Chapter of Grim Reality: For Our Future Goals

“Now, let’s once more go over your part. Or rather, what do you remember of what I had told you was your job, Yumi?”

“Nn, you mean, with the banner and the armour?”

“Yes.”

“To… inspire morale.”

“Mhm. That’s right.”

Korwen nodded in satisfaction at my answer.

“Between two equal forces, if one has high morale and the other one low morale, the force with high morale will win. Overwhelmingly, even.”

“Is it… that much of a difference?”

“Yes. Morale can be a truly scary thing. In actual combat there are many factors deciding the outcome, of course, but morale is without a doubt one of the important ones.”

Morale being important was something I could understand easily. It was a bit surprising to hear, however, that he placed it as such a high priority.

“And having a cute flower to protect in the back is a surefire way to keep the morale up.”

“... I see.”

Being praised was always nice but the way he was bluntly using me still irked me. Even if I had already accepted this. More or less, at least. Or, maybe it was just embarrassing...

“So, how did your practice with Ria go?”

“Nn, I guess you could say it was a success?”

“A success, huh. Count me surprised.”

“... That’s an awful lot of trust in me.”

“Give me reason to have it and you’ll get more trust.”

Uhh… Hard to argue against that…

“Well, no matter. That’s something that comes with time. Only the heroes in the bard’s stories could be perfect the first time they pick up a sword. If you ask me, your progress is… kind of average?”

“...”

How comforting he was…

“But I’ve told you already more than enough about this. The rest is up to you.”

“Up to me…”

“Yes, to you. Especially about this.”

“Nn?”

About this?

“The job carrying that banner. Being a standard bearer. Also about the use of your magic. Those are things you will have to figure out yourself and none of us can help you with that. We can give you our thoughts and ideas but everything past that is on you.”

“I see…”

So, I was on my own with those?

“Think of words to say that will encourage them. That’s not something I or anyone else here can teach you.”

“Nn, even though you delivered a speech just earlier…”

“That? That barely qualifies as a speech! It’s just a bit of encouragement from their captain. Though, now that you say it, I guess they’re not too different. Well, if it helps you a little, you can just borrow my words if need be.”

“Nn…”

His words, huh…

“Hey, Dragon Captain.”

“What is it, Wormaz?”

“That might be just my opinion, you know, but the important point isn't the words you say but the way you say them, isn’t it? At least, that’s how my old mum did it. Always looking imposing and never retreating. Damn sure made you admire her. And when she said something, it sure stuck with you. Even if it was utter nonsense.”

“You mean, to show confidence?”

“Yeah, that. Exactly that.”

“Mmm…”

Korwen threw a questioning glance at me as he pondered Wormaz’ words. The intense stare felt a little uncomfortable, to be honest.

Some seconds later, he shook his head.

“Confidence, mh. Maybe that’s it. I’ll consider that for the future but not today. Too little time. Speaking of time...”

He directed his eyes towards the busy centre of the camp.

“Where in the blazes is that damn Wanda? I told her to come here quite a while ago.”

Oh, right, we were waiting for Wanda.

“Dragon Captain. Might not be the best but I got the banner right here. We could have her take a look at that already.”

“Mhm, well, it’s better than nothing.”

“Gotcha. One moment.”

Wormaz returned to his wagon’s side and pulled something from the undercarriage. A long… banner. Yeah, that seemed to be the one he handed me before. Probably. There were a few differences compared to before. For one, the entire thing was painted in black… And there was a piece of cloth wrapped around the tip.

“Now then, I made a few adjustments for that girlie there. First of all…”

He slammed the end into the ground where it was now stuck.

“Gave it an overhaul on the looks. Gotta look the part, right? Also, girl, come here.”

“Nn?”

I walked over to him as he asked me to.

“Now, grab here.”

“There? Nn? That’s… a grip?”

A patch of leather was wrapped around the shaft, right at a pretty comfortable height.

“Yeah, looks good. Comfortable?”

“Nn. It’s right at the height where I’d grip it.”

“Good. Next, try lifting it.”

“Eh?”

Last time I couldn’t even get it out of the ground after he slammed it into the ground… Well, he asked me to so I’d try anyway.

“Nn… Nngh!”

