked towards her and said, "What do you want to play?"

Suddenly, everything around me seemed to enter a state of fast-forward as distinct memories of Lilith were flashing in front of my eyes. From playing with that girl while giggling to getting scared together while watching something spooky, everything was playing in front of me, like a movie.

Then there came moments when it felt like the other girl was getting bullied by a bunch of other boys and girls who would stop as soon as Lilith would appear. These moments led to other glimpses where Lilith would find that girl crying all alone, and she would comfort her.

It seemed like they were quite good friends, but other children would bully the girl for something like a difference in their status. The school that Lilith attended was mostly filled with high-class people, but that girl came from a poor family.

Scenes would change into small glimpses of fights that Lilith would pick with others to stand up for the other girl, but slowly, everyone started hating the other girl for influencing Lilith. As a commoner like her had no rights to be friends with a royalty like Lilith.

Suddenly, everything again went dark as I found myself in a place with dim lights. The tubelight on the ceiling was flickering as I was. It seemed like I was inside what seemed like a washroom.

I was walking hesitantly while sobbing towards a bathroom stall. As I reached closer, I could see the teddy bear that the other girl I saw a few moments ago was holding, but it appeared to be wet.

I slowly reached for the teddy bear, and there was a lot of contemplation going on inside her mind as she barely touched it and instantly retracted her hand back towards her chest. My eyes glanced towards the door in front of me as I peeked through the gap between the door and the frame and what was inside made me throw up.

The entire washroom was silent until a few moments ago, but at that moment, Lilith's sobbing changed into screams filled with rage, contempt, and remorse. I couldn't help but feel the chills in my spine as she was screaming at her heart's content.

Lilith fell on her knees and crawled back slowly as tears rolled down her cheeks, and she couldn't scream anymore because her throat hurt and she was coughing up blood by that point.

When she peeked inside the stall, what I saw was indeed horrific. A widely opened eye was staring back at her and it was none other than the girl whom the teddy bear belonged to. Her head twisted weirdly as her hairs were lying around her, and blood was dripping from her head.

The scene flashed for such a short amount of time, but it felt like I was reliving her memories as well, since I could feel everything she was feeling, which included the pain she was feeling mentally and physically.

After crying for some time, she finally gathered the courage to approach the girl's body. She stood up; her legs still shaking, and her vision still blurry from the tears. With small but steady steps, she walked up to the stall and opened the door.

The entire scene was rather horrifying, as it even made me feel sick to my stomach. Never have I ever witnessed something like that. Lilith again threw up in the stall's corner and tears, which stopped a few moments, started flooding through.

The body of the girl was sitting on the toilet seat with her neck twisted the other and her eyes wide open as if someone recorded her last expression before dying. Without looking at the body, Lilith looked around for anything and found a mop lying next to her.

The handle of the wooden mop was smeared in red, as I could tell what happened from that. Looking at the pool of blood beneath that girl, I could imagine everything that happened with her as clear as day. 

The first time in my life, I felt sick to my stomach.

Lilith didn't pay any attention to it. In the corner of her eyes, she caught a piece of paper lying below her hands. Seems like it fell from her hand as her life was slowly fading away from her.

Lilith, with her shaking hands, picked up the paper, which was soaked in water and blood, and opened it as it appeared to be a note left by her..

"If you're reading this, I'm probably dead by now. I just wanted you to know that I never once blamed you for anything. You have always been my best friend, a friend I could never have been worthy of. I apologise to you for any problems that I caused you, and I hope you'll forgive me for breaking our promise and leaving early. I love you, but I was never meant to be your friend. I was never worthy of your friendship. Still, I enjoyed every moment with you and you'll always be my one and only friend. Love, Nafel."

So her name was Nafel.

As she finished reading the letter, there was nothing but utmost silence in the stall. I looked above at the ceiling, and clenched the letter in fist as tears slowly rolled down my cheeks and I fell down as my legs gave in.

This was a memory from Lilith's childhood and since I could feel everything she was feeling in that moment, I was surprised to realise that despite being a devil; she was as empathetic as a human.