98 Hands

Ryder immediately pouted, "what's that supposed to mean?" 

"What do you think it means?" Regan asked playfully.

"That you don't care about me. Also, it's the same thing you said about Vixen, be creative," Ryder scolded

"Well I've only known you for like 10 minutes now, of course, I don't care about you, but if you say be creative, it doesn't change because I don't care. I don't mind it at all," Regan shrugged.

"Don't mind it at all?" Ryder cocked his head in confusion, "is it not surprising? Disgusting? Annoying? Curious? Why do you have no reaction at all?"

"Hmm let's see…" Regan muttered, looking away from Ryder to try to piece her thoughts into words. She turned back to him when she got it, "I've lost the ability to feel surprised, I've met something more disgusting than you could ever be and annoying? I also know something three times as annoying as you could ever be. Curiosity? Do I deserve it??"

Ryder cocked his head in confusion.

"I ask myself this question whenever I feel the need to know more. Do I deserve it? Do I deserve to know about this person if so is it enough to ask about their past?" Regan explained, "right now I only have enough knowledge about you to only know about your hobbies and such. Things like a disorder or past are things some people would rather keep to themselves but there are some people that deserve to know that. I am not one of them. I've only known you for an hour total and you for like 10 minutes. Who am I to ask about something so personal?"

An 'ah' of understanding slipped out of Ryder's mouth. He understood but didn't like it. "What if I want you to know?"

Regan wasn't surprised at his question. She had predicted it. "Same goes for that," She nodded, "even if you tell me that you want me to know, if I decide that I do not deserve to know then I will not want to listen and will be uncomfortable carrying that new knowledge on me if you tell me."

Ryder gave out a dissatisfied sigh, "that's quite a strict way to live."

"It's my way to live. If I step out of that circle, waves hit me at once and I get drowned. I'll rather be guarded than drown again," Regan smiled desolately. 

She hadn't thought this way before, but now it became something that she tried to keep close to her heart. After Vixen stormed off she had been thinking about a lot of things and it all came down to the simple phrase, 'do I deserve it?' Vixen was in charge of her meaning they should have had a basic understanding of each other like favorite food, job, hobbies e.t.c. None of that was made. After missing that crucial part of their encounter, the issue was bound to come up, especially since Regan had a more widely known job. In her defense, it was a matter of 'does he deserve it?' He never met that condition. 

"Why're you looking at me like a lost puppy? Is this still Ryder?" Regan jokingly asked.

Ryder frowned, holding Regan's other hand. He pulled her forward and locked eyes with her. "Same eyes isn't it? It's still me. Ryder."

Regan grinned, "of course it is. I recognize those eyes."

Ryder stared for a moment before looking away and slowly sitting back down. "Just so you know, I'll wait."

"Hmm?" Regan tilted her head in confusion.

"I'm guessing you think you don't deserve to know anything about me right now and if I say different, it probably won't change anything so I'll wait till you think you do," Ryder muttered. 

Regan simply blinked and then gave another bright smile, "thanks, but what happened to flirty Ryder? You matured in a matter of seconds, it's a bit scary."

Ryder's eyebrow raised curiously and he smirked, "You like the flirty kind I see~ how would you like me to be, love?"

"Aish! Go back to mature Ryder," Regan faked a disgusted expression. They both burst into laughter.

Ryder stopped laughing and watched Regan laugh. A small smile laid on his lips. "It's been a while since I laughed with someone," he muttered, "it's nice."

He placed his head on the table and slipped his hand into Regan's. Then his eyes slowly closed and he drifted off to sleep. 

Regan looked down at their hands intertwined in each other and bit back the urge to frown. It was too close. They had gotten too close in just one meeting, she didn't like it. She looked at him lying so peaceful and weighed her options. Leave him be or wake him up.

"Ryder?" Regan called out, tapping his head. There was no reply. 

His grip on her hand tightened. Regan flinched, waking him up it was.

"RYDER!!!" Regan called out shaking him violently. He stirred a bit but didn't wake up. His hand remained in hers and Regan's skin where their hands touched grew hot. "RYDER!! WAKE UP NOW!!" 

Finally, he moved and groaned. Slowly he sat up and tried to rub his eye, pulling Regan closer and using her hand instead. 