Using both hands, I grabbed the shaft and pulled it up with all my strength.

“Nn! Ah! Woah! Waahhh!”

Much to my surprise, I actually pulled it out of the ground, only to be swung around by it’s rather topheavy weight.

“Ahhh… Steady… Steady… Haa…”

“Well, you got it out so I consider that a success. Still, do you have water in your arms? You have to train a little more, you know?”

“I… I will…”

Unfortunately, arm strength wasn’t built up in a few days or weeks. It took time. And of course it also would need me to actually do some exercises. Merim kept most of our training towards stamina currently, though. Because Rina and I were so lacking in that department that any regular training would just exhaust us too much.

“Hoo… Wormaz, what did you do with that banner that she could get it out?”

“Nothing much, honestly. Just reduced some unnecessary weight. There were a bunch of useless decorations that were actually quite heavy. We can put those back some other time but I thought with that girl’s strength, they’re just a bother for now.”

“That was a good call… But that can’t be all.”

“Yeah, it wasn’t. Asked around a little in my freetime and that idiot Wendl gave me some weird stuff. Told me to smear it to the end of the shaft.”

The end of the Shaft?

I looked down to check what he meant. There was a lot of dirt obscuring the view but something was shimmering through it… Something like a thick glaze or varnish.

“Hoo… May I take a look?”

“Go ahead.”

Korwen crouched down and scrutinised the end of the shaft, patting away the dirt and touching the varnish.

“Mhm… It’s pretty smooth. But… Is this also something temporary or…”

“If I want to get rid of it I’d have to scrape it off but it can be done. When that girl can manage on her own we can do that just fine.”

“Nn, but isn’t it better like this?”

If it was easier to get out of the ground, why would you remove it again?

“Mhm, it’s better if you are moving around a lot, I’d say,” said Wormaz.

“Nn? Then, it’s not if you aren’t?”

“It’s less firm in the ground. You don’t want it to get knocked over, do you? Weather isn’t always as pleasant as today. When you got a fucking storm brewing over your little head, you’ll thank me a few times over that it stays in the ground.”

“Ahhh…”

But, even if i was firm in the ground… Fairly sure a storm would knock it over either way…

“I’d rather not fight a battle in the middle of a storm…”

“Dragon Captain, you can’t always choose the time, can you?”

“You can’t, as unfortunate as it is. There are occasions when you can take advantage of it but most of the time it’s just a bother. At least, it’s a bother for both sides.”

Korwen furrowed his brows in annoyance. He probably had to fight in a storm before, huh… Can’t imagine that as being even remotely pleasant.

“Yumi. Mr Captain. I think Wanda is coming.”

“Nn?”

“What? She’s finally here?”

We both turned to Karen and followed her gaze in response to those words. Right there, Wanda was appearing in the busy mercenary crowd, carrying a basket. Following her were a few other women, including Helma, Elina and even Mrs Korwen. Also a few of the older women I knew from the cooking duty.

In short, a whole group of women was making their way over to us.

“That’s quite a crowd she got there…”

“Nn…”

Korwen didn’t seem to know why she got that many following her either. We’d probably know soon enough but… it still made you wonder about it.

“Korwen, we brought what you requested.”

“Last I checked I only told you to bring the stuff for Yumi and Karen over. When did I order a whole swarm of you to come here?”

“That’s rude, you old coot. You should be thankful to them. They’re helping me out.”

“... That so?”

“Yes, that’s so. In the first place, the stuff for the little kid is one thing but how do you expect me to magically fashion the other stuff? If you had told me, like, a week ago, I could’ve comfortably worked through all your requests. No way can I do all that in a single day. Or rather, a single evening no less. So, be thankful that they offered to help out.”

The heck did Korwen request from her… When I saw her earlier she was still in a pretty good mood but that was definitely in the past now. Nothing left of a good mood…

“Anyway, let’s get this over with quickly. Hey, kid, get over here.”

“Eh?”

Suddenly, she was addressing me. Since I didn’t want to get scolded as well, I obediently walked up to her.

“... Wanda?”

“Mmm… Well, guess it’ll do for now.”

What will do for now?

Somehow I had a bad feeling.

