Chapter 56

Chapter 56

The door opened and Logan, the doctor, entered. I sat up on the bed.

“Is there anything wrong, Madam?”

“Actually, I called you because my heart ached at some point.”

“Heart?”

“Yes. I thought it was something that would go away later, but it just got worse and worse.”

“I’ll check it out in a moment.”

I watched the doctor go through all parts of my body. However, his expression gradually changed.

“What is wrong?”

“That is…”

What? Maybe something happened to the baby? I couldn’t speak properly, and seeing the doctor hesitate, somehow it made me uneasy, so I urged him.

“It’s okay, tell me. Surely there is nothing wrong with the baby in my womb?”

“It’s not that…”

Phew, that was a relief. It was okay if the child was safe. I breathed a sigh of relief inside.

“Then what is the reason? Tell me.”

“…Your heart rate is very low.”

“What?”

“For adults, an average heart rate of 60-100 beats per minute. However, your current heart rate is less than 40 beats per minute. We’ll have to keep an eye on it, but it looks like there’s something wrong with the Madam’s heart.”

Hearing such an unexpected story, I just looked at the doctor like a fool.

“Madam…?”

As soon as I heard the doctor’s voice, I was instantly awakened.

“Oh yes. So, can it be treated?”

“That is…”

He sighed again, which meant it was difficult to say.

“I heard from my old mentor that there is an incurable disease that makes the heart gradually harden. One of the distinguishing symptoms of the disease is that the heart rate gradually decreases over time, which intensifies the pain and eventually stops the heart altogether. Therefore…”

The doctor could not say any more and closed his mouth. But I guessed by his silence what he was trying to say.

“Incurable disease… you say?”

“…Yes. I was told there is no cure yet. However, if I have Philia, I think I can do something. But she’s in the war zone right now, and she’s an expert in detoxification…”

“Then what you’re saying is… There is no cure, and I am going to die soon.”

“Madam…”

Why did the word “die” feel so different? Was it because I died once? I don’t know. Anyway, I didn’t hate the fact that I was going to die, so my voice was pretty calm.

“How long do I have left? The child, can the child be born?”

“I don’t know exactly how long you will live. In the future, we have no choice but to refrain from actions that put a strain on the heart and carefully observe the changes in the heart. However, I am not sure if you will be able to safely give birth in your current state.”

“No! The child must be born.”

“But, Madam, if you do, your lifespan will be shortened even more.”

“I don’t care. I will give birth to my child no matter what. So, in the future, be careful with your mouth. Do not talk about my illness to anyone. Understand?”

“…Yes.”

“Then you can go. I want to be alone.”

“…Yes. Then, I’ll be off.”

The doctor left and I stared blankly into the air for a while.

‘I’m going to die?’

But the fear of dying slowly creeped in the room where I was left alone.

“How much longer?”

How much longer can I live? Can I die looking at Bleon? Can the child, our child, be born? As these thoughts hung around each other, I was engulfed in fear that I would go away without being able to do anything.

‘Why do I have to die?’

What did I do wrong and have to die? Twice on top of that? Why can’t I live long? Why? Why?

My chest was tight and I wanted to hit my heart with my fists. So, the moment my hand was about to go near my chest, I realized I couldn’t do it and pounded the innocent sofa with my fist. Still, the anger did not go away.

“Bleon…”

I called out Bleon’s name. I missed him so much. I wanted to put him in my arms to calm this anxiety and fear. But he wasn’t with me. No, it was uncertain whether I would be able to see him alive now.

I told you to come back… I told you to come back alive…

“I want to see you. Bleon… Hiic.”

Thinking of him brings tears to my eyes. Thinking that I would never see him, thinking that I would not be able to be by his side even if he returned.

Please, I want to see you one more time before I die. I want to be enveloped in your arms. So come back. Come back soon, Bleon.

* * *

Winter had passed and the warm spring was now here. But my heart was still cold like winter. The baby has been in my womb for six months now. And my heart rate was now under 35 and I was dying little by little.

“The war is now…….”

Every day I was counting the time the war would end. Although it was different from the original story, I still believed that the end of the war would be the same. Fortunately, after Bleon and the remaining knights of the Empire participated in the war, the war changed completely. Cavilos was ringing triumph every day, and I heard that Bleon was doing quite well in it.

“So the war…”

In the original story, Philia returned to her hometown only in the new year. So, there was about eight months left before the war was over. At eight months, the baby in the womb will be born first. By the time Bleon returned, the baby would have just turned a hundred days old.

“Baby, you must be born healthy. So you have to live long with your father instead of me. Understand?”

Shortly after I found out I was terminally ill, I accepted my death. So if death could not be avoided, I was willing to die after doing as much as I could. And among them, having a healthy baby was the most important to me. So I took better care of my body than before.

I did everything the doctor told me to do and never did anything that puts a strain on my heart. But nonetheless, my heart rate was dropping. Still, it didn’t matter as long as I could have given birth properly. My only goal was to give birth to this child in good health and hand the child over to Bleon.

“Madam!”

As I was thinking about how to give birth to a healthier child, suddenly, outside, the butler called me in an urgent voice.

“Madam. This is Jace!”

“What’s going on?”

Jace has never lost his composure in any way. But now he was calling me with great urgency. I was puzzled by his unfamiliar attitude, and for some reason, anxiety came over me.

“Madam, I will go in.”

Jace entered the room. The urgency in his voice was also evident on his face.

“What is the matter, is it urgent?”

“The war, they said that the war is finally over!”

“What?”

“It is said that the Empire has won and the war has just been declared.”

The victorious war was not disturbing news, but very happy news. At that time, it was extremely noisy outside. There was the sound of thunderous shouts, but it was so loud that it reached through the window of my room. The people of the Empire were enjoying the victory of the war together.

‘It’s really over.’

Unlike the original story, the war that was expected to end only next year ended sooner. I was so happy that I didn’t take what it meant too seriously.

“What about the Duke? So the Duke will be back soon, right?”

“Yes, yes. Of course. He will probably be right back.”

He’s coming back. Bleon, who I had only been seeing in my dreams, was going to return. He was finally coming back to me.

So far there has been no news that something went wrong with him. So, believing that he would come back soon, I waited and waited anxiously every day. Even though I knew that he would return, the inherent anxiety did not disappear anyway. This heart had to look at Bleon with my two eyes, or else it was clear that it would disappear.

On the day I had been waiting for him to come, McCain first returned to the Duke’s house. I met McCain with a bloated belly. Looking more mature and exhausted than before he went to war, McCain stood dignifiedly in front of the mansion.

“Sir!”

When I called him, McCain turned to me. And as he was approaching me, he saw my stomach and stopped for a moment.

“You came back safely…!”

“…Yes. I am… back.”

But his expression was strange. There was no exhilaration or joy in coming back. But I thought something must have happened to him and passed it on. I couldn’t afford to pay any attention to that.

“Well, but… When will the Duke come?”

I kept looking behind McCain’s back, wondering if there might be Bleon behind him.

“I would like… to speak with you. Let’s go somewhere quiet.”

“What? Yes. Alright. Let’s go to my study.”