He flinched, the scent was different. He opened his eyes and jumped when he saw an unfamiliar hand in his. He looked up and spotted Regan, immediately yelping.

"What in the world!!" he shrieked.

A smile grew on Regan's face as his revival. "Ryd-" she began and then locked eyes with him. 'Ah…' she thought to herself. "Antonin."

"Yes?" Antonin replied, still visibly shaken by the fact that he was holding Regan's hand. "What happen-"

Regan let a sigh and she looked away, "if you're done sleeping, let go of my hand now, please. You fell asleep and started holding my hand in your sleep." 

"Ah!" Antonin blushed, immediately retracting his hand.

"Haha," Regan chuckled, amused at his reaction. "You weren't this shy when you were holding my hand, you know?"

"Ah..ah. AHAHAH," Antonin ruffled his hair, his face completely flushed. He stopped for a moment when he touched his hand but then continued touching it, a little hesitantly than before.

"Did you like using my hand? I couldn't even finish eating my food because you insisted on holding my hand," Regan huffed playfully. 

Antonin immediately bowed his head, pressing it into the table, "I deeply apologize for overstepping my boundaries, please don't hate me."

Regan burst into laughter, clutching her stomach as she laughed, "Don't hate you? Why ask that? All you did was hold my hand, you didn't do anything more so don't worry."

Antonin looked up at Regan, his face scrunched up like he was about to cry from happiness and then banged his head into the table, scratching his head wildly. "AISHHHH!!" He yelled, scratching his hair wildly. He knew what he did.

Quickly, he searched through the pocket of his pants and pulled out a hair tie, then quickly tied his hair in a low ponytail. Strands of hair fell down on his face but he didn't care, his mind was worried about something else. 

Slowly, his eyes searched Regan's looking for a hint of annoyance in her eyes and cocked his head when he spotted none. 

Regan gave another smile, "Why're you staring at me? Don't tell me you fell for me?" 

"Heh?" Antonin muttered, a blush growing on his chocolatey cheeks rapidly, "ah! NONONO!! I-I Don't"

Regan cocked her head, "that was a bit hesitant don't you think?"

Antonin's blush increased, "why do you like teasing me so much?" he groaned.

"Because I live for your reactions," Regan chuckled, "they're adorable."

Antonin pouted, "I am NOT adorable."

"Hmm ok, you owe me though," Regan shrugged. 

"I owe you? What for?"

"For borrowing my hand and making my food get cold," Regan huffed.

Antonin hid his face, his face growing hotter by the second. "Is there a way I can repay you?" he asked.

"Hm, I'll think of it later. Be ready to do anything," Regan grinned. 

"Should I be worried?" Antonin peeked through his fingers at Regan. 

"We'll see about that," Regan chuckled, "make sure you are ready to accept any punishment though."

Antonin glared at Regan, the need to be angry came to him but he couldn't do it to her for some reason. A smile formed on his lips, "you must really enjoy teasing me huh?"

"Whatever I can do for entertainment in this hell, I will do," Regan grinned mischievously. She glanced at the clock on the wall and then turned back to Antonin, "Don't you think it's time to go? It's almost 10:30."

"Ah…" Antonin muttered, following Regan's gaze. "I guess it is."

Regan smirked, "is that hesitancy in your voice? Were you looking forward to spending some time in my room? Sleeping over even?"

Antonin immediately stood up, "No! None of that, I'll be taking my leave now."

"Haha, ok then," Regan chuckled. 

Antonin hurriedly cleaned up the table for Regan, picking up her food quickly and placing it on the cart. He turned around and gave her a brief bow. "Thank you for having me, sorry again for sleeping off."

"It's okie," Regan yawned, standing up from her seat on the ground and trudging to her bed, "we all make mistakes."

Antonin gave a nod of agreement, "I'll be leaving now," he announced.

"Hmhm," Regan nodded, throwing herself into her bed. 

Antonin turned around and started pushing the cart out of the room. He stopped for a moment and turned back to Regan, "one more thing," he called out.

"Huh?" Regan mumbled as she tucked in under her sheets, already half-asleep.

Antonin shook his head and smiled, "nothing. Good night Miss. Regan."

Regan simply nodded and listened to the light steps of Antonin and the clattering of his cart as they left the room and shut the door. 'That was different too,' she thought to herself. Her eyelids grew heavy and she slipped off to sleep.