Chapter 25 - Panic Attack 3

Wonho stares at the building - his old department's library, his safe haven. The place where he can spend all day just reading, in the private cubicle at the top floor, without any worried in the world. He misses those days. Days when everything is secured and in place. His friends, his passion, his future, his love life.

He wants that. He wants to experience, just a taste, of his old life.

Taking a deep breath, he steps into the automatic door. The place is filled with alphas and betas - his old department's students, but he should be able to conceal himself just fine. The first face that greets him is old lady Han, his favourite librarian.

'Would you look at that!! Seo Wonho! Omo, what happened to you?'

He flashes her a simple smile to ease her excitement. He misses that too. The days when he would fall asleep in his cubicle until closing hours, and Mrs. Han would wake him up and scold him for holding her at work longer than she should. Wonho enquires about his usual place and luckily, nobody ever goes up there to even be aware of the facilities so he can use them as he always does.

Lying on the bean bag and looking out the window, he closes his eyes, taking in the familiar smell of old papers and leather covers.

'Seo Wonho. I told you not to make me do this again! You never listen!' He is awoken by the voice he used to get annoyed with. He gives her the usual grin, bows his head for the customary apology, and heads towards the elevator for the first floor.

As expected, nothing can beat sleeping in his cubicle. He uses the one at the furthest corner too often that even when he left his personal belongings there, it will still be there the next time he comes. In fact, the diary he hid in between the old books last year is still there, much to his amusement.

Wonho looks around the empty street. It is very quiet, very peaceful, just the way he likes it. There are some joggers, and some students walking home from burning the night's oil, but apart from that, he is in his own world. Everything seems really light, the air relaxing, the breeze calming. Wonho starts to hum his favourite song, walking ever so slowly back to reality.

'Won-Wonho…' He quickens his pace. He knows that voice and doesn't want to face the owner.

'Wonho! Wait!' Quick footsteps follow until Jinyoung catches his left arm, grabbing it lightly. 'Wait, please.'

The man, his most cherished omega, has his victory smile on. He looks at the taller one, trying, obviously nervous to start spilling his heart. 'How do I say this? I know things had been hard. I don't know what happened to you but I know, I think I know, that you're having a hard time. Okay now I'm repeating myself. Wait, let me calm down. Damn you walk fast. I know you have long legs but…'

Wonho stares at him; he is as adorable as ever, but that only makes it harder for him to forget them. 'Okay. Straight to the point, I still like you and I hope we can stay the same.'

'We can't be together Jinyoung. You know that.'

The smaller flashes a quick smile - a sad one before taking another minute to calm his nerves. Meanwhile, Wonho has already begin his step back. 'But we can be friends, right? We can still hang out like we used to, right? I like spending time with you.'

'… I like being around you too.'

'We don't have to be lovers. We can be friends, or best friends.'

'But I like you more than a friend. You should know that too.' He looks at the red-haired omega. He made it really clear back when they were still together. 'It's hard not to want you.'

'I, feel the same way. But… feelings change, right?' There is that bitter feeling left by the word. He doubts that. He never like anybody the way he likes the man in front of him, and he doesn't want them to change. 'If it doesn't then… we'll figure something out.'

Wonho sighs softly. He wants this really badly. He still wants to touch that smooth skin, pinch that chubby cheeks and nuzzle on that soft-looking hair. This being in front of him still looks as beautiful as ever, as tempting to him. A forbidden fruit.

Forbidden.

'My mom, my omega mom, she left me when I was little to be with her omega lover. She is already mated with my dad, yet she ran away and had my baby sister.' Jinyoung continues hesitantly. He never likes to talk about it, especially to someone he cares about, afraid to lose them. The people back in his hometown shunned him for her mom's actions, and he didn't want that to happen here, not when he finally able to make friends despite his past.

'I didn't know that Jinyoung. I'm sorry.'

'It's okay. I hated her back then but I kinda understand why she did it but that's not the point. The point is, we can make this work. If you still want to.'

This is the first time he heard of such things. Two omegas having children together. He knows it is almost impossible for them to get married, and once people starts to find out about it, life will get harder. And children, children borne from two omega parents are usually defected, or stillborn. But to know that someone out there did it, and had a healthy child, gives him a bit of hope.

'I'm not forcing you to do it. No. It's okay. It's illegal. I'm just saying I want us to stay the same. As friends if not what we had. I, I missed you. Goodnight then.'

With that, Jinyoung starts to walk away, fast enough for Wonho to follow. The new omega stands still for a while, taking in what he just heard. He stares at the other's back getting smaller as he gets further. There is no way he is letting Jinyoung disappear. If things can stay the same for them, then he will make sure it does. Chasing after the man, he finally breaks the silence, 'L-let me walk you home!'

One of his favourite things about coming back from the library early in the morning was stumbling upon Jinyoung, who would also be coming home from practice after being scolded by the security guard. He would walk the omega home, acting like the protective lover, and wish him goodnight before returning to his own.

Now, things has changed but it will only mean that they can walk together, and there will be no goodbyes in front of the gate. 'I mean, let's go back together.'