“Okay. Follow me. Hey, Wormaz! We’ll borrow your wagon for a moment.”

“Go ahead. Just don’t fucking touch anything.”

And so, we entered the wagon with Wormaz’ permission. It was full of tools, a large workbench, an anvil and a furnace and a bunch of other tools I didn’t know. But despite all those tools and work utensils, there was quite a bit of space inside.

“Mhm. Good. Now, change into this, kid.”

“This is… the armour?”

The black armour that she had stripped me of earlier. It didn’t really look any different compared to before, did it?

“Nn… Uhm…”

“What?”

“... No, nothing.”

I really wanted to change in peace but… I had the feeling I’d regret saying that now. Bracing myself, I changed out of my clothes and donned the armour, except for the breastplate.

“Nn… It… doesn’t really feel any different?”

“I’d be surprised if it did. I didn’t exactly get much work done on it yet. But let’s see…”

Wanda crouched down so she could inspect the armour from close-up, tugging at it here and there.

“I only fixed up a few parts that I could in that short time but it seems to be fine. Also, that.”

“Hiya?!”

“Oh my, what a cute shriek.”

“Wanda…”

She completely caught me by surprise when she poked my sides. Why the heck… Wait, there was something sewn on there.

“What’s that?”

“You can attach a bag here. It’s bothersome to carry bags on a sling, right? I’d have preferred to get a leather belt for that attached but we’re a bit in a hurry.”

“Nn… I see.”

Wanda produced a small bag from somewhere and promptly attached it to the armour.

“There, all good.”

“Huh…”

That was… quite convenient.

“Good. You can wear that breastplate now. Check if you can move freely once you’re done.”

“Nn, okay.”

I picked up the breastplate and put it on. Then, I moved around a little, stretched in various directions to see if there were any problems.

“Nn, I think it’s fine.”

“...”

“Wanda?”

“Hey, kid.”

“Yes?”

For some reason, Wanda was now staring at me really hard. Did I… do something wrong?

“Hold up your arm in front of you for a bit.”

“Nn? Like this?”

“Yeah. And now move it up.”

“Nn?”

“And now to the back.”

“Nn? Wanda?”

I had absolutely no clue what was going on here…

“Okay... Now, grab your arm with your free one behind your back.”

“Eh? Like this?”

“Yes. Bend forward a little and stretch your arms upward.”

“Nn”

This seemed more like a stretching exercise suddenly. This was actually pretty hard to do because the armour was, frankly said, in the way.

“Kid.”

“Yes?”

“You can relax again.”

“Haa… What was that about?”

“...”

Wanda was lost in thought and not responding… Great.

“Can you lift your leg? Like, grab it and stretch it up as much as you can.”

“... Okay?”

Did she mean like this? Standing on one leg and holding the other one stretched out and up in the air, so that my foot was at the same height as my head?

Woah, this was a little hard to balance.

“Is this okay?”

“... Oh, you’re wearing underwear.”

“Of course I am!”

Seriously, because I was lifting my leg up, the armour skirt got lifted as well and exposing me… I’d have to remember to be careful about this in the future...

But was she only doing this so that she could check on my underwear? No, wait… She knew about me going… without them?

“... How did you know?”

“I’ve got my ways.  But glad to see I was right about it.”

“...”

Did she just trick me? No... I just walked into that on my own…

“Anyway, you can put it down again and relax.”

“Ha… So, why did you have me do that? Hopefully not so that you could check my underwear…”

“That was part of the reason.”

“...”

Great…

“But the main reason was… I’ve seen a lot of limber people but you certainly beat them all. That’s some impressive range of movement you got there.”

“Haa…”

Courtesy to being squishy.

“Have you had any kind of acrobatic training before?”

“No, I didn’t…”

“Huh… So you’re naturally limber like that? Mhm… But it’s good I learnt that now.”

“Nn? Why?”

“Most armour and clothing is designed in a way that allows the standard range of movements. I bet that Korwen plans to eventually make use of that limber body of yours so I should make any future clothing with that in mind. You probably noticed the armour tugging at you towards the end, right?”

“Nn, I did.”

So the armour wasn’t designed for that type of stretching? Good to know.

“Also… Just going to ask, but can your entire body bend like that?”

