Chapter 385: Blame it on me (2)

"Onoda-kun, can we stop?"

Because of my silence when I also began deliberating whether to approach her again and continue, Arisa-senpai's trembling voice entered my ears. She also slightly raised her head to peek at my reaction.

Instead of answering her, I stood up and approached her but as I expected, at every step I made, Arisa-senpai would also take a step back.

"No. Don't come near me. You're aware of it, Onoda-kun. If we… get close to each other again… we will…"

Arisa-senpai bit her lips after saying that in a pleading tone.

Even if she failed to complete her sentence it's easy to guess what she meant since that was also what's on my mind.

"I know, I won't be able to stop if I end up holding onto you again. But senpai, can you at least listen to me? I'll stay standing here."

"Really?"

With her voice filled with doubt, Arisa-senpai slowly lifted her head to look at me.

Seeing her still flushed face and her lips that were still slightly swollen from how intense our kiss had been, despite what I said, I suddenly had the urge to close our distance and take her in my arms again.

To stop that urge, I turned my back to her before answering. "Is this enough, senpai? I'll stay like this. You only need to listen. After this… I will leave this room or you can choose to go first."

At first, she was silent. Since I couldn't see her, I used my ear to sense what's happening behind me.

There was no sound. Like me, Arisa-senpai continued standing in her place. However, the sensation of someone staring at my back could clearly be felt.

A few seconds later, Arisa-senpai's voice entered my ears.

"… Go on."

"What happened in this room… Arisa-senpai can blame it on me. I forced you into this situation so… You don't need to feel guilty. Blame it all on me. After we leave this room, if Arisa-senpai wanted to forget what happened then you can do so."

"Huh? Why… It's not…"

Because she ignored it earlier, only now did she finally comprehend what I was saying about blaming this situation on me.

But before she could say that this was also her fault, I stopped her with my words again.

"Senpai. I'm the shameless, hateful and perverted guy. That's what Izumi-senpai and your perception of me is. So it's only right to--"

"We're both to blame. Stop that, Onoda-kun."

"I know we are but senpai. After you leave this room, will you be able to look Nami in the eye or will you be lost on how to act around her?"

"I… I will confess to her. That this happened between us."

As I thought. Even if we stopped, Arisa-senpai would still be bugged by her conscience.

"After confessing to her, what will happen then? Won't you be even more awkward when it comes to interacting with her?"

Of course, I was a bit disappointed that we stopped. However, to continue interacting with her, I should clear her mind before letting her leave this room.

To let her leave what happened between us here.

Letting her understand that I was different from that ex-boyfriend of hers shouldn't be put on the table for now.

After being that passionate with me, she's currently ridden with guilt. There's no space for letting her understand that… I love her and Nami wouldn't mind it even if she became my girl.

"I don't know. Onoda-kun, did I ruin our friendship?"

"No. Like I told you, what happened between us wasn't your fault. You see, I'm attracted to you. So I pulled you into this room and… took advantage of your weakness."

That's the best explanation of the event for her to be rid of guilt. But that begs the question of whether she would accept it or not.

"Onoda-kun. I'm attracted to you. We ended up in that situation because we both wanted it… Why go to the extent of taking all the blame? Do you want me to just accept that and hate you instead?"

"Not really, I still wanted to be your cheeky junior, Arisa-senpai. Your cheeky junior closest to you. But I guess to not repeat this mistake, you really need to hate me. Unless… you come to understand what I truly am."

I paused for a while because while I was saying that, Arisa-senpai closed the distance between us and slipped her arms from my side, hugging me from behind.

Right. It's not only me who couldn’t control oneself. Our attraction to each other was at the same level…

As I tried to resist the urge to turn around and hug her back, I continued on with my words.

"Senpai, next Monday… I will use the time for the Mentor Program to tell you my story. I won't seek for you to understand my true nature. I will only ask for you to listen to why I boldly confessed my interest to you despite being still in love with Nami."

"… You're hard to understand, Onoda-kun. You're like him but at the same time, you're not like him. No, you're different. His glib tongue always spewed out words that can manipulate someone. Yours is different. It's crazy but it's filled with honesty and sincerity… Is it really fine for me to stand before Nanami without feeling any guilt? If I listen to your story, will it really explain why you're doing this? I should've been disappointed, hurt and started hating you when you told me that despite liking me, you still love Nami but why could I only be disappointed? Being hurt and hating you… It didn't pass my mind."

Instead of responding to what I said, Arisa-senpai began saying what's in her mind.

And upon hearing it, I judged that it was all her true thoughts.

Normally, if I tell what I told her to someone else, I would surely be slapped or punched on my face but Arisa-senpai only looked disappointed at that time.

There were those instances. For example, when I told Yukari that I also want her despite her knowing that Elizabeth was already mine. Even if she was easily coerced back then, Yukari slapped my face and told me to get serious with an angry face.

But Arisa-senpai's reaction was different. She should've stopped associating with me but for the past few days after that, apart from finding it hard to interact with me, she's still the same playful girl.

"I can't guarantee that you will understand why… But senpai, what I told you about me being not normal, it's all true. I'm far from your definition of a normal guy…"

Before letting her know about my multiple relationships, she ought to know what I did in my past and what I was doing in the present.

That's for her to easily understand why…

Well, the result would still depend on how she would react upon hearing about it…

"Alright. This Monday. Let me hear everything. And for today, I'll let you take the blame if that's what you want. But Onoda-kun, we both wanted this, right?"

"Un. We did want this. Being this close and being that intimate. But for now, let me take that blame. Leave this room with a clear head, alright?"

After I said that, Arisa-senpai removed her arm from hugging me as her presence gradually moved away from me.

When I heard the door open and close, only then did I turn around to check if she really left the room.

I had no idea if this 'taking the blame' would work but for the sake of that girl's sanity, it has to.

We managed to stop. However, with this… we became both aware of our attraction to each other. It's not a simple attraction that I always feel with my girls… It was surprisingly filled with our lust for each other.

If she foregone the idea of betraying Nami earlier, we would probably have sex here. In this room. Forgetting about everything else.