“Bend like that? Nn, I’m not quite sure what you mean like now…”

“I mean… No, let me just try it.”

“Huh?”

Suddenly, Wanda’s imposing form was standing in front of me, a mischievous grin adorning her lips.

“Wait, Wan— Wah!”

“Now, let’s see how much you can do.”

“Wanda? Why are you holding my arm like that? No, wait, Wanda!”

“Ohh!”

“Wanda, stop! Please! People aren’t supposed to bend like this!”

“That’s right, they aren’t!”

“Then stop bending me! Ahh!” 

Alas, my pleas only met deaf ears and she stretched and bent me in every possible direction. My legs, my arms, even my back wasn’t spared. The breastplate I had put on just a little earlier was taken off again, so that she could quite literally bend my back.

It took a good amount of time before she finally let me go, leaving me more than just a little exhausted. Mostly mentally.

“Mhm… This is a problem… I doubt I can design something that can allow all that stretching.”

Much to my surprise, Wanda didn’t ask at all about my body. Okay, she already knew quite a bit but nonetheless, not a single question came up.

“I will have to discuss with Elina if she has a solution for that. Mhm… Ah, right, we’re done now, kid. You can go and take a rest.”

“Thank you… very much…”

Too tired to argue, I grabbed the breastplate and opened the door of the wagon, returning to the outside world.

Only to find Karen, Korwen, Wormaz and the other women staring at me.

“Uhm…”

“Yumi, is everything okay?”

“Eh? Well, more or less.”

Karen looked at me with worry in her eyes. Maybe having sensed my confusion, Korwen moved in to explain.

“We heard a little bit of your… struggle.”

“...”

“Glad to see you’re still alive.”

Seriously… They heard that?

“You could’ve helped me…”

“I’d rather not get into Wanda’s way right now. Although, your sister was close to storming the wagon by herself.”

Too bad she didn’t…

“Well, no matter what happened there, glad to see you’re still in one piece. Looking good there.”

“Nn, thank you…”

A bit of a forced topic change but… I appreciated it too so that was fine.

“Now, sorry for immediately bothering you again, but could you hold the banner?”

“Nn, one moment.”

With a sigh, I quickly put on the breastplate on again and then picked up the banner where I had left it.

“Ah, wait one second.”

“Nn?”

“We should unfurl it first.”

“Ah, right.”

The actual banner was still wrapped around the shaft, after all. Korwen moved up to it and quickly helped out while I was holding the banner.

“And there we go. Now, hold it up.”

“Nn.”

I did as told and held up the banner. From my position, I unfortunately couldn’t really see it.

“Mhm, okay, hold it with stretched out arms.”

“Like this?”

“Yes, perfect. Now, shift it a little forwards. Yes, good, good. And keep your legs spread at shoulder-width.”

… Was I posing for everyone today?

“Mhm, that’s good. You’re already looking the part. And that’s already half of what you have to do anyway.”

“Haa… I can’t really see it from my position…”

“Can’t really change that you know?”

We’d need a pretty big mirror for that, didn’t we? Now I really wanted to see it, though. Too bad that there were no photos in this world. Wait, that annoying witch could take photos, couldn’t she? Where in the blazes was she anyway? Maybe I should ask her next time… No, owing a favor to that monster was probably a bad idea but… Decisions… I really wanted to see...

“Mm, okay that’s good enough for now. Then, the next one is Karen.”

“Huh? Me?”

“Yes, you.”

Wait, Karen was getting something too? Speaking of which… He did mention stuff for Karen as well when Wanda came…

“But… I already have armour and all, don’t I?”

“Sure. A random assortment of things we cobbled together. At least we had things in your size, as opposed to Yumi. But that’s it, a random assortment. And… You’ll have to look the part as well if you want to stand next to your little sister.””

“... Huh?”

“Nn?”

Next to me? Speaking of which… We often talked about me and my place among the mercenaries but… did we ever talk about Karen’s?

“Mr Captain, what do you mean?”

“Well, let me ask you like this: What do you think your job is going to be tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow? Uhm…”

Karen was at a loss for words and unable to answer him.

“Seriously, these sisters… You’re both high maintenance in your own ways. You’re not much better than Yumi in this regard.”

Korwen sighed as he threw an exasperated look at us.

“You’re both obedient but you really lack initiative. Both of you. Not like I can’t relate to that but…”

Lacking initiative?

“Right, since we’re already at it, let me ask you this: You two, what are your goals? And I mean, outside of keeping yourselves and those close to you safe and happy. Something more concrete, something tangible.”

“Our… goals?”

“Yes.”

“Nn… Well… I want to know more… about myself… I guess?”

I got scolded and taught by him quite a bit in the past already and thought about it in response. I had told Karen about it as well. But… we never talked about her goals, did we?

“Mhm, that’s a reasonable goal, I guess. Then, have you thought about how you can achieve it?”

“Huh?”

“Let’s see, there might be books around or people who can tell you something. You’d have to seek out those. And books might also be expensive to get a hold of. People too, depending on their… nature. So, you’ll have to work to get money. We’ve been staying at the capital for a while but on our travels, you can spend your free time towards that goal.”

Well, he wasn’t wrong with that… Honestly, I had a little doubt about someone knowing something considering how… oddly weird I was. But the Elder knew about me. So, it was probably not unreasonable to believe that there were more out there. I just had to look for them. With that said, we did go to the Academy as well.

“Nn, but that doesn’t really have to do with taking initiative, does it?”

“Oh it does. If you work for something, it’s only natural to grow more proactive in other areas too. I’m not telling you to make being a mercenary your goal and only live for this kind of life. You might not have noticed, but you are changing, little by little.”

“Huh?”

“I am fairly sure a few weeks ago you wouldn’t have been bold enough to blow up some trolls. That was a good call that I can only praise. Although, I might’ve liked to know in advance that you could do things like that.”

“Ahahaha…”

But… A good call… that he can only praise… Those words… They made me a bit happy.

“I guess preaching to you at every opportunity helped.”

“...”

Well, yeah… Even I wasn’t so dense that it wouldn’t get into my thick skull if he hammered it in that often. Ignoring whether I even had a skull in that sense.

“Still, it relieves me to see that it worked. That means I can now focus a little elsewhere.”

“Elsewhere?”

“Yes, like your sister over there, that has stayed silent until now. And? Have you thought about your goal?”

“My… goal…”

Karen looked a little distressed as he asked again.

“It can be anything. A childhood dream for example. Have you ever thought about getting something specific, doing something specific? I’m sure you have.”

“That’s… I don’t really know...”

She glanced towards me, as if she was looking for help. That was… very much surprising to me, considering how she was always quite… protective and active.

“Mhm, don’t ask Yumi to decide for you now. That’s something you have to do by yourself. Well, I won’t tell you to give me an answer right now but do think about it. You can take a look at others if you want. Your other sister, Rina, for example... she clearly has a goal, doesn’t she? Outside of flirting around with Lily.”

Ah, so even he noticed already about those two. But, he was right. Rina did have a goal… Although it was hard to call it a ‘good’ goal or anything like that. After all, she wanted to take revenge… But, she was quite proactive, that much was true.

“Having something to strive forward to is important, outside of keeping your family safe. Well, you’re free to discuss it with others. I’ll ask you after this is over again, got that?”

“Yes…”

“Good.”

Karen nodded weakly while she was brooding over his words.

“Nn, Captain… I do have one question…”

“What is it, Yumi?”

“Well, I know that people are usually kind of content with striving towards the safety of their family and loved ones… So, asking us for a different goal… I don’t know… It strikes me as odd.”

“Hahaha! Does it now? Well, you aren’t completely wrong. But you see, we are mercenaries.”

“Nn...”

“Keeping your family and loved ones safe is a matter of course for us. We all do. But speaking bluntly, being a mercenary is not exactly a good profession for staying safe. That’s why, having a tangible goal that you can achieve through our work is a bit more reasonable, isn’t it?”

That… was kind of true…

“Then, everyone here has such a goal?”

“Most do, of course. It can range from a lot of things. Some want money, others want to experience the world. Many of us strive for combat, lethal combat to boot. But without being bound by the incessantly grumbling higher-ups of a country. Not to mention, who knows how often some armies ever get to see combat? A lot of work is left to mercenaries. Keeping a standing army is expensive, after all. Mercenaries, in comparison, aren’t. They aren’t loyal either, though, and won’t usually take jobs that almost certainly would kill them. And lots of them are just bandits with a better name.”

Combat, huh…

“Yumi, have you ever thought about using the magic and powers you have completely unrestricted?”

“Nn? Uhh… I don’t know… Not really?”

“But, wouldn’t it be fun?”

“... Fun?”

“Yes. You can do quite a lot of things after all. I know for sure that if I could wield magic and the like, I’d want to use it like I wanted to. Too bad I got no talent so that was a dream that got crushed while I was still a brat.”

“Nn…”

Without restraint…

“Think about it. We talked about this before, but you could even create your own little fortress with that magic of yours.”

“It seems so…”

Wait, was it okay to talk about this here with everyone else listening?

“Don’t you think it would be pretty cool to make that?”

“Uhm… I guess so, yes.”

Well, it certainly was kind of cool to call a fortress your own. Couldn’t really deny that.

“Then, isn’t that all the reason you need?”

“Huh? But…”

“Take this as one of my last preachings: If you think you’d enjoy it, that’s a good enough reason. I’ve got a good enough grasp on your personality by now that I can fairly sure claim that you should think about it like that. It would help us anyway so there’s little reason for me to be against it anyway.”

“But… Is that really okay… I mean, what if people find out?”

Wasn’t that the main worry of his anyway?

“People will eventually find out. I mean, we’re talking about it here in the open now anyway. I gave it a bit of thought as well over the past days. Simply said, the things you can offer us are at a level where I am willing to take a few questionable looks aimed at us. Not to mention, I got a few… ideas of my own.”

He grinned at me, showing the white of his teeth.

“You can look forward to it for sure. Anyway, to get back to it. So, if you could, would you choose to do it? Making your own little fortress.”

“Nn? Well, I guess so? It… does sound like fun.”

“Good. Then that’s decided.”

“Haa…”

Was it… okay to base this on whether it could be fun or no—

“Ouch!”

Without a word, Korwen flicked my forehead.

“Thinking too deeply that you got a wrinkle between the brows will only ruin your pretty face. Anyway, I will stop here. Wanda is already glaring at me because I’ve kept you two away.”

“Nn?”

Oh… Ohhh… That wasn’t a pleasant sight, standing there in the door of the wagon. And she was mostly looking in Karen’s direction.

“... Have fun, Sis.”

“Wait, Yumi… Don’t abandon me!”

“Nn, good luck. Hey, Captain.”

“What is it?”

“Do we have a large mirror?”

“We do. What do you need it for.”

“Nn, I want to know how I look with that banner.”

While Karen was dragged away by Wanda—Good luck, dear sister—Korwen’s eyes went wide as he heard my request. Then, he suddenly broke out in loud laughter.

“Bwahahahahaha! Now, that’s what I’m talking about! Of course we do, let’s get someone to fetch it, shall we?”

“Nn.”

I wouldn’t let him complain about this now anyway. He was the one who told me to be more selfish before. Sure, people didn’t change in a heartbeat, and I surely would get lost in thought again in the future… But, little by little… He already told me that I had changed a bit, so… It had to work, right?

Nn, but for now, I just want to see how I look like with that banner. Thinking about it, I quite enjoy dressing up, don’t I?

Much to my surprise, did I… awake to a hobby for fashion? Fairly sure I didn’t have that kind of hobby before… Probably? No, I didn’t remember enough of my past to say that for sure. Maybe I enjoyed that before as well. Men generally had their own kind of fashion, after all. Not like it really mattered in the present.

Nn, although, I also enjoy Karen dressing up and looking pretty. Speaking of which, I’m looking forward to what Wanda is doing there.

After she abducted Karen, she had also told Wormaz to get his things ready. Not that he really could, seeing how his wagon was occupied… Still… Korwen said she had to look the part…

Wait, he never told us about Karen’s job for tomorrow! We discussed completely different things!

Oh well… We could discuss that when Karen was back. For now, I waited for the poor sod that got told by Korwen to bring a mirror. And then we’d see about everything else.

Rinne

Not much to say today. Stay healthy and safe!

Thank you for reading!